tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47903962935214495662024-03-13T11:54:49.786-04:00A Passionate and Determined Quest for Adequacy"An adequate life . . . might be described as a life which has grasped intuitively the nature of all things, and has seen and refocused itself to this whole. An inadequate life is one that lacks this adjustment to the whole nature of things—hence its twisted perspective, its partiality, its confusion."
Douglas V. Steere, describing the life of Thomas R. Kelly, in A Testament of Devotion.Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.comBlogger300125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-15100729336508325262017-01-01T11:49:00.001-05:002017-01-01T11:49:40.294-05:00An Ending . . . and New BeginningsIt's time for something new! This is my 300th post on this blog and it is my last. Please check out my new website, www.ashleymwilcox.com and my first post there, <a href="https://www.ashleymwilcox.com/blog/2016/12/27/new-beginnings">New Beginnings</a>.<br />
<br />
Thank you all for reading A Passionate and Determined Quest for Adequacy! I appreciate all of your support, prayers, and comments over the years.Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-47662650557389604712016-04-12T11:39:00.002-04:002016-04-12T11:42:39.254-04:00Quaker Confirmation<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Quakers do not have Confirmation, but I think we should. For those who
are unfamiliar with the term, Confirmation is a process for young people
in the church to become a member of the church. In many denominations,
this occurs when the young people are between 12-14, though it can
happen earlier or later. After a series of classes, the church has a
special liturgy for the confirmands to make a statement of faith and the
church to welcome them. In some denominations, like the Holy Roman
Church, Confirmation is a sacrament.<br /><br />Friends do not have any
outward sacraments, and I am not suggesting that we create a sacrament
of Confirmation. I think there are good reasons, however, to have a
Quaker version of a Confirmation class for our high school group in
<a href="http://atlanta.quaker.org/">Atlanta Friends Meeting</a>, culminating in an invitation to become a member
of the meeting.<br /><br />For Friends, membership is a way of establishing
mutual support and accountability between the individual and the
meeting---the Friend makes a commitment to be a part of this faith
community and support it spiritually, physically, and financially. In
return, the meeting recognizes that the individual is a part of this
spiritual community and the meeting is responsible to care for and
encourage the person in body and spirit. Membership is not required to
be involved in the life of the meeting, but there are certain positions
and committees on which one cannot serve unless one is a member.<br /><br />In
Atlanta Friends Meeting, we have many teenagers who are part of the
meeting, but not many of them are members. As these teens graduate from
high school and begin thinking about college and finding jobs, they
will most likely move into a time of transition. This may result in
moving to another place and they may not find another meeting to join
for a decade or more. Having a class on what it means to be a member of
a Quaker meeting and encouraging them to become members of Atlanta
Friends Meeting is a way to provide support and accountability for these
young Friends during this time of transition.<br /><br />Ideally, a Quaker Confirmation class would include the following:</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">An
overview of Quaker history, including the different branches of Friends
and the Testimonies (Simplicity, Peace, Integrity, Community, Equality,
and Service)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">A discussion of what occurs during Quaker worship</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">A workshop on Faith and Practice and Quaker business process</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Invitations to participate in business meeting and to sit in on a committee meeting</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">A panel on what it means to be a member and why one would consider membership</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">An explanation of the process for membership, with an invitation to apply for membership</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Ultimately,
the process for membership for those in the Confirmation class would be
the same as for anyone else in the meeting, as set forth in <a href="http://sayma.org/online_documents.htm#F&P">SAYMA Faith and Practice</a>, p. 34. The individual would write a letter to the
Ministry and Worship committee, indicating why they feel drawn
to the Religious Society of Friends. Ministry and Worship would then
set up a clearness committee to meet with the individual. Once the
committee is clear to recommend membership, it would report back to
Ministry and Worship, which then makes a recommendation to business
meeting. The business meeting would hold the recommendation over for
one month and, if all approved, welcome the individual into membership.<br /><br />Some
caveats: First, I think we may need to call it something other than
Confirmation. When we discussed the idea of having a class like this in
our Ministry and Worship committee, there were some who came from
liturgical traditions and balked at the word Confirmation. Second, it
would have to be very clear that this is an invitation, and the
teenagers are not required to become members of the meeting. Third, if
the class is interested, it might be a good idea to have time for
visiting other kinds of faith communities, to give the class an
opportunity to see whether another path might be a better fit for them.<br /><br />Regardless
of what the meeting decides to call it, I hope that Atlanta Friends
Meeting will consider some form of Quaker Confirmation. I recommend
holding the class at least once every four years for the high school
group, and preferably every other year, to give the teens two
opportunities to consider whether they want to become members. This is a
way for everyone in the meeting to engage in intergenerational
conversations of what membership means, and for the meeting to provide
support and accountability for the teens as they consider their next
phase of life. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">[<i>Written for my </i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>Practicum </i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>in Liturgy on Weddings, Funerals, and Confirmation.</i>]</span></span> </span>Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-33907904257599886852016-01-31T18:56:00.000-05:002016-01-31T18:56:07.292-05:00Recorded Minister Report for 2015<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">My soul waits for the Lord<br />more than those who watch for the morning.<br />Psalm 130:6</span></blockquote>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ubCLLmztkD4/Vq6cqJvOmUI/AAAAAAAAAvU/WHyBFj_oEQw/s1600/IMG_0745.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ubCLLmztkD4/Vq6cqJvOmUI/AAAAAAAAAvU/WHyBFj_oEQw/s320/IMG_0745.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Looking
back over this year, it is helpful for me to separate it into three
seasons. In the spring, I finished my second year of Contextual
Education through <a href="http://candler.emory.edu/index.html">Candler</a><span class="">—</span>eight hours a week of
being involved in the life of <a href="http://atlanta.quaker.org/">Atlanta Friends Meeting</a>. My main focus
was on the meeting’s Gathered Meeting Retreat, which took place the last
weekend of March. The theme was “How Friends Worship.” I was glad to
have the opportunity to lead this retreat; it felt like a good use of my
gifts. I continued to facilitate monthly mid-week worship at Candler.
I also served on various committees at Atlanta Friends Meeting,
including the Worship and Ministry committee, an anchoring committee,
and clearness and wedding committees. I finished my time as the
chaplain of <a href="https://www.facebook.com/CandlerSacredWorth/?fref=ts">Sacred Worth</a> (the LGBTQ Candler student group), and helped
organize the Sacred Worth week on Trans*forming Christianity, where we
celebrated the gifts of trans Christians.<br /><br />Over the summer, I
worked for ten weeks as the pastoral intern of <a href="http://firstfriendsmeeting.org/">First Friends Meeting</a>, an
FUM meeting in Greensboro, NC. I was able to experience many aspects
of pastoral ministry, including helping with four weddings, a memorial,
and two baby blessings. I also </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Vkeizu6WETg/Vq6c5PpGdrI/AAAAAAAAAvc/jdZfwDaQhdU/s1600/IMG_0986.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Vkeizu6WETg/Vq6c5PpGdrI/AAAAAAAAAvc/jdZfwDaQhdU/s320/IMG_0986.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
preached in programmed worship, worked in
the office, went on pastoral visits, and organized Quaker Eights
groups. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed pastoral ministry, and
how it brings together my gifts of vocal ministry, pastoral care, and
administration. It was also wonderful to connect with Friends from
other meetings during my time in Greensboro.<br /><br />In the fall, I
returned to Atlanta for my final year at Candler. Now that I have
finished my Contextual Education obligations in the meeting, this has
been a good time for me to discern what I feel called to do and what to
let go. I joined the <a href="http://friendsjournal.org/">Friends Journal</a> Board of Trustees and traveled to
Philadelphia for my first board meeting. I took some interesting and
challenging classes, including Ecclesiology, which gave me an
opportunity to think about Friends’ practices and structures, and a
class on Religion, Sexuality, and Reproductive Health, which was
cross-listed with Emory’s school of public health. I experienced a lot
of changes in my life: I started a new relationship, had to leave my
apartment, and I got a car. The changes have been mostly very good, but
I am still adjusting.<br /><br />Letting things go has continued to be a
good spiritual practice for me. I withdrew from a class this year for
the first time in my academic career, and I am not planning on taking
the second semester of Hebrew; instead, I plan to focus on my thesis.
My support network is <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
good: I meet monthly with a spiritual director
and am part of a spiritual nurture group that <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-O19mrn9ncXg/Vq6dNEZHmuI/AAAAAAAAAvo/CG8XA0do9yg/s1600/IMG_1094.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="263" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-O19mrn9ncXg/Vq6dNEZHmuI/AAAAAAAAAvo/CG8XA0do9yg/s320/IMG_1094.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
meets twice a month. I
met regularly with members of my anchoring committee in the spring, but
have not been as consistent this past fall. I have found self-care
practices that work for me, including exercise, drawing and coloring
mandalas, and singing in choirs, and I have recently started playing
more board games.<br /><br />Looking ahead, the biggest thing on the horizon
is graduation in May. I am actively seeking employment for after
graduation. In December, I spent a weekend interviewing and preaching
for a semi-programmed FUM meeting that is looking for a full-time
pastor. The search committee and I are in discernment, and I should
know more in January. I feel like my classes this semester are
preparing me for pastoral ministry: I am taking classes on Conflict
Transformation, Preaching, and a practica on Weddings, Funerals, and
Confirmation. I am trying to be open and embrace the new things ahead
in the coming year.<br /><br />Thank you for your support and prayers.</span>Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-24689747405824370882015-08-28T07:48:00.000-04:002015-08-28T07:48:01.127-04:00On Yearly Meetings "Releasing" Meetings<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">With all the news about certain yearly meetings (*ahem* <a href="http://nwfriends.org/">Northwest Yearly Meeting</a>/<a href="http://www.ncym-fum.org/">North Carolina Yearly Meeting</a>) "releasing" meetings, I think some Friends have lost the thread.<br /><br /> And the fact that in both cases it was a small committee acting outside of its authority, in my opinion, indicates a lack of Gospel Order. <br /><br /> If it is the will of God to expel the meetings who don't "follow Faith & Practice," bring it to the floor of business meeting.<br /><br /> (Which is kind of ridiculous because Faith & Practice is descriptive, not prescriptive. If Friends are hearing otherwise, revise F&P.)<br /><br /> I am encouraged by the faithful response of individuals and meetings saying that these decisions will not stand.<br /><br /> But there are a lot of wounded people right now. If we say we are Friends, we'd better listen for the voice of the Spirit together.<br /><br /> If not, we shouldn't call ourselves Friends. Just some other group that doesn't believe in listening for unity in the Spirit.</span>Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com45tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-47452770706413532352015-08-06T16:31:00.000-04:002015-08-06T16:31:21.079-04:00Let's Talk About Sin<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">[<i>The message I gave in programmed worship on August 2, 2015 at First Friends Meeting. An audio recording of the message is available on the <a href="http://www.firstfriendsmeeting.org/2015/08/sunday-august-2/">First Friends website</a>.</i>]</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">2 Samuel 12:1-13 (NRSV)<br /><br />And the Lord sent Nathan to David. He came to
him, and said to him, “There were two men in a certain city, the one
rich and the other poor. The rich man had very many flocks and herds;
but the poor man had nothing but one little ewe lamb, which he had
bought. He brought it up, and it grew up with him and with his children;
it used to eat of his meager fare, and drink from his cup, and lie in
his bosom, and it was like a daughter to him. Now there came a traveler
to the rich man, and he was loath to take one of his own flock or herd
to prepare for the wayfarer who had come to him, but he took the poor
man’s lamb, and prepared that for the guest who had come to him.” Then
David’s anger was greatly kindled against the man. He said to Nathan,
“As the Lord lives, the man who has done this deserves to die; he shall
restore the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing, and because he had
no pity.”<br /><br />Nathan said to David, “You are the man! Thus says the
Lord, the God of Israel: I anointed you king over Israel, and I rescued
you from the hand of Saul; I gave you your master’s house, and your
master’s wives into your bosom, and gave you the house of Israel and of
Judah; and if that had been too little, I would have added as much more.
Why have you despised the word of the Lord, to do what is evil in his
sight? You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword, and have
taken his wife to be your wife, and have killed him with the sword of
the Ammonites. Now therefore the sword shall never depart from your
house, for you have despised me, and have taken the wife of Uriah the
Hittite to be your wife. Thus says the Lord: I will raise up trouble
against you from within your own house; and I will take your wives
before your eyes, and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with
your wives in the sight of this very sun. For you did it secretly; but I
will do this thing before all Israel, and before the sun.” David said
to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan said to David, “Now
the Lord has put away your sin; you shall not die.”</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">This morning we are talking about a challenging topic: sin. A lot of
the time, Quakers do not like to talk about sin. We prefer to start
with the Light within: there is that of God in each of us, and if we
listen for that voice of God, we will hear. But sometimes that Light
within is what shows us the ways that we have strayed, the ways that we
have missed the mark. And there are a lot of people missing the mark in
this passage.<br /><br />I also think it’s important to talk about
sin because, as <a href="http://candler.emory.edu/faculty/faculty-bios/losel.cfm">one of my professors</a> in seminary said, if we don’t have
a theology of sin, then we tend to locate sin outside of ourselves. We
see it in other people or other kinds of people rather than in
ourselves.<br /><br />A lot of people know the story that came
before this one, the story of Bathsheba, but let’s talk about that first
so we have some context. It’s a hard story. David had become king of
Israel. He was the ruler with all the power, and he had wives,
property, and a house. One day as he looked out, he saw this woman
Bathsheba as she was bathing for a purification ritual, and he wanted
her. So he sent out his men to her and brought her to him. He knew she
was married to Uriah, but he did this anyway, and he slept with her.
Then when Bathsheba told David that she was pregnant, he first tried to
get her husband to come back to make it seem like the baby was his.
But when Uriah refused, David then arranged to have him killed in the
front line of battle.<br /><br />So we go from that story to the
story of Nathan confronting David. This is the second time that we have
seen Nathan confront David: we saw that a few weeks ago when David
wanted to build a house for God and Nathan said no, David would not be
the one to build a house for God. And so Nathan comes again to David
and he tells him this story and gets David to be sympathetic. Then he
tells David, “You’re the one who did this.”<br /><br />Often when I
hear sermons on this passage, they focus on that first part: on the
story and on David, and how Nathan kind of tricked David, and they ask
us to sympathize with David. But what struck me when I read this
passage again is that even though this is a story about Bathsheba, the
passage never says her name. The passage says she is the wife of Uriah.
It is not only Bathsheba who is treated as property in this passage,
but all of the wives are treated as property. As punishment for David’s
sin, Nathan says that his other wives will be taken before his eyes and
given to another and another person shall lie with his wives.<br /><br />David wrote a Psalm after this story. Psalm 51:3-5 says,</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">For I know my transgressions,<br /> and my sin is ever before me.<br />Against you, you alone, have I sinned,<br /> and done what is evil in your sight,<br />so that you are justified in your sentence<br /> and blameless when you pass judgment.<br />Indeed, I was born guilty,<br /> a sinner when my mother conceived me. </span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">In
this Psalm, David is saying that he sinned against God alone, but I
disagree! David sinned against Bathsheba and he sinned against Uriah. <br /><br />I
have struggled with the idea of sin. I came from a denomination that
was much more focused on sin than Friends sometimes are, and there was a
lot about making everyone feel bad and guilty. I don’t think that’s
necessarily helpful. But I read a book recently that really helped me
rethink sin. The book is by Serene Jones and it is called <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Feminist-Christian-Theology-Theological-Inquiry/dp/080062694X">Feminist Theory and Christian Theology</a>. I am going to draw on some of Jones’
ideas on oppression and sin to approach this passage.<br /><br />Bathsheba
lived in a patriarchal system. She lived in a system that did not
recognize her full humanity. In her book, Jones reminds us that there
is a tension between individual and personal sin and collective and
institutional sin. We see David’s individual sins here: murder and
rape. Those are sins that are easy to identify. But there is also a
sin here: both David and Nathan are within this patriarchal system.
Denying Bathsheba’s humanity is a sin and it is contrary to how God
wants the world to be. Jones says that we believe, as Christians, “that
the brokenness we experience is not right, that there must be another
way for us to live, a way that enables the flourishing of women and of
all people.” (93) <br /><br />So David confesses his sin to God and
he is forgiven, but Bathsheba is still hurt. Bathsheba is powerless,
she is marginalized, and she is subject to sexual violence. These are
faces of oppression that we still see in lives of women today. <br /><br />The
Psalm also says, “Indeed, I was born guilty, a sinner when my mother
conceived me.” That, to me, sounds like original sin, which is another
thing that I have really struggled with. And I think especially for
many women, sin talk has meant people telling them that they should be
ashamed of their bodies and ashamed of their sexuality. <br /><br />That
is a way that this passage is often interpreted. I read a commentary
yesterday saying that Bathsheba was a righteous woman: there is no
indication that she was unfaithful to her husband. That was healing for
me to read, but it still kind of said that it was her fault. The
commentary said that she was doing this ritual washing at the wrong
time, and that was why David raped her. <br /><br />I can’t believe that. I can’t believe that it was her fault. <br /><br />This
book by Jones has been helpful for me because it takes some of the
traditional male approaches to theology and she re-maps them from the
perspective of women. A powerful example for me was contrasting how the
theologian Calvin saw sin (this is a kind of traditional version of
sin) with a woman’s experience. Calvin described sin as looking into a
mirror and seeing oneself, and the sin that one sees is pride. This is a
version of sin that really comes from the perspective of a man with a
lot of social power and a loud voice. But for many women, the sin is
not pride. Women are much more likely to have an incomplete sense of
self, and the sin is not being able to see one’s full self. So Jones
suggests instead an image of a mirror that is fragmented. That we are
looking into a mirror and not seeing our complete selves. That we are
looking into a mirror and not seeing the world as it should be, not the
way God intends it to be in its wholeness. <br /><br />Jones also
re-maps the idea of original sin in a way that is helpful for me. She
says that we recognize that we are all born into systems of oppression.
I named some of those earlier in oppression of women: women are
oppressed by being powerless, by being marginalized, and being the
subject of sexual violence. We are all born into a world where that
happens. It’s not something that we can avoid. But we have the
opportunity to resist these systems of oppression as they come up in our
lives. As people make small comments or we see something that we know
is just not right, we can speak up against these systems of oppression.
Or we can perpetuate them. We are in them, regardless.<br /><br />The
last time we talked about David and Nathan, I asked who we identify
with in these passages. And I ask that again: who do we identify with
when we hear this story? Do we identify with David, the ruler who has
lots of power and is recognizing his own individual sin? Do we identify
with Nathan, a prophet who is confronting David and is doing the right
thing, but is still complicit in this system of oppression of women? Do
we identify with Bathsheba, the person who has been sinned against but
is not named?<br /><br />When have people sinned against us and
then made it all about them? When have we had to confront people in
authority about the ways they have perpetuated systems of oppression?
How do we do this within the relationships that we already have? <br /> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Last
week in <a href="http://www.firstfriendsmeeting.org/2015/07/sunday-july-26-2015/">Deborah’s message</a>, we heard the passage in Ephesians 4:1 that
begins, “I therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beg you to lead a life
worthy of the calling to which you have been called . . .” How do we
walk worthy of our calling? How do we name uncomfortable truths? How
do we recognize these systems of oppression that we are in? It’s not
just oppression of women, but oppression of people of color, and people
with disabilities, and people with diverse sexual orientations. We may
be called to speak out against any one of these, or we may be called to
speak out where they intersect. How do we listen to what our calling
is?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">As we enter into a time of open worship, I invite everyone to listen for
the voice of God. Listen to how God is calling us in these hard
places. </span>Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-17464775994117121942015-07-12T13:30:00.000-04:002015-07-12T13:30:00.069-04:00Business Meeting Report (July)<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">[<i>As part of my internship with <a href="http://firstfriendsmeeting.org/">First Friends Meeting</a>, I am writing short reports to the monthly meeting for business. This is my report for the July business meeting.</i>] </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I am over halfway through my 10-week internship with First Friends
Meeting and I have been having a wonderful time! Everyone has been so
friendly</span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">—I feel right at home. In my first week, I had the opportunity
to travel with other Friends to the FUM Stoking the Fire conference in
Ohio. Since then, I have been able to experience many aspects of
pastoral ministry, including helping Deborah with three weddings, a
memorial, and two baby blessings, along with working in the office,
pastoral visits, and other forms of pastoral care. I have been working
on putting people in the First Friends community into Quaker Eights
groups, with the hope that these small groups will help foster community
and deepen relationships in the meeting. I enjoyed preaching at
Vespers for Friends Homes (West), and I look forward to preaching during
First Friends’ programmed worship. It has also been a joy for me to
join the choir. Thank you all for being so welcoming! I look forward
to getting to know you better as the summer progresses.</span>Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-72513790762371914532015-06-29T13:40:00.000-04:002015-06-29T13:40:45.630-04:00Guest Post: Why Can't We All Just Get Along?[<i>I am spending the summer as the pastoral intern at <a href="http://firstfriendsmeeting.org/">First Friends Meeting</a>, a church in <a href="http://www.ncym-fum.org/">North Carolina Yearly Meeting (FUM)</a>. On Sunday, June 21, Deborah S offered this message in programmed worship. She agreed to let me share her message as a guest post here.</i>]<br />
<br />
<br />
We
in the Quaker tradition generally don’t incorporate the outward
sacrament of confession and absolution into our worship service. But
sometimes I wish we did. Because I believe that we who are leaders in
our state denomination—North Carolina Yearly Meeting of Friends—we have
sin to confess. And it’s the sin of once again dividing up the body of
Christ. <br />
<br />
If we did offer public confession, my prayer would be this:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Jesus,
during that last meal with your friends, you interceded for your
disciples and said: “I pray that all of them may be one, Father, just as
you are in me and I am in you.” (John 17:21)</i><br />
<br />
Jesus prayed that
his followers may be one. Yet, like so many before us in so many
different Christian denominations, our state gathering is spiritually
divided. We are not one. We who preach peace are fighting among
ourselves. <br />
<br />
<u><b>Forgive us, O God.</b></u><br />
<br />
<i>Jesus, you said, “Whoever
does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and
mother.” (Matthew 12:50) And yet, in our brokenness we have taken it
upon ourselves to judge who is right, who is wrong, who is in, who is
out.</i><br />
<br />
<u><b>Forgive us, O God.</b></u><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Jesus you said, “This is my
commandment, that you Love one another, as I have loved you. You are my
friends if you do what I have commanded.” (John 15:12, 14)</i><br />
<br />
Our
very name, The Religious Society of Friends, comes from that same
passage, this passage calling us to Love. And while I think Friends in
all of our meetings (churches) want to love one another, we have failed.
And instead, some have questioned other’s integrity and we have had
spats over theology. While I believe differing opinions are fine, in
our disagreements in our wider Quaker denominational gatherings, we have
often been unkind to one another. Hurtful words have been uttered. We
have not stayed centered in Christ’s love or centered in the Holy
Spirit.<br />
<br />
<u><b>Forgive us, O God, I pray. </b></u><br />
<br />
<u><b>Amen.</b></u></blockquote>
For
those of you who are visiting today or are relatively new to First
Friends Meeting, I promise that today’s sermon is a one-off. We don’t
normally focus on our denominational woes. And let me emphasize that the
divisions I am speaking about are not internal to First Friends
Meeting. So… please don’t let today’s message scare you away, okay?<br />
<br />
Thankfully,
we at this meeting are not fighting over theology. We certainly have
our own failings and growing edges, but as a local congregation we are
not struggling over the issues that are dividing the wider state
denomination. And while I haven’t wanted to preach about this before
(there is not a lot of joy in it), I think it’s time to talk plainly
from the “pulpit” about these wider concerns that are taking place
beyond our local meeting in our wider North Carolina Quaker world.<br />
<br />
I,
of course, can only speak this morning from my experience and my
perspective. I encourage you to talk with others, ask questions, read
the material that we will get out to you soon. Then please come to our
July 12 Monthly Meeting for Business, as we seek to hear God’s voice
among us in order that our First Friends representative can then speak
clearly on our behalf to the wider Quaker body on August 1.<br />
<br />
Many
of you have heard rumblings that our state denomination is in trouble.
And you have asked, “What the heck is going on? What are we arguing
about? What is dividing the sixty plus Quaker meetings (or churches)
that we’ve been connected to for over a hundred years?”<br />
<br />
Well… it’s complicated. Of course. But here’s my best understanding on what we are struggling with:<br />
<br />
<b>The
first issue in our Yearly Meeting is that, among the 60 different
churches, we have differing views of Scripture.</b> Many of our beloved
siblings in Christ understand scripture to be their primary authority.
First and foremost, their source of spiritual authority is the Bible.
While we at First Friends love scripture, we also believe (much as early
Friends taught) that the Bible is merely words unless the Holy Spirit
brings our reading of scripture to life.<br />
<br />
As we read scripture, we
seek to understand it through the lens of Jesus who said that the
greatest commandment is to love God and love our neighbor. So we try to
read and interpret scripture in that spirit. <br />
<br />
Which means, for
instance, that even though there are parts of the bible that say women
should be silent in the church, we affirm that God can speak equally to
all people. It means that although war was understood in King David’s
day to be God-led and even spirit-inspired, we choose to say war should
never be the answer.<br />
<br />
And getting to one of the current major
dividing points: while Jesus didn’t speak to the issue of same-sex
marriage, it is our understanding that scripture, properly interpreted,
affirms covenantal relationships. And so yes, we will affirm and marry a
same-sex couple that is choosing to make the huge and prayerful
commitment that marriage asks of anyone. <br />
<br />
(And, since same-sex
marriage is a huge topic, if my words surprise you, please feel free to
call me and we can talk about it further.)<br />
<br />
So, the first point is that people within our state denomination are divided over scripture and its authority.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>A second issue is the question: Who is saved? And how are we saved? </b><br />
<br />
Many
of our fellow Quakers believe that the only way to God is through a
personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and that it is through the
sacrificial blood of Christ that our sins are forgiven and one receives
salvation.<br />
<br />
Now here at First Friends, we will respond to that
question of salvation in a variety of ways. But, in general, we would
affirm that it is not ours to judge who is in and who is out. Early
Friends preached about the universal saving Light of Christ. About how
people who are living out a deep and genuinely loving faith that results
in loving their neighbor—those people with such a faith—are
encountering the Living Christ even if they don’t know the name of
Jesus.<br />
<br />
So, there are genuine differences in how we view
salvation, and those differences have become a great concern for some in
our Yearly Meeting. <br />
<br />
In my experience, those are the two main theological concerns.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Of
course, the underlying question is: Why can’t we all just live with the
differences?</b> Why do we need to agree on our view of Scripture or
salvation? After all, we in NCYM have lived with theological diversity
for years … why can’t we continue to do so?<br />
<br />
I wish we could. I
personally think we could. I believe First Friends is made richer for
being in association with others who think and believe differently. I
like the diversity. I need the wideness of thought, prayer, and belief.<br />
<br />
However,
not everyone in our Yearly Meeting is comfortable with that range of
beliefs. And I respect their reason for wanting to disassociate with us
and those who believe differently. It comes down to what the Apostle
Paul called being “unequally yoked.”<br />
<br />
The Apostle Paul wrote that
we should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Many of our beloved
Friends feel their association with those who believe differently
regarding salvation and the Bible (and same-sex marriage) qualifies as
being unequally yoked. And this is a sincere belief. My more
theologically conservative friends are not trying to be mean or
judgmental, they are simply stating what they understand to be true and
wanting to be faithful to their beliefs.<br />
<br />
As one of my
friends from the other end of the theological spectrum said to me, “How
can we preach Jesus and his sacrifice on the cross as the only way to
salvation when you across town teach something else? Our association
dilutes the clear message of salvation in Christ.” And again, he said
that not with a mean spirit, not even critically, but in care and with
sincerity. <br />
<br />
For our more theologically conservative Friends, our
diversity of belief is a genuine stumbling block. And I get it. So let
me emphasize: this is not light versus darkness or good guys versus bad
guys, etc. For the most part, these are our fellow Quakers who like us
and even love us, but simply feel like they can not continue to remain
yoked with us.<br />
<br />
<b>Which brings me back to my first words: May God
forgive us.</b> For I believe that somewhere along the way, we all haven’t
maintained the relationships that could have seen us through these
theological differences.<br />
<br />
And so our state denomination is at a
standstill. Our body of representatives will gather on August 1 and
possibly make a decision to separate in some manner. Or maybe some other
GREAT wisdom will arise allowing us to health-fully, authentically
remain as one body. <br />
<br />
<b>What I do know is that it is time to stop
our theological spats.</b> Because the world needs all of us, conservatives
and progressive alike, to do the work of Jesus, who called us to feed
the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the orphans, and work for justice.
And friends, I am hopeful because we worship a God who forgives our
brokenness, wipes away our sin, and calls us into new life together.<br />
<br />
So,
let us pray for wisdom. Whether we stay together as a denomination or
not, let us prayerfully determine in the wider body to at least love one
another. For they will know we are Christians by our love, by our
love. And they know we are Christians by our love.<br />
<br />
Amen.Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-81063657974120621372015-05-26T10:03:00.001-04:002015-05-26T10:14:52.720-04:00Stoking the Fire<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I had my first real experience with <a href="http://fum.org/">Friends United Meeting</a> (FUM) Friends over the weekend at the <a href="http://fum.org/stoking-the-fire/">Stoking the Fire</a> conference, which took place May 22-25 in Milford, OH. This was supposed to be my first week of work at <a href="http://www.firstfriendsmeeting.org/">First Friends Meeting</a>, but since my supervisor is out of town, she suggested that I attend the conference and get to know FUM Friends that way. I usually like to wait a while to let things settle before writing about an experience like this, but since I am leaving for California tomorrow, I want to write some of my initial impressions.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">One of the highlights for me was being able to ride in the car with other Friends from <a href="http://www.ncym-fum.org/">North Carolina Yearly Meeting (FUM)</a>. I did not know any of these Friends before we set off together on the 7.5-hour trip from Greensboro to Milford, but we know each other well now! We spent a lot of time talking about our meetings, yearly meetings, and preaching, and we laughed a lot.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">This was the first Quaker conference I have been to in a long time where I did not have any </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QA8Z7J77L9w/VWR-1oAXHJI/AAAAAAAAArk/tNUHL7jC6QM/s1600/IMG_0920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QA8Z7J77L9w/VWR-1oAXHJI/AAAAAAAAArk/tNUHL7jC6QM/s320/IMG_0920.jpg" width="240" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">responsibilities. That was a little strange for me, but also pretty great. The planners did a good job of building spaciousness into the schedule, with breaks and unstructured time, and I spent a fair amount of time napping and reading for pleasure. The conference center was also very comfortable, with single rooms and plenty of food. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I didn't know what to expect entering an FUM gathering, but the Friends were extremely welcoming. I got to spend time with some Friends I hadn't seen since the <a href="http://www.saltandlight2012.org/">2012 World Conference of Friends</a>. It was lovely to be able to catch up and share new ideas (some Friends and I especially enjoyed debating the parameters of "bro theology" over lunch one day). I also got to know some new people, and I expect those relationships will continue online and as we travel among Friends.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The worship times were warm and welcoming, with a spirit of listening and a willingness to experiment. The gathering was explicitly Christ-centered, and I got the sense that many Friends there feel out of place in their own meetings; they seemed relieved to be in a place where they could share their Christian beliefs freely. The singing throughout the weekend fed my soul, especially in the Saturday evening Taize worship.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">One thing that was surprising and disappointing was the gender imbalance in presenters over the weekend. Men preached every morning, led the plenaries, and led most of the other activities in the large group. In our main sessions, only two out of ten were led by women. There were three young men (i.e., under 40) present, and all of them had leadership roles in the main sessions; there were at least eight young women, and none of them did. The women who led tended to be in typically female roles: as support, leading music, or leading prayer. I also noticed immediately that everyone was using male pronouns for God. I am not used to hearing exclusively male pronouns anymore, and it was distracting and a little alienating for me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Even more distressing were some of the comments that older men made to younger women present. There was one man in particular who referred to all of the women there as "honey" and "girl," and then proceeded to tell them what to do. I heard from three women that some of the men had made inappropriate comments about their appearance, including sexual and racial remarks. This behavior is unacceptable and I expect better from Friends.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The conference took place over Pentecost weekend, and there was a sense of longing for a new Pentecost among Friends, a renewed fire in the Religious Society as a whole. We did not experience that kind of fire, but there was a warmth to the gathering that was encouraging. I think most of the Friends there came out with a renewed feeling of commitment and a greater sense of hope for the future of Friends.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Rod-wg-0xbc/VWR_RAAJKsI/AAAAAAAAArs/xyP1AxxVDwc/s1600/IMG_0922.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Rod-wg-0xbc/VWR_RAAJKsI/AAAAAAAAArs/xyP1AxxVDwc/s400/IMG_0922.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">In the final session, we spent time sharing where we had seen fire in various places throughout the weekend. Rather than a bonfire, many of the fires were more like the candles in the Taize service<span class="st">—small but giving off more light and heat than we might have expected. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="st">Then Colin invited Friends to join him in the center of the circle, to draw near to Christ with him. He started by inviting people individually and eventually everyone was welcomed in. Afterward, a Friend referred to this moment as an altar call, and I realized that it was, but unlike other altar calls I have witnessed, which can feel manipulative and coercive, this grew organically out of the time that we shared together. Friends felt free to come to the center or stay on the edges, and Christ was present everywhere.</span></span>Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-77270336104708108292015-05-10T16:25:00.000-04:002015-05-10T16:25:08.330-04:00Mid-Year Report<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">[<i>To the May business meeting of <a href="http://freedomfriends.org/">Freedom Friends Church</a></i>]</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">People say that the second year of seminary is the hardest. Academically, this year was not as challenging as I expected, but it has been emotionally difficult. Many things in the culture had an impact on people in my program, including the Black Lives Matter movement responding to white privilege and police violence, and especially the scheduling and delay of Kelly Gissendaner’s execution (an inmate at Lee Arrendale State Prison, where I worked as a chaplain intern last year). I also withdrew from a class for the first time ever, because the professor was a bully and I felt like I wasn’t learning anything. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I feel like an outsider here in a number of ways. It has been challenging for me to be the only Quaker at <a href="http://candler.emory.edu/">Candler</a>, where I am frequently called on to educate people about the Religious Society of Friends and to represent Friends. In the Pacific Northwest, my politics seem pretty moderate; here, people consider me extremely liberal. I miss the diversity of Friends in the Pacific Northwest and the ways Convergent Friends interact and worship together. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I finished my contextual education at <a href="http://atlanta.quaker.org/">Atlanta Friends Meeting</a> this spring. My main focus this past semester was on the meeting’s Gathered Meeting Retreat, which took place the last weekend of March. The theme was “How Friends Worship.” Over the weekend, we tried various prayer practices, talked about the language we use for the divine, and shared about our experiences in unprogrammed worship. On Sunday morning, we had semi-programmed worship, Bible reading in the manner of Ohio Yearly Meeting Conservative Friends, and unprogrammed worship. I was glad to have the opportunity to lead this retreat; it felt like a good use of my gifts. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">One of the purposes of seminary is to make students confront their own issues and unhealthy patterns. Over the winter, I began seeing a new therapist who has both an MDiv and a Ph.D from Emory---a good fit for me right now. She and I did good work together, particularly around anxiety, sexuality, and attachment. I have continued to see my spiritual director monthly, and a third person joined my anchoring committee. I have a strong support system, which is reassuring for me. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Looking ahead to next year, there are a number of things I am excited about. I agreed to serve on the board of trustees for <a href="http://friendsjournal.org/">Friends Journal</a>, and decided to step down from the Sacred Worth executive board to make time for that new commitment. My MDiv thesis proposal was approved: I will be writing about how women ministers’ bodies are seen as both threatening and threatened. I also will be participating in Candler Advantage, which will provide me with an $8,000 grant and three credits for spending the summer working at <a href="http://firstfriendsmeeting.org/">First Friends Meeting</a> in Greensboro, NC. I am excited to spend time in a programmed, <a href="http://fum.org/">FUM</a> meeting, and I am looking forward to preaching and gaining experience in pastoral care and administration there. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">In some ways, it is hard to believe that I am two-thirds of my way through seminary, though in other ways it has felt very long. I am starting to think more about what I want to do after I am finished with school here, and hoping to find a place and a job where I can settle for a while. Thank you for your love and support.</span>Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-1006808787638152582015-04-29T09:50:00.000-04:002015-04-29T09:50:46.950-04:00Seven YearsToday marks seven years since I started this blog. That's kind of hard for me to believe. Seven years ago, I was a brand new lawyer, living in Seattle, working for a court. Since then, I have moved several times, left the law (mostly) behind, and started seminary. When I began writing here, I had no idea that within a few months I would start years of traveling ministry among Friends or that I would eventually be recorded as a minister. I just knew that I had to write.<br />
<br />
Over the years, I have used my blog for different purposes. It has often been a way for me to tell those I love who live far away what I am doing. Sometimes I have responded to something specific that is happening in Friends or the culture. I have shared traveling minutes and annual reports. Recently, it has been a place to post some of the writing I am doing for school and my reflections on being a Quaker at <a href="http://candler.emory.edu/">Candler School of Theology</a>.<br />
<br />
Writing here led to writing elsewhere. Pieces of mine have been featured in four Quaker anthologies (<a href="https://www.quakerbooks.org/book/writing-cheerfully-web">Writing Cheerfully on the Web</a>, <a href="https://westernfriend.org/book/enlivened-mystery-quakers-and-god">Enlivened by the Mystery</a>, <a href="http://quakerbooks.org/book/spirit-rising">Spirit Rising</a>, and <a href="https://westernfriend.org/book/inner-strength-quakers-and-leadership">An Inner Strength</a>), as well as in <a href="http://www.friendsjournal.org/">Friends Journal</a> and <a href="https://westernfriend.org/">Western Friend.</a> A lot of that writing appeared here first. The blog itself has been a useful archive for my writing over time. When Friends ask for resources on particular topics, like <a href="http://questforadequacy.blogspot.com/search/label/Vocal%20Ministry">vocal ministry</a>, <a href="http://questforadequacy.blogspot.com/search/label/Eldering">eldering</a>, or <a href="http://questforadequacy.blogspot.com/search/label/Recording">the recording process</a>, I can point them to posts I have written over the years.<br />
<br />
One thing I did not expect when I started blogging was the people I would meet through it. Some of my dear friends and peers in ministry are people that I first met online, because we read each others' posts. The <a href="http://www.quakerquaker.org/">Quaker blogosphere</a> has changed a lot since I first started—back then, we used to follow each others' blogs and comment on posts; now, most of those conversations happens on social media. I am grateful for the online community that I found and the relationships that have strengthened over time.<br />
<br />
Even though I do not write as much as I once did, I am glad to have this small online platform when I do have something to say. The quote in my header has challenged me to look at "the nature of all things"—the good and the bad—and face those things head on. I am thankful for all of the people who have read and commented, online and in person. These conversations have been encouraging and helped to keep me accountable as I continue on this quest.Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-68739726416360752032015-03-31T16:29:00.000-04:002015-03-31T16:50:16.637-04:00Gathered Meeting Retreat<style>
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<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lesson Plan</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This is a lesson plan for
Atlanta Friends Meeting’s Gathered Meeting Retreat, which will take place on
March 27-29, 2015.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My goal for the
retreat is to introduce people in the meeting to some of the different ways
that Friends worship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope that by
talking about different forms of worship and spiritual practices, Friends in
the meeting will expand their understanding of worship, have a larger
vocabulary for talking about worship and spiritual experiences, and deepen our
communal experience of the unprogrammed worship that we practice at Atlanta
Friends Meeting.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friday evening: Introductions (7:00-9:00pm)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Introduction: theme, take care of yourself, what
we will be doing</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Opening circle questions (ask people to say
their name and stand while speaking):</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>What is one thing that you love about Friends?</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>What is one thing that you brought with
you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One thing you left behind?</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Why are you here?</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Names for the divine exercise</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Introduction to worship sharing (handout)</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Small groups</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Introductions</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Query: How is the Spirit with you?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Saturday morning: Prayer (9:00am-12:00pm)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Introduction to prayer – expansive, holding in
the Light, go where they haven’t gone</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Anne Lamott’s prayer: help, thanks, wow</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>“Thanks,” by W. S. Merwin</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Psalm 16</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Embodied prayer</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>breathing prayer</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>body prayer</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>doodle prayer (show on a flip chart)</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>mandalas</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>labyrinths/walks</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>prayer postures (holding in the Light) – to your
ability</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Break</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Stations of the Lord’s Prayer – a
Christ-centered activity (useful, educational, optional!)</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>alternative: mandalas</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>debrief</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>close with singing prayer: Simple Gifts</div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Worships sharing</div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>pray together</div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Query:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When you pray, how do you pray?</div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Small groups: pray for each other (be clear
about boundaries, participate to your comfort level)</div>
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Saturday afternoon: Experiences in Worship (3:00-5:30pm)</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Worship</div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Small groups</div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Query: Was there a time when you felt the Spirit
moving in worship?</div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Fishbowl </div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>People who often speak in meeting: What does it
feel like when you give vocal ministry?</div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>People who speak less often: How do you
experience worship?</div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Conversation for the group</div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>What is the strangest thing you or another
person has felt led to do during worship?</div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>What is vocal ministry?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where does it come from?</div>
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Sunday morning: Worship (9:30am-12:00pm)</div>
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<br /></div>
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</span></span></span>Semi-programmed worship: singing, gratitudes,
petitions</div>
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</span></span></span>Bible reading in the manner of Ohio YM
Conservative Friends – introduce, can use other sacred texts</div>
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Break</div>
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</span></span></span>Worship</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
In this retreat, a
lot of the activities are focused around queries.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a typical Friends practice, but it
also reflects my understanding of religious education as not coming primarily
from the teacher.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By responding to the
queries, the people at the retreat are drawing on their own inner wisdom and
bringing responses that are more diverse and profound than I could by
lecturing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Particularly in the section
on prayer, I offer many different practices, but I trust that people will
choose the practices that are best for them.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
The activities in
this retreat also reflect my emphasis on the body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wherever I can, I have people participate in
ways that get them moving and reflecting on their own bodies in worship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In addition, the majority of the sessions are
experiential.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do not just want people
to hear about worship, I want them to experience it themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope that in all of this, we will have the
experience of God teaching us, directly and through everyone in the room.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">II.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Reflection</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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A joy for me in
leading this retreat was how well integrated the children’s program was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes in retreats like this, the
children’s program can feel like childcare or an afterthought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was not responsible for the children’s
program, but the woman who was leading the children called me to discuss what I
was planning to cover and we talked about how that could be adapted for the
children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, both adults and
children considered prayer practices on Saturday morning, and the children made
a mural entitled “How Do We Pray?” that we later put up in the main room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The program on Friday night and Sunday
morning had intergenerational aspects, and everyone came together for the
Variety Show on Saturday night.</div>
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<br /></div>
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The first
frustration that I experienced was with the schedule.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did not have much control over the
schedule; the planning committee just told me which blocks of time I had to
provide content.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately, meals
only lasted an hour and the committee scheduled the program to begin exactly
when the meals ended (i.e., breakfast was from 8:00 to 9:00 and the morning
program was scheduled to begin at 9:00).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This meant that I was rushed trying to get to the room where we were
meeting and that everyone else was late.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I spoke with a member of the committee about this and suggested that
next year, they schedule at least 15 minutes between the end of meals and
program.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Another
thing that was hard for me was that we had different people in nearly every
session.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A few came to everything, but
many were unable to arrive until late on Friday, some left early because they
were sick, and some were taking this as a real retreat rather than coming to
the program.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I expected some of this,
and made it explicit that the program elements were optional.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Combined with people arriving late to
sessions, however, this made it challenging to know when to start or how many
people to expect, and it led to some lack of cohesion in the group.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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My response to
both of these issues was to begin with 15 minutes of silent worship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This worked pretty well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our practice in unprogrammed meetings is that
the meeting begins when the first person sits in worship, and others enter into
that silence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By being on time myself
and sitting in silence, I was able to invite others into worship and signal
that we had started the program.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
I got some good
feedback over the weekend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One person
said that I had done a good job redirecting back to the topic at hand when
others tried to change the subject.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There were a few times when people brought up areas that could have
derailed the conversation and the program, but I was able to step in and remind
Friends to come back to the theme.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Another person commented that she had never seen a retreat leader leave
the room the way I did during small group discussions (and other times).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was intentional: I find that when I am
in the room, a lot of the focus is on me, and it is helpful for me to leave
when I want participants to talk to each other.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Even </span>though it was a lot of work, I really had a
good time leading this retreat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was
fun for me to share worship practices with my faith community, and it was a
different experience to do a retreat for people that I already know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We got to know each other better, and I know
that we will continue to be in relationship with each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This also provided an opportunity for me to
reflect on how I have grown in ministry and leadership.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had led almost all of the activities
before, but I felt more relaxed and confident than I have in the past, and I
think that made it a better experience for everyone.<br />
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Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-2450070979959151132015-03-02T06:41:00.000-05:002015-03-02T06:41:56.738-05:00The Problem With "Coming Out Christian"<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">My entire life, I have seen Christians act like they are a persecuted minority. Beginning in Sunday school and then youth group, people would tell us that we would be persecuted by society (or maybe communists) for our beliefs, and we, the mighty few, would have to stand up for our Christian faith in the face of that persecution.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The thing is, Christians in the U.S. are not a minority, let alone a persecuted one. We are the majority, numerically and culturally. Schools take breaks around our holidays, prayers in public spaces are almost always in our tradition, and nearly every U.S. president has been Christian.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Recently, I have seen a couple articles online in which people "come out" as Christian. This is troubling for me for a number of reasons, and one is that I think it feeds into this narrative of Christians as a persecuted minority by co-opting the language of LGBTQ people. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The writers say that "coming out" as Christian feels risky for them. That may be true, but it is not risky in the way that actually
coming out as LGBTQ is. These writers are not at risk of being <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/thomas-krever/my-family-kicked-me-out-for-being-gay_b_6142026.html">rejected by their families</a>, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/30/fired-for-being-gay_n_6076492.html">losing their jobs</a>, or having a <a href="http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/facts-about-suicide">higher likelihood of suicide</a>
because they "come out" as Christian.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">A few days ago, I had a conversation with another queer Christian, one who is
not out. He said that hiding is destroying him, but he is afraid of how
his family will respond that that he will lose his job. He said, "I
spend most of my time alone. I just don't know who I can trust." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">This
is what coming out really means for many LGBTQ people (including LGBTQ
Christians). I am not comfortable with Christians appropriating that
language for other purposes.</span>Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-34794070533348347022015-02-28T10:44:00.000-05:002015-02-28T10:44:37.717-05:00Kelly On My Mind<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I met Kelly Gissendaner a year and a half ago, when I was on a tour of Lee Arrendale State Prison. As part of our contextual education at <a href="http://candler.emory.edu/">Candler School of Theology</a>, a group of my classmates and I would be spending four hours a week at Lee Arrendale as chaplain interns. We were touring the prison before receiving our specific assignments.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Kelly greeted us with a smile. As the only woman on death row, she was isolated from other prisoners, and she enjoyed having visitors. She showed us the baby blankets she had been crocheting to donate outside the prison, and she was excited that the prison administration was going to allow her to have knitting needles, so she could relearn how to knit.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I was assigned to a different part of the prison, so I didn't see Kelly again, but I would hear about her. How her favorite theologian is Jürgen Moltmann, and they are pen pals. How Moltmann came when she earned her certificate from the Theological Studies Program in prison. How she encouraged other inmates and challenged my classmates with her theological insights.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tvCdCIeR3JM/VPHcsvl7liI/AAAAAAAAAnY/uuOqpYRHKnI/s1600/IMG_0512.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tvCdCIeR3JM/VPHcsvl7liI/AAAAAAAAAnY/uuOqpYRHKnI/s1600/IMG_0512.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Last month, I ran into Chaplain Bishop, my supervisor in the prison. She asked me, with tears in her eyes, to pray for Ms. Kelly. Her clemency hearing before the Board of Parole was coming up, and if they denied clemency, she would be executed. My classmates and I prayed. People wrote letters and testified on Kelly's behalf at the hearing. We held vigils and waited for news.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3BNwfU8UvLw/VPHdKyJQ6iI/AAAAAAAAAng/aXdce2__xBw/s1600/IMG_0513.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3BNwfU8UvLw/VPHdKyJQ6iI/AAAAAAAAAng/aXdce2__xBw/s1600/IMG_0513.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">When the news came that the board had denied clemency, it was shocking. People at Candler were devastated, and I can only imagine how those at Lee Arrendale felt. Kelly was scheduled to be executed last Wednesday, but due to bad weather, her execution has been postponed until Monday.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I don't know Kelly well, but I know Lee Arrendale. I know the fences with barbed wire and the locked gates. I know how the buildings and the inmates' uniforms blend together, until it seems like the entire world is a monotonous sea of khaki. I have sat with women as they grieved over the deaths of family members, worried about their children and grandchildren, and counted the days until they could leave.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Some studies have shown that over 80 percent of women in prison have experienced physical or sexual abuse before being incarcerated. Unfortunately, Kelly is included in that number. These women do not need the state to add to their experience of trauma and violence. They need people to hear their stories, see them, and know who they are.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fYcvM7AbY_U/VPHe642W6TI/AAAAAAAAAns/Xj2Yk8VCeuQ/s1600/IMG_0511.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fYcvM7AbY_U/VPHe642W6TI/AAAAAAAAAns/Xj2Yk8VCeuQ/s1600/IMG_0511.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I do not want Kelly to be a martyr. I do not want her to be a rallying point for a political cause. I just want them not to kill her.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">More information about Kelly Gissendaner</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">New York Times, <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/28/us/a-death-row-inmate-finds-common-ground-with-theologians.html">A Death Row Inmate Finds Common Ground with Theologians</a> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Huffington Post, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/melissa-browning-phd/meeting-kelly-gissendaner_b_6767006.html">Meeting Kelly Gissendaner</a> and <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alisha-l-gordon-med/when-is-grace-enough_b_6754666.html">When Is Grace Enough?</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3cKLw1GiAX9R3J1bFpwUzhxX0E/view?pli=1"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Kelly Gissendaner's Clemency Application</span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The hashtag on Twitter and Facebook for Kelly is <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23kellyonmymind&src=typd">#kellyonmymind</a></span>Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-11497044711117722592015-01-11T15:40:00.001-05:002015-01-11T15:40:45.558-05:00Recorded Minister Report for 2014<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and
pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your
welfare.” Jeremiah 29:7.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"></span></span></blockquote>
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EqgNYNztoMU/VLLbffpCXdI/AAAAAAAAAmc/ymlddNR1ODc/s1600/IMG_0227.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EqgNYNztoMU/VLLbffpCXdI/AAAAAAAAAmc/ymlddNR1ODc/s1600/IMG_0227.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">A lot of my ministry this year has been connected to <a href="http://candler.emory.edu/">Candler School of Theology</a>, where I am halfway through the three-year M.Div. program. I
completed my second semester of contextual education working as a
chaplain intern at Lee Arrendale State Prison in the spring semester.
It was good and challenging work. A highlight for me was leading music
at a Good Friday service with two of the women in prison. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I am doing my second year of contextual
education in <a href="http://atlanta.quaker.org/">Atlanta Friends Meeting</a>. I spend eight hours a week
focusing on five areas of ministry: administration, liturgy (worship and
preaching), mission and outreach, pastoral calling and congregational
care, and teaching. These categories do not always fit exactly in the
context of an unprogrammed Friends meeting, but I have been able to find
ways to engage with the meeting in each area. For example, I am on the
Ministry and Worship committee, I started a monthly meeting for worship
at Candler, and I facilitated a panel on sexuality and Quaker identity.
I have also enjoyed providing pastoral care for some of the youngest
Friends in the meeting.<br /><br />At school, I am serving as the chaplain
of <a href="https://www.facebook.com/CandlerSacredWorth?ref=br_tf">Sacred Worth</a> (Candler’s student group for LGBTQ students and allies).
As chaplain, I am on the executive board and I hold office hours and
have a confidential email. I enjoy meeting with people and helping to
build this community within Candler. In the fall semester, I was a
discussion leader for Early Church History, which felt like another
opportunity to provide pastoral care for seminary students.<br /><br />As
the only Quaker at Candler I find myself representing Friends often. In
the past year, I have taken a number of classes that have helped me
discern my direction in ministry and have given me tools for the work
ahead, including Nonprofit Leadership and Management, Sexuality in the
Bible, and Discernment for a Sustained Life of Ministry. I especially
enjoyed my Preaching in a Secular Age class this past fall, where I was
able to give a message out of open worship in the manner of Friends,
working with an elder.<br /><br />I also had the opportunity to travel quite
a bit this year. In February, I spent a long weekend in Philadelphia
observing a <a href="http://www.friendsjournal.org/">Friends Journal</a> board meeting. While I was there, I got to
spend time with several Friends and Jon W interviewed me for the
<a href="http://quakerspeak.com/">QuakerSpeak</a> project (I was featured in the QuakerSpeak video “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RB1uZcl49QE">Quakers and Women in Ministry</a>” and a Friends Journal <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwT1cP0IuR8">video on my recording process</a>). In April, I gave the Friday night message for <a href="http://fwccamericas.org/">Friends World Committee for Consultation</a>’s <a href="http://fwccamericas.org/events/2014-Consultations.shtml">Living Waters Consultation</a> in High Point,
NC. It was a joy to work with Deborah S as my elder and I felt very
supported and welcomed by Friends there.<br /><br />I spent the summer
living with my parents in Anchorage, working at a law firm. It was
great to be able to spend time with my family there, especially my
nieces and nephew and grandparents. In June, I visited Washington and
Oregon for a few weeks, and was able to see many f/Friends and family.
At the end of the trip, I went to the <a href="http://www.pnwquakerwomen.org/conference/">Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s Theology Conference</a>, where I led a workshop on prayer. Later in the
summer, I visited Friends in Fairbanks and worshiped with <a href="https://www.quakercloud.org/cloud/alaska-friends-conference/pages/chena-ridge-friends-meeting-fairbanks">Chena Ridge Friends Meeting</a>. I also worshiped with <a href="http://www.fgcquaker.org/connect/quaker-finder/anchorage-friends-meeting">Anchorage Friends Meeting</a>. On
my way back to Atlanta in August, I visited family in Oakland. In
October, I visited Friends in Nashville and attended <a href="http://ncymc.org/">North Carolina Yearly Meeting (Conservative)</a> Interim Body Meeting. Although it was
wonderful to see friends and family in all of these places, I was aware
that, no matter where I go, I will be far from people I love.<br /><br />I
published an article in the March issue of Friends Journal called
“Sending Forth: The Importance of Financial Support in Ministry.” I
have also continued posting on my blog, though most of my writing this
year has been for class assignments.<br /><br />My self-care this year has
been good. I see a spiritual director and a therapist regularly, and I
have an anchoring committee through Atlanta Friends Meeting that is
currently serving as my site supervisors for contextual education. Over
spring break, I went on a silent retreat at Green Bough House of
Prayer. One of my favorite things this year has been monthly gatherings
for Atlanta Beer and Hymns (recently <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2014/12/05/beer-evangelists-spread-gospel-at-bars/">featured on Fox News</a>!). I have
continued spiritual practices of prayer, reading the Bible, and
exercise, and added drawing and coloring mandalas.<br /><br />Looking ahead,
I am planning to lead the Atlanta Friends Meeting Gathered Meeting
Retreat in March. I also hope to spend the summer in Greensboro, NC, as
an intern with <a href="http://www.firstfriendsmeeting.org/">First Friends Meeting</a>. I am aware that I have been
moving a lot and I am often on the edges of various groups, and I am
feeling ready to find a place to settle for a while after I finish
school. I am grateful to Friends at <a href="http://freedomfriends.org/">Freedom Friends Church</a> and Atlanta
Friends Meeting for your support for my ministry, as well as the support
and prayers I receive from so many others.</span></span>Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-5242502288472241412014-12-31T13:35:00.000-05:002014-12-31T13:35:06.833-05:00Give Quakers Your Money<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">It's the end of the year and you know what that means: lots of emails from Quaker nonprofit organizations asking for end-of-the-year contributions. I mentioned this on Twitter today and my friend <a href="http://teebd.wordpress.com/">Kathy H</a> suggested I "do a a year-end blog post reviewing year-end appeals from Quaker organizations." </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I don't think I'm up for writing reviews, but I can make a list! Here are quotes from the Friends organizations I've heard from in the last week. Click on the name of the organization to donate.</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><a href="https://www.paypal.com/us/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_flow&SESSION=Mw76NopNDJoKgLrljGob5OV9V-Zus90l6-VUIktDKmoRQh0ViTz9qwGsCa4&dispatch=5885d80a13c0db1f8e263663d3faee8d66f31424b43e9a70645c907a6cbd8fb4">School of the Spirit</a>: Your donation will help "the new Core Teaching team . . . to meet together as they prepare for the next <a href="http://schoolofthespirit.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Full-Program-Guide-082614.pdf">On Being a Spiritual Nurturer</a> class." </span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><a href="http://www.quakervoluntaryservice.org/donatenow/">Quaker Voluntary Service</a>: "Your support is vital in creating opportunities for Spirit-led witness, in the long tradition of Quaker service. We are raising funds to support the QVS programs in Atlanta, Philadelphia, and Portland."</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><a href="http://www.friendsjournal.org/donate/?utm_source=aweber&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=yearend2014">Friends Journal</a>: "Your tax-deductible online gift will help Friends Journal continue to be a unifying and empowering force for Friends." </span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><a href="https://www.chi-cash-advance.com/sforms/appeal1133/contribute.aspx?utm_source=Last+chance+appeal+2014&utm_campaign=last+call+2014&utm_medium=email">Friends World Committee for Consultation</a>: "Answering God's call to universal love, the Friends World Committee brings Friends of varying traditions and cultural experiences together in worship, communications and consultation, to express our common heritage and our Quaker message to the world." </span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><a href="https://www.fgcquaker.org/donate">Friends General Conference</a>: "From the Gathering to the Quaker Cloud, from the New Meetings Project to Quaker Quest, together we’ve done so much to build and strengthen the Religious Society of Friends." </span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><a href="https://www.pendlehill.org/support/your-support-matters/contact-support-one-time-donation/">Pendle Hill</a>: "Contributions allow us to provide experiences that inspire leadership, service, spiritual enrichment, and action for peace and justice." </span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><a href="https://salsa3.salsalabs.com/o/50601/p/salsa/donation/common/public/?donate_page_KEY=8916&tag=YE8">American Friends Service Committee</a>: "Help build peace, push for immigrant rights, address prison issues, end discrimination, and advocate for just economies."</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">And, as always, I highly recommend giving money to <a href="http://freedomfriends.org/FF-Donations.htm">Freedom Friends Church</a>. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Happy new year, Friends! </span>Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-82244446680903512852014-12-03T19:09:00.000-05:002014-12-03T19:09:11.961-05:00Sexuality and Quaker Identity
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--></style><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">For my project for my Sexuality in the Bible class, I facilitated a panel at Atlanta Friends Meeting after meeting for worship on November 30, 2014. The format was to have three Friends on the panel share for 10-15 minutes each about how their sexuality (defined broadly to include sexual orientation, gender identity, marital status, and anything else that seemed relevant) has impacted their faith life and their Quaker identity. After the panel, I invited the rest of the people in the room to join the conversation in worship sharing: speaking out of the silence from their own experience in response to the query, “How has your sexuality impacted your Quaker identity?” </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /> I initially hoped to have the forum on the last Sunday in October, but there was another event scheduled for that time. It was a little challenging to find people for the panel on the Sunday after Thanksgiving, but I eventually found three people who were willing: “Anna,” a gender-nonconforming woman in her early 20s who identifies as queer, “Bruce,” a gay man in his late 50s, and “Mia,” a lesbian woman in her early 50s. I did not intend to have only queer-identified people on the panel (I had hoped to have at least one straight person!), but those were the people I found who were willing to participate. There were 22 people present for the panel, ranging in age from 20s to 70s, queer and straight, some married and some not. I invited the teens in the meeting, but none of them decided to come. <br /><br /> Anna spoke first. She grew up as a Quaker and spent several years questioning her sexual orientation and gender identity. She came out as queer in college, and her family and faith community were supportive. She is still questioning her gender identity, but is comfortable with female pronouns and with calling herself a gender-nonconforming woman. Anna said that she was glad to have grown up among Friends, who allowed her to be whoever she was. She was active in the gay/straight alliance in her high school and appreciated all of the support that Quakers offered to LGBT teens. She thinks it was helpful for her as she questioned her own identity, even though she had not yet come out. She feels that her identity as a Quaker is more central for her than her identity as queer or gender-nonconforming, and that has given her something to hold on to even as she questioned other parts of her identity. She also feels like her questions about identity have led her to what she wants to do with her life. She plans to apply to graduate school next year and would like to focus on the intersection of identity and environmental studies, particularly looking at individuals’ narratives. <br /><br /> Bruce spoke next. He talked about how grateful he is that he can now have easy conversations with family members about his partner, in part because his parents have passed away. His father was very conservative and left the Episcopal church over the ordination of women. Bruce was always very politically liberal, and he thinks the fights that he had with his father about politics were really a front for the conversation they did not have about Bruce’s sexual orientation. Bruce knew from a young age that he was attracted to men, but he prayed that God would take those feelings away. He laughed that God always answers prayer, but not always in the way that you want! Bruce said that, even ten years ago, he would have changed that part of himself, but now he sees it as an opportunity for ministry. He has experienced feeling like an outsider, which made him more compassionate, and he is able to share with others about his sexual orientation. Bruce told us how he sat on a nine-hour flight next to a Mormon man who had never met an openly gay man. A week later, the Mormon man sent him a copy of the Book of Mormon with a note saying that their conversation had given him a lot to think about. Bruce felt like it was an opportunity for both of them to learn. <br /><br /> Mia spoke last, and she began with an explanation of how she uses the word “God.” She struggles with saying “God” because it seems male and white to her, but she still uses it because everyone knows what it means. She is not sure whether she believes in God, but she does believe in that of God in everyone. That is the basis for her understanding of sexuality. It is a recognition of that of God in everyone, and sex is a meeting of that Spirit in two people. She feels like her identity as a lesbian and a woman are much less important than her identity as a Friend. Mia is involved with the high school program at the meeting and has taught First Day School in the past. She tries to bring this sense of identity to her teaching and help her students recognize that of God in everyone they meet. <br /><br /> When I opened up the discussion for worship sharing, several Friends spoke. One woman quoted Romans 12:2, “Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your spirit.” She said that, as a straight woman, she had mostly conformed to the expectations of her culture, but having a friend who struggled with her lesbian identity to the point of being suicidal helped open her eyes to the diversity of sexual identities and the pain that the society cause to those who did not conform. Another woman talked about how she grew up during the sexual revolution, when it seemed like everything was permissible, but her experience was that a lot of people got hurt through sexual encounters, emotionally or physically (particularly during the AIDS epidemic). What she took away from that experience was that sex was a powerful thing that must be engaged in carefully. <br /><br /> A theme in the sharing was how to talk about sex and sexuality with the children in the community in an age-appropriate way. There was a desire to do so, but some questions about how. I shared that, having grown up in purity culture, I know that a lot of girls do not learn that sex should be pleasurable. I said that I hope the meeting can talk about how sex is a powerful thing, but also a source of pleasure, joy, and connection. One woman reflected how glad she was that two of the people on the panel had come out in environments that were supportive of their sexual orientations. She expressed the hope that the meeting could be a place for children to be who they are, LGBT or straight, and be supported as they question, evolve, and grow. <br /><br /> I was very pleased with how the panel and conversation went, and I got a lot of good feedback from the panel members and those who attended the panel. After we concluded, people stayed to talk with each other about the topics that arose. I think that there will be ongoing conversations in the meeting about sexual identity and Quaker identity, and it seems like there may be more thought and work on a sexual education curriculum for children based on these conversations.</span>Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-24280595229643333592014-10-10T18:13:00.000-04:002014-10-10T18:43:54.591-04:00Sex Without Love<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Last winter, I had sex with a man a few times. We weren't dating, really, though we went out to dinner occasionally. For reasons that are unimportant here, we both knew that the relationship had no future. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">But there was heat. I didn't want him to be my boyfriend, but he smelled great, I liked the way he tasted, and when he touched me, I melted.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">We had conversations about what it all meant, and agreed that we weren't committed to each other or even exclusive. But sometimes, when we were out in public, he would put his arm around me. I would awkwardly shrug my way out of it. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I knew he felt hurt, but I still didn't want to make what we were doing public. I said that it was because I was new here, and thought that it was because I knew it wasn't going to last.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I've been thinking about this again recently, and realized why I didn't want him to be affectionate in public. We were doing <i>exactly the same thing</i>, but it made him a stud and it made me a slut. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Fuck purity culture.</span>Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-48962576007200442402014-09-27T14:43:00.000-04:002014-09-27T14:57:43.818-04:00Don't Tell Me to Smile<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-38UFZkTULUg/VCcDs6HxFgI/AAAAAAAAAlM/r8BV1wKtEao/s1600/Screen%2BShot%2B2014-09-27%2Bat%2B2.36.08%2BPM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-38UFZkTULUg/VCcDs6HxFgI/AAAAAAAAAlM/r8BV1wKtEao/s1600/Screen%2BShot%2B2014-09-27%2Bat%2B2.36.08%2BPM.png" height="152" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I got into an extended conversation yesterday on Facebook about street harassment. I mentioned that I have had some recent experiences with men (yes, grown men) yelling at me from cars. I added, "And don't even get me started on men telling me to smile."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">A man who I know to be kind and thoughtful asked what was wrong with telling a woman to smile. The following is a slightly edited version of my response:</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Thanks for the question! When I said don't get me started, it's because I have so much to say about this. I am happy to respond and point you toward some other sources.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Men telling women to smile is a problem for a lot of reasons. One is that if I am not smiling in a public place, I might have a good reason. Maybe my sister is in the hospital, or I just got fired, or I was just thinking about something.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">But when a man I don't know tells me to smile, I have to stop thinking about whatever it was I was thinking about and engage him. I have to either smile for him, even if I don't want to, or I have to refuse. I have to decide how badly he might respond. Will he get mad? Is it possible he could attack me?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">In the end, it is a form of body control. It reinforces the idea that I am not out in public for myself, but to be pretty for men. It may seem like a small thing, but when it happens often, it is pretty demoralizing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">In sum, strangers are not entitled to my body, my time, or my attention.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">My friend, Monika T, added:</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The thing is, telling someone to smile is telling them what to do and how to feel. And you would be astounded how many men regard women that way. Its insidious and pervasive. Every time I go into the city, I have to devote some of my mental energy and focus to assessing who might harass me, and how they might react if I push back. This happens often if not always on my way to class, when I have better things to be thinking about.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> There are some wonderful videos illustrating how ridiculous and awful telling women to smile is, such as this one called <a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/3c88a32155/smile">Smile</a>, and this one from <a href="http://stoptellingwomentosmile.com/">Stop Telling Women to Smile</a>:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" mozallowfullscreen="" src="//player.vimeo.com/video/91678581" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="500"></iframe><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">This morning, I saw that I was not the only one thinking or writing about this issue yesterday! Here is a wonderful article about street harassment: <a href="http://www.avclub.com/article/youre-good-looking-girl-i-want-attack-you-209697">You're a Good-Looking Girl . . . I Want to Attack You</a>. Cameron Esposito sums it up well:</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I do not care if you think I am beautiful. Your feedback or evaluation
isn’t needed. I also do not care if you think I am not beautiful. Your
feedback or evaluation isn’t needed there either.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I am grateful for the men who engaged in this conversation. If men are concerned about this issue and looking for ways to help, here are <a href="http://www.xojane.com/issues/feminism-men-practical-steps">35 Practical Steps Men Can Take to Support Feminism</a>.</span> Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-63174228496678779742014-09-19T09:00:00.000-04:002014-09-19T09:00:01.839-04:00Pastoral Authority in Unprogrammed Friends<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">[<i>As part of my second year in a Master of Divinity program at <a href="http://candler.emory.edu/">Candler School of Theology</a>, I am required to spend eight hours a week in an ecclesial setting. My site is <a href="http://atlanta.quaker.org/">Atlanta Friends Meeting</a>, where I am a sojourning member. This week, in the class connected with that site work, we were asked to interview our site mentor about his or her views on pastoral authority and leadership. These are my reflections on our conversation.</i>]</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">When I interviewed my site mentor, Paul B, about his understanding
of pastoral authority and leadership, we agreed that it is a tricky
question for unprogrammed Friends. In my site, Atlanta Friends Meeting
(AFM), there is no pastoral staff. Paul stated that the pastoral nature
of Quakerism is that the community cares for itself instead of having a
designated pastor or minister to provide care. Thus, every Friend has
an obligation to support the community.<br /><br />At AFM, we do have a
committee that focuses on pastoral care, the Care and Counsel committee.
That committee is made up of people who choose to be on it and serve
for a designated term. The committee draws people who are gifted in
pastoral care, but they are not the only people who provide pastoral
care in the meeting. One of the tensions in an unprogrammed meeting is
how to hold (mostly) volunteers accountable. Having people rotate off
the committee after their term is one way to do that.<br /><br />As we
spoke, the primary metaphor that Paul used for pastoral care was the
body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:27). Christ is the head of our meeting
and we are the body. Within that body, people care for each other and
provide care as needed. Friends are resistant to the idea of authority,
other than the authority that comes from the Holy Spirit, but we do
recognize the need for leadership.<br /><br />Three committees in AFM cover
three of the roles that a pastor traditionally fills. Care and Counsel
provides pastoral care as described above. The Ministry and Worship
committee focuses on the worship within the meeting and attends to
things like weddings, support for ministry, and applications for
membership (I serve on the Ministry and Worship committee). We also
have a Social Concerns committee, which connects the meeting to the
larger community context and does outreach.<br /><br />Reflecting on this
conversation, I agree that the body of Christ is a very good metaphor
for pastoral care in a Friends meeting. I also realized that my
personal metaphor for ministry has been the story of Peter’s shadow
falling on people and healing them (Acts 5:15). In that story, if
Peter’s shadow is behind him as he walks, he will never know whom he is
healing.<br /><br />I have been a public minister among Friends for over six
years now, and in that time I have lived in four different cities.
Each time I moved, I felt like God was calling me to the next place,
but it has been very hard for me. I feel like I have been planting
seeds in ministry, but I do not get to stay long enough to see how they
grow or if they bear fruit. I have to trust that God is working through
me even as I move on.<br /><br />Having a year to spend deeply involved in
the life of the meeting at AFM feels like a gift. My site mentors and I
are still discerning what ministry will look like for me in this
context, but I know that there are needs in the meeting and that I have
gifts to bring. I am also grateful that I will not be doing this work
alone. We have a well-developed committee structure with many people
bringing their time, gifts, and skills to support this community of
Friends.</span>Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-18985050758245671032014-09-15T07:24:00.000-04:002014-09-16T19:02:11.868-04:00Recording Resources<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">A few weeks ago, a Friend wrote me asking if I knew of any resources about the Quaker process for recording ministers. He said he was new to this, and it had been hard to find resources online. I compiled a list of resources for him, and thought it might be useful for others as well.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">My home meeting, Freedom Friends Church, has <a href="http://freedomfriends.org/FF-Recorded.htm">a page of resources on recorded ministry</a>.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Here is a YouTube video of me talking about my recording process with <a href="http://www.friendsjournal.org/">Friends Journal</a>:</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/qwT1cP0IuR8?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I also posted quite a bit about the process </span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">of being recorded on my blog under the <a href="http://questforadequacy.blogspot.com/search/label/Recording">Recording label</a>, as well as sharing</span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> stories from other women who have been recorded as ministers.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Steven Davidson wrote about some of the objections to <span class="il">recording</span> in an article called <a href="http://www.nyym.org/?q=Spark_November_2012#davison">Recording Gifts of Ministry</a> in New York Yearly Meeting's Spark. (See also <a href="http://www.nyym.org/?q=Spark_November_2012#resources">Resources on Ministry</a>.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I highly recommend Brian Drayton's book <a href="http://www.quakerbooks.org/on_living_with_a_concern_for_gospel_ministry.php">On Living with a Concern for Gospel Ministry</a>. The whole book is excellent, but he talks specifically about his experience of being a <span class="il">recorded</span> minister and reporting back to his meeting in Appendix 1 and 2.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Are there other resources you would recommend, Friends? </span>Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-82712901644391131332014-07-15T10:32:00.001-04:002014-07-15T10:32:27.584-04:00The Middle<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"How is it with you in your call?"</span></i></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The question came from a woman I had just met at the <a href="http://www.pnwquakerwomen.org/conference/">Pacific Northwest Quaker Women's Theology Conference</a>. It took me by surprise, but after I thought for a moment, I said that there had been a lot of energy at the conference around beginning the journey, and that is not where I am. I feel like I am on the path, but just plodding along.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The call to ministry is exciting and sexy. Trying to live a life of ongoing faithfulness is not.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have been a public Friend for six years now. Not long compared to some, but long enough to get past the initial excitement of the call. Sometimes ministry is exciting, sometimes it is horrible, and sometimes it is just a slog.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have found that, once Friends are on board with the idea of ministry, there is a lot more focus on getting started than on the tools we need for a sustained life of ministry. I hope that those of us who are doing this work can find ways to encourage each other in the middle and along the way.</span>Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-5694908860753305742014-06-29T18:05:00.000-04:002014-06-29T18:05:51.978-04:00Quaker Fame<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"You might say they are going through fame puberty—the awkward stage." Nick Paumgarten</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">For the past year, I have been going to Quaker events and hiding. I <a href="http://questforadequacy.blogspot.com/2013/07/fgc-gathering-report.html">wrote about this a little after the FGC Gathering last year</a> (where I actually started carrying around a disguise). I said then that I was having a hard time with my rising level of "Quaker celebrity." It is something that is still a struggle for me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Few things will throw me off center at a Quaker event faster than when someone knows who I am and I have no idea who they are. A Friend will introduce me in conversation and the other person's face will light up. I feel dread because I know they have read something I have written, or heard me speak, or heard about me some other way. I never know what to do, and any response on my part feels awkward and ungracious.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I read the quote above in the New Yorker a few days ago and it spoke to my condition. I feel like I have been going through an extended fame puberty. Fortunately, I have been able to speak about this with some trusted elders over the past few months, and they have given me some good advice:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>1. I need to find ways to acknowledge that God is working through me when I do ministry. </b> It is especially awkward for me when people compliment me on a message I have given, because I feel strongly that those messages come from God. At heart, my ministry is to help people experience the presence of God. When they experience God through me, it can be a <a href="http://questforadequacy.blogspot.com/2013/07/fgc-gathering-vocal-ministry.html">powerful and attractive experience</a>. It is important for me to be clear that I am the conduit, not the source.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>2. If I keep doing this work, this will keep happening.</b> I think part of the reason that I respond so poorly is because I act like every time I am recognized, it is the first time or totally unexpected. I need to stop acting that way and start putting together a toolkit for how to respond when this happens.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>3. I need to find a Quaker space that is restorative for me.</b> A couple people have encouraged me to find somewhere that I can go not as a minister, but to worship and rest. This may involve sending a message to the organizers in advance about my needs and how I want to participate.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">All of this is complicated by the fact that Friends pretend like we don't have celebrities. It is very hard to claim a level of fame when Quakers want to believe that we are all equal in every way. But I think it is important to do so for me to be able to grow out of this "fame puberty," and I am going to claim this:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>I am a minor celebrity in a small denomination.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">How did it make you feel to read that? Was it funny? Did it seem like not a big deal? Or did it make you want to reassure me that, really, I'm not that famous?</span>Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-2424196452654992262014-06-25T21:31:00.001-04:002014-06-25T21:31:11.756-04:00Epistle<div align="center" style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-size: 16px; line-height: 23.940000534057617px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 15px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Epistle of the 2014<br /><a href="http://www.pnwquakerwomen.org/conference/">Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s Theology Conference</a><br />June 11-15, 2014<br />Menucha Retreat Center, Corbett, Oregon</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Greeting to Friends Everywhere:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We are 77 women who have come together from North Pacific Yearly Meeting, Northwest Yearly Meeting, Freedom Friends Church, and meetings further afield. Our theme this year was “Wilt Thou Go on My Journey?” To prepare for the conference, each woman wrote a short reflection paper on the conference theme and quotes from Luke 9:2-4, Isaiah 6:9, and from two women who traveled in the Quaker ministry: Nancy Hawkins and Caroline Stephen. We read each other’s papers and discussed them within our home groups: small groups of women who met throughout the conference to share with each other their stories with confidentiality, great trust, and vulnerability.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We met to worship together in unprogrammed worship, plenary sessions, workshops, community activities, worship for business, and semi-programmed worship. Each day we explored a different aspect or topic related to spiritual journeys: Welcoming, Clearness of Calling, Doubt and Fear on the Journey, Deepening Faith, and Journeying Together.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Through workshops, including workshops on writing, songs, movement, and prayer, we explored ways to reflect on, express, and share our journeys with each other, moving past our fears about being judged based on our differences. We felt great trust in this group and were able to shed our reluctance to expose our fears and joys to each other. We celebrated what we found in common and explored what was new to us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We used forms of worship that were new to most of us from both programmed and unprogrammed meetings, including chanting and worshipful movement. We found these forms to be powerful ways to move into worship together. Spirit-led, spontaneous acapella singing enriched our worship and community.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">During a powerful gathered meeting, we supported those who were trembling, weeping, and quaking and encouraged them to speak. We talked with each other about our roots as Quakers and about how our traditions have splintered so that none of us has a complete experience. We heard from the Lord a call to help bring those pieces back together that can help us create a new mosaic that honors the many facets of our different traditions.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We committed to organize this conference again in two years’ time and to invite more women from the evangelical traditions.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We asked ourselves what we would bring with us from this conference. We were invited to take the things we had heard and experienced and allow them to change us and through us, change our communities and to bridge the divides between different yearly meetings.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Regards,<br />All of us gathered at the 2014 Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s Theology Conference.</span></div>
Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-40111277881048432582014-05-30T19:57:00.000-04:002014-05-30T19:57:20.785-04:00Workshop: On Prayer<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">[<i>The workshop I am leading on prayer at the <a href="http://www.pnwquakerwomen.org/conference/">Pacific Northwest Quaker Women's Theology Conference</a>.</i>]</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Douglas Steere said that “To pray is to pay attention to the deepest thing that we know.” In this workshop, we will explore different kinds of prayer, including body prayer, a breathing prayer, and an interactive stations of the Lord’s Prayer. Everyone is welcome.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br style="color: #222222;" /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Led by Ashley W – Originally from Alaska, studying at <a href="http://www.candler.emory.edu/">Candler School of Theology</a> in Atlanta, and a recorded minister of <a href="http://freedomfriends.org/">Freedom Friends Church</a> in Salem, OR. I call a lot of places home.</span></span><br />
Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4790396293521449566.post-29711792971977574402014-04-25T09:25:00.000-04:002014-04-25T09:25:01.868-04:00Quakers and Women in Ministry (Video)<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">In February, I had the opportunity to go to Philadelphia to observe the <a href="http://www.friendsjournal.org/">Friends Journal</a> board meeting for a school project. While I was there, <a href="http://www.jonwatts.com/">Jon Watts</a> interviewed me for Friends Journal's new <a href="http://quakerspeak.com/">QuakerSpeak</a> project. We talked about a lot of things, including my recording process, vocal ministry, my home meeting, <a href="http://freedomfriends.org/">Freedom Friends Church</a>, and women in ministry.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I feel honored to be featured in this week's QuakerSpeak video about
Quakers and women in ministry, along with Marcelle Martin, Carole
Spencer, and others. This video does a great job of explaining Friends' history of women in ministry, as well as talking about some of the ongoing challenges for women in ministry.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/RB1uZcl49QE?list=PL-r97fEzGE2Th6OgcDQIY14jMi0wknb8u" width="560"></iframe></span>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I am very excited about the QuakerSpeak project, and I look forward to the ways that QuakerSpeak will share information about Friends today in its weekly videos. Good work, Friends!</span>Ashley Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04767912859236943934noreply@blogger.com0