Welcome

Near the beginning of the most recent School of the Spirit residency, Patty L taught us a welcoming prayer:

Welcome, welcome, welcome.
I welcome everything that comes to me in this moment
Because I know it is for my healing.
I welcome all thoughts, feelings, emotions, persons, situations, and conditions.

I let go of my desire for security.
I let go of my desire for approval.
I let go of my desire for control.
I let go of my desire to change any situation, condition, person, or myself.

I open to the love and presence of God
And the healing action and grace within.

I found this prayer very challenging.  The part that I found hardest was welcoming my emotions.  My emotions can be big and scary and sometimes I don't want to welcome them.  But I know that being honest about how I feel makes me more whole.

I also have a hard time with letting go of my desire to "change any situation, condition, person, or myself."  I want to change things, and especially myself, all the time!  My strong reactions to this prayer were a pretty clear sign that this is a good prayer for me.

I have been thinking about the welcoming prayer again as the new year gets closer.  The coming year will be a year of a lot of change, some I know about and some that I don't.  Because I don't always respond well to change, I am trying to make this welcoming prayer my prayer for the new year.

I welcome the ways my life will change this year.  I welcome my emotions, my fear and anger as well as my joy and love, because I know they are for my healing.  I welcome my mistakes because it is by making mistakes that I learn and grow.  I welcome all of the people in my life and I pray I will be present for them when they need me and open to them when I need them.  Most of all, I welcome the presence of God in my life, and I welcome wherever that presence may lead me this year.

Voice

It suddenly struck me that I should leave. I was in class during the second School of the Spirit residency and I could no longer be in the same room with our guest teacher. He was condescending, he didn’t listen, and he interrupted women while they were speaking. I told one of our (wonderful) core teachers that I needed to take a break, and I went out to one of the prayer pavilions and tried to calm down.  I couldn’t tell if I was shaking because of the cold or something else.

After a few minutes, I decided to walk the labyrinth. My prayer going in was something like, “God, I am having trouble with male voices right now.” I walked the labyrinth, not really thinking about anything, and sat on the bench in the center.

Out of nowhere, I started sobbing. The emotions going through me felt so much bigger than me―I was shaking with rage and grief. When I could think a little more clearly, this is what came to me:

I am angry with the church for silencing my voice and for silencing women for centuries.

I am angry with the world for telling me to be quiet.

I am angry with Quakers for acting as if the equality testimony makes all of this go away.

I am angry with God for allowing all of this to happen.

I tried to welcome these emotions. I let myself sit there for a while and feel this anger and sadness. Eventually I got up and walked back out of the labyrinth.

The next morning during worship, I shook with a message I did not want to give. It was a hard message for me because I was worried that it would hurt the men there, but I knew I had to speak.  I said:

I struggle with hearing men talk about God. This is hard for me because I know these men are good people and mean well, but they speak with an ease and an ownership that I don’t feel.

And I struggle with vocal ministry. It is very hard for me. But I have realized that God is making me speak and I can’t, I can’t be silent.

Consultation Epistle

Epistle from a Consultation

regarding a School of the Spirit Ministries Program in the West

December 5, 2009

"Listen carefully. Imagine a sower going out to sow, scattering the seed widely. ..." (Mark 4:3)

Dear Friends everywhere,

We greet you with joy to share God’s movements among us during a regional consultation of Friends gathered Dec. 5th at North Seattle Friends Church, in Seattle, Washington. Together, we resoundingly affirm the authenticity of the leading described in the attached vision statement modeled after the program, "On Being a Spiritual Nurturer," under the care of "A Ministry of Prayer and Learning devoted to the School of the Spirit." We prayerfully considered many questions and new ideas, and discerned way forward in coming months. Now we wish to invite all western Quakers into the circle of our prayer over this seedling of a program, and welcome your participation in its growth and development.

What is a program “On Being a Spiritual Nurturer”? In a full-blown form, it would be a series of residential retreats over two years; it would invite participants to deeper spiritual practice and communal support, to study scripture, the Judeo-Christian heritage and Quaker spirituality; and its aim would be to nourish growth in relationship to God and spiritually enrich our home faith communities. A similar program of prayer and learning has been active in the Eastern United States for nearly 20 years and has included some Friends from the West Coast.

Thirteen Friends gathered December 5th to tend the leading for a western program. Our number included members of four Western yearly meetings, both pastoral and unprogrammed Friends: North Pacific, Northwest, Western Half-Yearly Meeting of Canadian Yearly Meeting, and Alaska Friends Conference. Christine H facilitated the consultation with eldering support from Cathy W and accompaniment by Charley B and Patty L. Patty is one of three core teachers of the "On Being a Spiritual Nurturer" program in the East under the care of the School of the Spirit Ministry. 

The interweaving of experience of pastoral and unprogrammed Friends at this consultation provided rich learning throughout the day. Deep respect and appreciation for our many strengths enlivened our consideration. In addition, we were richly tended by the hospitality of North Seattle Friends Church. Both lunch and dinner were offered through the generous talents of North Seattle Friends Church member, Patty F.

We began on Saturday morning by hearing the spiritual hungers of our far-flung faith communities and the "soil conditions" for potential planting of a School of the Spirit Ministry program in the West. Christine H, Charley B and Patty L shared the story of the leading thus far. As we began to connect Western communities' longings to the vision, we were caught up in affirmation, especially for  the desire for a program like this closer to home, the right use of Quaker gifts on this half of the continent, and the joy of contributing to the work of healing and reconciliation between the various branches of Quakerism.  We considered questions that rose about what needed further discernment. We were united with enthusiasm in our “Yes!” and felt no “stops” at all. The afternoon bubbled with energy in three small working groups that brought forth new ideas on finance and corporate tending, outreach and promotion, and curriculum and program development. Before dinner, all were invited into a time of silent creative reflection and integration offered up in honor of Lynn W, artist and Washington Friend whose memorial meeting took place the same afternoon.

A recurring theme throughout the day reminded us of the incredible abundance of God—like small seeds yielding a hundredfold harvest, or generous plenty revealed unexpectedly in Jesus' feeding of thousands. Together we grew in trust in Divine generosity to counter fears of scarce resources and skeptical communities. We experienced Way Opening as we lived into the blessings that come from moving forward in faith.

In the evening, we addressed action steps and our personal leadings to commit to some portion of this work. Several stepped forward to serve on a start-up “Western Program Oversight Committee,” including: Charley B (convener), Susanne K, Marge A, Ashley W, and Eugene N-R. They intend to meet via phone conference to create a plan to present to the Board of the School of the Spirit Ministry at the end of January. They will discern and nominate others to serve on a more permanent Western supervisory board. Christine H was affirmed to serve in the role of administrator and core teacher to continue moving this vision forward. Her first responsibilities will be to draft a start-up budget and draft follow up communication with everyone who was invited to this consultation. We concluded our gathering by sharing thoughts for this epistle. The day ended with gratitude, affirmations, prayer, and the song, “We shall go out with joy, and be led forth in peace…” (Isaiah 55:12).

We recognize that starting up a program of prayer and learning will not be easy, just as participation in the program itself will not be easy. It will ask much of us in many different ways. Yet those challenges feel exciting, stretching, and somehow freeing. What began as a delicate seedling entrusted to a small circle of Friends, is ready to share with the wider Quaker community. First one or two, then this small consultation group and soon more will gather around something wonderful God is doing in our midst. The Divine Spirit has fired us up, enlivened us with energy and ideas for this ministry. If the story of what God is doing among us moves you as well, please consider how you might contribute or participate. Opportunities abound for service on the Western oversight committee, in planning, fund raising, outreach, teaching and of course participating in program offerings. Will you join us?

May the seeds of this possibility find fertile soil in your faith community and multiply a hundredfold for the spiritual nourishment of our Religious Society of Friends.

Respectfully offered on behalf of consultation participants by,

Christine H

christine AT whidbey DOT net

Clinton, Washington

Participants:

Marge A, Multnomah Monthly Meeting, Portland, Oregon, North Pacific Yearly Meeting

Charlotte B, Chena Ridge Monthly Meeting, Fairbanks, Alaska, Alaska Friends Conference

Patty F, North Seattle Friends Church, Northwest Yearly Meeting

Christine H, attending Whidbey Island Worship group, Washington,  member of Chena Ridge Friends Meeting, Alaska Friends Conference

Kathy H, Multnomah Monthly Meeting, Portland, Oregon, North Pacific Yearly Meeting

Susanne K, Salmon Bay Monthly Meeting, Seattle, Washington, North Pacific Yearly Meeting

Patty L, North Carolina Yearly Meeting Conservative

Eugene N-R, Oysterville Worship Group, Washington, North Pacific Yearly Meeting

Lynne P, Vancouver Island Monthly Meeting, Western Half-Yearly Meeting of Canadian Yearly Meeting

Cathy W, Chena Ridge Monthly Meeting, Fairbanks, Alaska, Alaska Friends Conference

Lorraine W, Pastor of North Seattle Friends Church, Northwest Yearly Meeting

Ashley W, member of Freedom Friends Church, Salem, Oregon, sojourning with University Friends, Seattle, WA, North Pacific Yearly Meeting

Jan W, North Seattle Friends Church, Northwest Yearly Meeting