Eldering III

After my last post, On Outrunning Your Guide, a Friend asked me if I had any advice on what to do if you hear someone else outrunning his or her guide.  This is really a question about eldering.  I have written in the past about serving as an elder for an individual minister and about working with an elder as a minister.  This post is about eldering within one's own meeting.


Dear Friend,

You asked if I had thoughts on what to do when you hear someone else outrunning his or her guide in giving vocal ministry.  I am a little ashamed to say that my initial reaction was, "Don't do anything!"  Taking a Friend to task for vocal ministry is the kind of behavior that has given "eldering" such a negative connotation, and I have spent a lot of time over the past few years trying to reclaim the positive definitions of the word!  Still, attending to the quality of worship and holding ministers accountable is an essential part of being an elder.

A few years ago, the Nominating Committee at University Friends Meeting spent some time reflecting on the question of eldering in response to vocal ministry and concluded that it was not possible to elder someone you do not love.  I think that is true for all kinds of eldering, but especially this kind.  It is something to approach with humility and grace.

As with vocal ministry, God may call anyone to serve as an elder at any time, but there are those in our meetings who have particular gifts of eldering.  An elder's primary task is to hold the meeting in prayer.  An elder may come to meeting early to ground the space, pray for the meeting throughout the week, or have a particular concern for the quality of worship.

If you are in meeting for worship and hear someone giving a message outrun his or her guide, my first recommendation is to go as deep as you can.  Pray for the minister and try to listen for the Spirit beneath the message.  Consider that the message may not be for you, and pray that it reaches the person who needs to hear it.

After the person giving ministry has finished, resist the temptation to respond!  I know that I sometimes feel an urge to smooth things over after a message that seems ungrounded, but I know that I would just be speaking out of my own discomfort and not at the prompting of the Spirit.

If you feel led to speak with the Friend who gave vocal ministry after the rise of meeting, test that leading.  Is the leading truly for you?  Is there someone else who may be feeling led to say something?  Does your meeting have a committee, such as Worship and Ministry, with a concern for the quality of worship?

If, after your discernment, you still feel clear that you have a message for the individual, ask to speak with him or her.  Be direct, speak with love, and say what God has put on your heart.  Then listen.  Giving vocal ministry is a vulnerable thing, and the Friend may have had the sense of outrunning the guide, or may be struggling with other issues.  Hold the encounter in prayer, before, during, and after.

People speaking without divine inspiration is one of the hazards of open worship.  If the meeting is grounded, it should be able to absorb the occasional misguided ministry.  But if this happens often or repeatedly, it is a symptom of larger problems that the meeting needs to address.

Some queries to consider:

• Does the meeting have a shared expectation that worship is a time to center and listen for the voice of the Holy Spirit?  
• Do members and attenders have a shared vocabulary to describe their experiences of feeling led to speak in worship?  
• Is there space for conversations about vocal ministry?  
• How does the meeting as a whole encourage vocal ministry and hold those who feel led to speak accountable?

Blessings,
Ashley

Recording Accounting

[I am in the process for being recorded as a minister at Freedom Friends Church.  There are several steps in this process and the most recent one was for me to meet with the Ministry and Oversight Committee to talk about my call to ministry and for all of us to consider a list of queries.  We met yesterday.  In preparation for that meeting, I wrote the following report, documenting the ministry I have been doing over the past few years.]

When people ask me to describe my ministry, I usually say that I have one message:

 Turn toward God, in whatever language you use for God.

 I have found that I have a lot of room to do ministry that is in line with that message.

My spiritual gifts: prayer, faith, writing, prophecy, and knowledge

I began attending Freedom Friends Church in November 2004 and have been a member of the meeting since October 2005.  I served as assistant clerk in 2010 and have been presiding clerk since January 2011.  I was a sojourning member of University Friends Meeting from November 2008 to July 2010.  During my time at University Friends Meeting, I served on the Steering Committee for University Friends Meeting’s Year of Discernment as well as various clearness committees and an ongoing care committee.

I have been a Public Friend since April 2008, the time when I became co-clerk of the planning committee for the Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s Theology Conference and when I began my blog (the two occurred within a few weeks of each other).  I began traveling in the ministry within a few months and continued to do so regularly for three years.  For travel in the ministry and travel to gatherings, I have carried three traveling minutes and one minute of service from Freedom Friends Church, and two letters of introduction and one traveling minute from North Pacific Yearly Meeting.

In 2009-11, I participated in and graduated from the School of the Spirit Ministry's program On Being a Spiritual Nurturer (eighth class).  During that time, I attended eight residencies in Durham, NC and completed two research projects: one on the spiritual nurture of young Friends traveling in the ministry and one on the spiritual nurture of women who are recorded ministers.  I was a member of the panel on Being Other in Community (my focus was on the other as a prophetic role) in September 2010, and led semi-programmed worship in the style of Freedom Friends Church in November 2010.  I also wrote a final reflection paper, which included a statement of faith and a statement of my spiritual gifts.  As part of the program, I met with a spiritual care committee once a month.

Traveling Ministry

• Visited Capitol Hill Friends in Washington, DC for worship, meals, and opportunities to meet individually with Friends (5/11)
• Visited meetings and churches in Alaska, Idaho, Oregon, and Washington to share with Friends about the Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s Theology Conference and lead educational programs about working across the branches of Friends (6/08 – 4/10)
• Visited Northwest Yearly Meeting annual session in 2009 and 2010 as the North Pacific Yearly Meeting visitor
• Served as an elder for Friends leading workshops and giving messages at Pendle Hill, Multnomah Monthly Meeting, and the School of the Spirit (5/10 – 4/11)

Workshops

• Led a thread group at the FWCC World Conference of Friends called “Convergent Friends: worship and conversation” (4/12)
• Co-led a workshop at Northwest Yearly Meeting annual session with Wess D about Convergent Friends and the language we use to talk about the divine (7/10)
• Co-led a workshop at North Pacific Yearly Meeting annual session with Dorsey G and David W on University Friend Meeting’s Year of Discernment (7/09)

Friends Organizations

• Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s Theology Conference: co-clerk of the planning committee for the 2010 conference, Walk with Me: Mentors, Elders, and Friends (4/08 – 6/10)
• Friends World Committee for Consultation, Section of the Americas: served on the Local Arrangements Committee for the FWCC Section of the Americas 2009 annual session in Canby, OR (9/08 – 3/09)
• Western Program Oversight Committee: served on a committee to envision a program similar to the School of the Spirit on the West Coast (12/09 – 6/09)

Publications

• “Walking the Labyrinth,” in Friends Journal and “Gifts to Share: Stories of Women Who are Recorded Ministers,” on the Friends Journal website (October 2011)
• “Leadings,” “How I Became a Quaker,” and “Reclamation,” in Spirit Rising: Young Quaker Voices (Angelina Conti, et al, ed. 2010)
• “An Argument for Tithing,” in Western Friend (Kathy Hyzy, ed. February 2010)
• “My Only Hope,” in Enlivened by the Mystery: Quakers and God (Kathy Hyzy, ed. 2009)
• “Semantics” and “The Reluctant Convergent,” in Writing Cheerfully on the Web: A Quaker Blog Reader (Elizabeth A. Oppenheimer, ed. 2009)
• Blog: A Passionate and Determined Quest for Adequacy (224 posts, 4/08 – present)

Grants and Scholarships

• Susan Bax Fund, Friends World Committee for Consultation: $620 grant to visit North Carolina Yearly Meeting (Conservative) annual sessions (2012); $975 grant to visit churches and meetings in the Pacific Northwest to share about the Quaker Women’s Theology Conference (2008)
• Philadelphia Yearly Meeting International Outreach Granting Group: $300 grant toward the FWCC World Conference of Friends (2012)
• Individual donations for travel to the FWCC World Conference of Friends: $1,140 and 90,000 frequent flyer miles
• Youth Opportunity Fund, North Pacific Yearly Meeting: two $500 grants toward tuition for the School of the Spirit (2009 and 2010)
• Lyman Fund: $2,000 grant toward tuition for the School of the Spirit (2009)
• Sandra Cronk Memorial Scholarship Fund: $3,000 scholarship toward tuition for the School of the Spirit (2009)
• Margaret Fell Fund, FGC Traveling Ministries Program: $3,800 grant to release me for Gospel Ministry for the summer (2010)

Spiritual Practices

• Designated time in the morning for prayer (9/08 – present), read the Bible at night before bed
• Meet with a spiritual director once a month (8/11 – present)
• Met with a spiritual care committee quarterly, then once a month (7/08 – 7/11)
• Exercise with intention: running, walking, yoga

Unprogrammed

For a little over a year now, we have been trying an experiment at Freedom Friends Church.  When a month has a fifth Sunday, instead of our usual semi-programmed worship, we have been alternating between completely unprogrammed worship and fully programmed worship.  This past Sunday was the fifth Sunday in January and we had unprogrammed worship.

For Friends who are accustomed to beginning with singing and vocal prayer, an hour or more of unprogrammed worship can at times be uncomfortable.  We also had four first-time visitors (nearly a third of the group!), so we took some time to talk about open worship and what it means to feel led to speak.  Once we settled in, though, the worship was deep and rich.

Out of the silence, I felt led to give the following message:

This morning at Ministry and Oversight, two of the people we talked about were our friends, Ann and Dorsey.  They worship at University Friends Meeting, an unprogrammed meeting in Seattle.  As we were sitting here, it struck me that Friends at University Friends Meeting are in open worship now too, and I feel very connected to them right now.  They are sitting in chairs, facing each other, like we are.  There are probably a lot more of them than there are of us.  Many of them are older than us.  Many of them have been meeting like this for a long time.  Some have been meeting like this on Sundays for open worship for eighty or ninety years.  They keep coming back because they have found that there is something here for them―they meet in worship to listen to God, and the Spirit is at work in their lives.  There are Quakers all over the world who meet in silence to listen to God, which is amazing because there is so little room for silence.  And I am grateful to be a part of it.

Care Committee Report II

Final Report to the School of the Spirit from Ashley W's Care Committee
June 2011

Introduction

We have met for the first time as the complete support committee for Ashley in order to prepare this report.  Half of us live in Seattle and met with Ashley during the first year of the School of the Spirit and the other half live in Oregon where Ashley moved a year ago. All of us have been kept informed by the sharing of notes from each meeting and have other periodic contacts with Ashley.  What follows arose out of the day five of us spent together in Portland with Ashley present.[1]

Because we are a scattered group geographically, our connections are probably different than that of some of the other Care Committees.  Only one of us is a member of Ashley’s current meeting, Freedom Friends Church (FFC), thus many of our interactions with her are in the broader context of the Quaker world.  Those of us in Seattle did have the gift of working closely with her as she named her ministry to University Friends Meeting (UFM) and worked with us during UFM’s year of discernment, taking a leadership role in developing retreats and the overall process.  This year she has stepped forward and serves as clerk at FFC.  She has visited with Friends at Multnomah Meeting in Portland while serving as elder for Marge at a workshop and for Noah M for part of the time while he was Friend-in-Residence there.

Self-knowledge and the ability to articulate it

In some ways, the SoS experience has helped Ashley to better articulate some aspects of herself, both to others and herself. At the first residency, she grudgingly admitted she was a minister, and that she wasn’t happy about it. It was a word that was hard for her. More recently, she casually told a friend of a friend she already was a minister. She also felt like she had more clarity about her own faith and gifts when writing her final paper- it was a lot easier to state those than it would have been two years ago. Writing about them is much easier for her than talking about them.

Ashley received a response from a SoS instructor to her faith and gifts statement, which among other things called out that it’s important for her to know when she’s bringing too much intensity to the table. In conversation with a co-worker, she realized she’s not intense at work- so it happens in some places and not in others. Ashley knows she is sensitive, and knows that she can be intense. She thinks it may be good for her to have a job where she’s not intense (as it presently the case), as a means to balance out her life. Excitement and focus on just one thing tend to trigger the intensity. Sometimes it’s the Spirit, sometimes it’s her personal response to an experience.

In an earlier conversation, a Friend made the distinction between being a conduit and an instrument of God, which is useful to Ashley. She played violin as a child, and remembers how awful she sounded as a 5-year-old with little experience and a tiny violin! A lot of the time when she has been given vocal ministry, she’s felt like a conduit. When she thinks about speaking in other venues, it feels more like she’s an instrument- same spirit, but different. It’s comforting to her to think about how much practice on the violin it took before she started to sound good.

Another Friend observed that as a conduit, your job is to clear the channel, whereas as an instrument, there may be many other things you need to do or practice in order to bring that sound to life. Being an instrument of God involves discipline and stuff that isn’t necessarily fun.

Gifts of Spiritual Nurture

Ashley took an online quiz on spiritual gifts, and it came up with a list of five that resonated with her:

Prophecy- this came up at almost every residency. Ashley thinks of this as truth-telling all the time. Prophecy isn’t always obvious, at least not to her, and she doesn’t know whether something she says is prophetic, necessarily, when she says it.

Writing- comes easiest, has the most experience and training here.

Prayer- is, for Ashley, an obvious response to things that happen. Having grown up with a lot of vocal prayer, she’s pretty comfortable with it.

Knowledge- understanding and working with systems- of power, structures, how organizations work- comes naturally to Ashley.

Faith- hopefully it comes through! She talks a lot about being a Quaker- her co-workers associate it with her, which isn’t the same thing as talking about God, but it’s in the neighborhood.

We wondered if “faith” is a gift per se, or rather something you just have. Is there a difference between a gift and a talent? Faith isn’t a talent, to be sure; is writing? And can/how do you work on gifts?

We also asked if the gift of prophecy had developed further in the past year, if her understanding of that gift has changed, and about her role as a prophet.

Talking about prophecy has become easier for her, if only through repetition. Her September talk at the residency on “the other as a prophetic role” was really good for this, too. Frank M hammered on this point then, and said he thought she was ready, but not ready to be ready- which was obscure, but felt right. “A prophet isn’t respected in his hometown.” This feels right, but it’s also difficult to be a prophet in your hometown, because you’re integrated into the community, not looking in from the outside. The message of a prophet is “turn toward God” and that’s the message she keeps giving over and over. But it’s not a comfortable role or word, and it’s not something she wants to do all the time. She wants to be able to feel comfortable and at home sometimes. She doesn’t think prophecy is about a new message so much as it is about timing- saying the right thing at the right time.

More used to the idea, yes, but not comfortable. Prophecy isn’t a full-time job; sometime you have to go home. The role is between God and the community. The job is to turn people/community toward God- which echoes Ashley’s description of her ministry a year ago.

One Friend noted she talked about prayer as more of a response than a proactive endeavor. Ashley said she does think of it as a response to things and people: being sensitive to people’s condition. The gift is to be able to pray for them, out loud or not, depending on the situation. The gift is the sensitivity to the need. We spoke of the many different kinds of prayer, and how talking to God can be a gift of proactive or reactive character. We wondered if this was a part of her leadership gifts, or if it’s a more personal thing. Ashley thinks of it as both. Prayer is part of vocal ministry and leading meeting in prayer happens often at Freedom Friends. Prayer overlaps with faith, too, in that she has a deep conviction that prayer works. Eldering also involves a lot of prayer.

How are these gifts in relation to spiritual nurture? And is spiritual nurture really what it’s about for you? Is a prophetic ministry different from spiritual nurture? Ashley thinks of prophetic ministry as being more challenging, and spiritual nurture is more comforting. Leadership relates to both- comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable. The program has helped Ashley to name her gifts, find her voice, and learning, rather than focusing on spiritual nurture as a comforting thing. The program focused on nurturing and deepening the RSoF, with the hope that participants would bring that experience back to their meetings. One Friend also called out an intent to develop leadership, which can take a multiplicity of forms in spiritual nurture.

Ashley’s Place in the Meeting Community

There’s some question of how to define Ashley’s meeting. Corinthians I shows up everywhere in Ashley’s life. The bit of the ear wanting to be the foot, and for her, the bit about owning which gifts are hers, and not being envious of other’s gifts. This question provoked reflection amongst the committee members. Ashley does feel like she’s a member of many different manifestations of the body of Christ, and a part of Friends in the Northwest. When asked if her role is different in the different communities she’s a part of, Ashley responded that it is. At Freedom Friends, it’s to be clerk; other places she goes, she’s a Young Friend. She feels in-between about that, in that she doesn’t quite fit in that community, but around older Friends, she is perceived as a Young Friend, so ends up being an intercessory between the two.

The ‘shadow’ yearly meeting in the PNW, where Friends in the Northwest find affinities across the yearly meeting and theological lines was mentioned. This “yearly meeting” is not named, and these Friends don’t all think alike, but there are ties there. Does anything carry over from her role as co-clerk of this “yearly meeting”? She mentioned a few things. A friend asked if she would be a prayer partner when traveling; the planning committee asked if she would be a speaker at the next one. She’s well-known there and continues to have relationships in that circle.

How about in the blogosphere? What’s the role there? She’s connected, knows most of the people who end up on QuakerQuaker, at least a little bit. The overlap between the blogosphere and the Convergent Friends scene is there. The world gathering, another venue of this sort, still feels distant to her.

Has the experience of SoS helped clarify her place in these various worlds, and has there been growth in that? Yes- part of it has been exposure to Conservative Friends, as well as more liberal East Coast Friends. The program has felt like a container for a lot of what she’s been doing, with her care committee and K group providing her with a place to talk. Two years ago at this time, she’d never been to any yearly meeting! Now she’s one of the usual suspects.

It was reflected that Ashley’s public roles serve as a connecting force, bringing the rest of the world into Freedom Friends. Ashley shared her frequent sense of meeting as a group of people held together with a big rubber band, with varying levels of attachment to various folk.

Discernment of Leadings: Her Roles as Minister and Elder

Regarding her role as minister and/or elder, Ashley focused on that which tells me when I’m supposed to be doing/not doing.  She used to feel that when money came through, it was a clear indicator that she was supposed to act.  Lately she has come to see that this is not a sufficient discernment.  More is needed.  She has to keep listening. Things are less black and white than they used to be in general. She used to feel really clear about leading, now, not so much.

She’s read Art Larabee’s article on good discernment to clarify this process: what are the things she associates with good or negative discernment (in relation to testing leadings). Just because Ashley has felt bad about something doesn’t mean she was wrong in her discernment. She was asked rhetorically: when is a leading something worth testing with a couple people, and when is something just crystal-clear? She also talked about how it takes courage to recognize when a leading has turned out to be untrue, and to reflect on it and learn from the mistake. Corporate testing of leadings big and small is one of the gifts of the RSoF.

Often leadings are only recognized in the rear-view mirror. A piece of discernment is seeing where the path was divinely ordered. Leadings aren’t just I’m here, what next, they are also, okay, I got here through divine guidance. Leadings usually don’t show the way clear to their very ends. Ashley talked about her clerking of Freedom Friends as an instance of being rightly-led, but not necessarily for the length of time she’d anticipated. She represents the idea of someone other than Alivia or Peggy being clerk.

Minister and elder – discernment of roles.  Where is Ashley now?   75% minster/25 % elder still holds.  She is not giving up eldering totally, but feels more called to be a minister now.  This past year she has served as an elder a lot and esp. when eldering for Noah she felt a strong pull to minister.  This became an example that if you don’t listen to voices early, they get louder and more chaotic.  A very painful experience. There was also a lot of good and there is a deep need for people to take up that role for others who are ministers.  Eldering was the theme of the Women’s Conference and of part of the SoS program. Both made a lot more people comfortable with that concept and role.

It was noted that you can’t do both at once and we spoke of the criteria which distinguish them (in past Ashley saw a sharp line between vocal ministry and eldering – something which is not true today). This is an important and painful point of growth for Ashley.

Areas of Growth

Can’t believe that 2 years ago Ashley had never been to a yearly meeting.  Since then has attended 5 yearly mtgs.  Ashley gets systems insights quickly.  It was affirmed that this is a huge gift and something she has used well.

Increased capacity to find her own voice has been a visible sign of growth – partly because she had to although this is probably hard for her.  Two years ago she would have skipped business meeting in order not to have to give a report.

Growth has occurred in the ownership of her ministry, although she may still be resistant to prophetic ministry.  Ministry has changed shape for her.

One growing edge is in asking for help.  When Noah was here, she felt pushed to do that–an awful thing and a good thing. Along with this is learning how to accept help.

More confidence in what she is doing and where she is going with it – when in past she had direction yet was unsure & scattered?

It was noted that Ashley didn’t answer question about self-care as part of being a Spiritual nurturer and a minister and leader.  That this spring this was an important dynamic.  Ashley has been developing more practices, but not enough – or perhaps “trying” too much.

Coming to see when it is appropriate to say no, perhaps a lifelong task.  This year she has been getting a lot of lessons in letting go and seeing things go forward without her.  At Freedom Friends, the Recording Ministers task force, her leading/idea, but not hers to do.  Other times has taken things forward when it was not hers to do.

To be synthetic is to be convergent and very much needed.  Vision without shape and structure is fleeting.  Ashley feels more like Fell than Fox and finds Paul very sympathetic, pulling stuff together.

One favorite ministry is from World Gathering of Young Friends where someone spoke that it was quite possible that when leadings appear, it doesn’t mean that if you don’t take them they die.  Someone else will take up that work if you don’t have the capacity.

Care Committee: Kathy H, Marge A, Judy M, Ann S, Lucy F, Jana O, Sarah H

________________________________

[1] Jana O and Sarah H were unable to attend this meeting.

Care Committee Report

Report to School of the Spirit from Ashley W’s Care Committee
August 14, 2010

The Care Committee met with Ashley on July 9 to do an annual review.  It is our understanding that we were to discern together with her where she and we have been during this first year of her program with the School of the Spirit.

As you know, Ashley has spent the first year of the program in Seattle, as a sojourning member of University Meeting.  She has now moved to Salem, OR and will be at Freedom Friends Church.  Since she knew this would be the case, she put together a Northern Care Committee and a Southern Care Committee.  For this year, the Northern Care Committee has met in person with Ashley.  She has written a report before each meeting, which was shared with both committees.  A member of the Care Committee took notes during the meeting and sent them to Ashley.  Ashley them made additions and/or corrections and then sent them to both committees.  This report is from the Northern Care Committee.

We all acknowledged what a privilege and amazing opportunity it has been to serve on the Care Committee.  The regularity of the meetings (we came pretty close to once a month) and the depth and challenge of our discussions have contributed to the spiritual growth of each of us.  One Friend said it had been the most spiritual place for her for most of the past year.

There is a relationship between ministry and a community – or multiple communities.  Ashley’s ministry is rooted in University Meeting in Seattle and Freedom Friends Church in Salem, OR.  But it clearly extends to the Pacific Northwest (Women’s Theology Conference) and beyond (e.g. being an elder for Wess D and Martin K at Pendle Hill; the whole School of the Spirit experience).  One of her communities is her “K” group, which is very important to Ashley.  We challenged her to think about how she might keep connections with those Friends after the SoS ends.  Ashley mentioned that she might try to visit North Carolina YM (C) Annual Session some year.  This is an example of her expanding sense of community, as well as her sense of continuing to travel in the ministry.

As Ashley reflected on the past year, she noted her relationship with University Meeting and her struggle with “shoulds”.  She felt it was good to look back and see both accomplishments and struggles.  She has a sense of satisfaction about the PNW Quaker Women’s Conference and is glad it is over!  Some of it was hard, but she overcame the difficulties and grew.  She spoke of learning to “find her voice.”  She has grown to respond with more confidence to the call to speak in worship.  She is learning to ask for what she needs, although this is still hard. She admitted she had been hesitant to ask for an elder or traveling companion.  She feels she is getting better at accepting when she or others do not measure up to her self-acknowledged very high standards.  Serving as an elder for Wess and Martin was “good work” (and hard).

She asked for a traveling minute directly from NPYM (to apply to the Susan Bax Fund).  She realized in retrospect, it would have been better to start with the Monthly Meeting and then go to Yearly Meeting.  The Yearly Meeting M&O Committee might also have recognized it was not following its own process.  However, she was in a unique position, since she was a sojourning member of UFM, and Freedom Friends is not part of any larger body.

The committee raised the question about whether there is a new pattern for recognizing and supporting ministry, not rooted in a local Meeting.  Some Young Adult Friends do not feel rooted in a particular Meeting, and/or do not want to be limited to a particular branch of Friends.  Is this an issue to which Ashley is called?  Ashley felt that both University Meeting and Freedom Friends have been spiritual homes for her this past year.

The committee further explored if there had been blocks to feeling part of the UFM community, either within herself or the Meeting. Ashley noted that the meeting with the Worship & Ministry Committee was a really good start, and it is too bad it took so long to do that. Ashley and 2 members of the Care Committee met with W&M April 28, 2010.  She reported on her ministry and her disappointment in University Meeting.  At the end of the meeting, she said she would like to have some open time for everyone to share about ways that the meeting can provide ongoing support for Friends feeling called to ministry.  Members of W&M as well as the Care Committee found the meeting exciting and opened new ways the committee might work.  Ashley still has a sense that a lot of people in UFM did not know what she was doing.  Meeting as a whole should nurture ministry.  It was helpful to her hear about the experience of other Young Adult Friends, who had also felt limited support. The Care Committee has reminded itself to follow up with the UFM Worship & Ministry Committee about responding to the challenge to further explore how they might recognize, nurture and support ministry.

In the July 9 Care Committee meeting, we explored some of the reasons UFM is not good at supporting ministry.  In our discussion we agreed that UFM is not afraid to be a community.  It cares very well for people, e.g. “Care Committees” (for people who are ill or need special assistance).  However, it is a stunted community, because it is afraid to be a faith community.  We do not talk about our faith.  It would be good to have some conversations about words we can and cannot hear. We need to hear people and be gentle when they use their own words when speaking about faith experiences.

Ashley sees her ministry, now, as “turning people to God, in whatever language they use to describe God.”  We identified that a part of that ministry is bridge building.  Ashley noted that her vocal ministry is both in worship and also in presentations.  When she and Sarah were at Bellingham and Sandpoint Meetings, they gave workshops and got people talking about God.  She felt that one reason people don’t talk about God is their fear that everyone “gets it”, and they don’t.

We asked Ashley where her ministry is going and what areas she wants to work on.  One area is a paper and panel for SoS on being the “other” – standing outside of groups and offering a perspective. (This relates to the Care Committee June 30, 2010 discussion about being a prophet.)  She will continue to travel in the ministry, but is less clear how that will work.  She needs to be careful with her time, since she will be moving to full-time paid work AND, probably starting in February, to clerking Freedom Friends Church.  The SoS residencies and work will be a lot, even though her boss is supportive.  She may have to limit other activities.  Living alone may be a good idea, as she will have a steep learning curve with her job, new people and new systems.

The committee asked her about support resources, both practical and for discernment. Ashley expects her Care Committee to be a resource. She also has talked with Wess D about starting a meeting of ministers and elders.  The  “Northern Care Committee” noted it is really important for Ashley to ask someone to clerk the “Southern Care Committee” and to set a date for a meeting.

Ashley again thanked the committee and committee members responded, thanking her for the opportunity.  This has been a place where we can be our real selves and feel known – what we all seek in community. And it has been a place where we have all grown spiritually.  We thank the School of the Spirit for providing this structure.  We look forward to hearing about Ashley’s next year through reports and notes from the Southern Care Committee, and each expects to maintain contact with Ashley.

Care Committee: Ann S, Clerk; Lucy F, Sarah H, Jana O

A Thin Place

When I walked into meeting today, Jana was there. I was thrilled to see her. After she was hit by a car several weeks ago, no one knew what was going to happen.  Her recovery has been incredible, and last Tuesday, she got to go home.  Because of her broken leg, she is in a wheelchair, and she has months of various kinds of therapy ahead, but she looks amazing.

Jana seemed surprised by all the attention she was getting.  She said that people keep telling her that she sounds just like herself, and she wonders how else she would be.  Knowing that she would be mobbed if they stayed out in the social hall, Jana's husband took her into meeting early.  Others joined and we all settled.

The meeting today had a special quality.  We were silent for longer than usual, and three weighty Friends gave messages out of that silence.  One in particular spoke to me.  A Friend shared about a family in our meeting—a grandson, Milo, was born last week, and his grandmother, Lynn, is in the process of dying.

This message struck a chord in me because I was that baby. 

My mom was eight months pregnant with me when her mother died.  I know it was an incredibly hard time for her and the rest of my family, but it has also been a blessing for me.  Even though I was born in a time of great sorrow, I have always known that my birth was a cause for great joy.

It may surprise Jana that so many people are happy that she is herself, but her accident was a reminder to all of us that she is a miracle.  And the message today reminded me that we are all miracles—Lynn and Milo are miracles, I am a miracle, and you are too.  I think it is easier to remember that during times like birth and death, and I am grateful to be able to remember it now as well.

Petition

Some Friends have already written about the tragedy in our meeting this week.* Jana, a beloved member of University Friends Meeting, was hit by a car walking home from the bus on Thursday evening. She has been in the ICU in a medically induced coma since then and it is unclear whether she will make it and what her recovery will look like if she does.

When I first started coming to University Friends, Jana and her family went out of their way to make me feel welcome. She has been on my support committee since we first started meeting, when I could only bear to have two people listening to me. Whenever I have had a prayer request, Jana has been the person I have gone to, and she always prays.

I know I am not alone in relying on her. Over the decades she and her family have been a part of the meeting, she has touched countless lives.

The image that keeps coming into my head is this picture of her taken by Western Friend at North Pacific Yearly Meeting annual session. In our skit about worship, Jana was the Friend loudly sneaking in late, hoping no one would notice.

Meeting was so hard yesterday. We were all praying for Jana. Several Friends spoke about her and led us in prayer. There were things I wanted to say about Jana—how kind and funny she is, how much we all want her to get better—but I had no leading to speak.

Instead, when I asked God whether there was anything I should say, God responded with a line from a song: "All you have to do is cry." So I did. As we all prayed, tears streamed down my face. I cried for Jana, for her family, and for all of our pain and loss. The prayer that keeps coming to me is this:

God, we know you love Jana, but we love her too. Please give her back to us.

Please hold Jana, her family, and our community in the Light.

*This post has more information about the accident and Jana's current condition.

UPDATE: I have heard from a friend that Jana is awake and responsive, though still in the ICU. Please keep her in your prayers.

Among Friends

I sometimes feel like I am living a double Quaker life between Freedom Friends Church, where I am a member, and University Friends Meeting, where I am a sojourning member. Last week, I attended worship at both meetings and I felt led to speak at each. Now I am wondering whether there is a connection between those messages.

I spent the weekend before last hanging out with Peggy and Alivia and had the pleasure of attending meeting on Sunday morning. Freedom Friends is a church that inspires fierce loyalty and love. At the beginning of the meeting, when we were all listing our gratitudes, several people mentioned how grateful they were for the church. Many of the attenders have real and serious problems, but it is clear how much everyone cares about the community.

As part of an opening prayer, Peggy mentioned all of the people who couldn't be there, but were with us in spirit. After we settled into the silence, I felt the undeniable sense of being led to speak (this is not my favorite thing, so I think if I didn't get so uncomfortable, I might never say a word). I said,

I have been thinking about all the people who are not here, but are thinking of us, and how usually I am one of those people. I want you to know that I do think of you, and I pray for you, and it is a joy to hold this meeting in the Light.

I got back to Seattle a few days before University Friends Meeting's second all-meeting retreat. University Friends is a much older, more comfortable meeting that I am helping to make a little less comfortable in its Year of Discernment.

The goals of the year are to discern who we are as a community and what we are called to do. The second retreat focused on tools for individual discernment. Cathy Whitmire from the Widbey Island Worship Group came to lead us in discernment exercises. In the final exercise, we met in mini clearness committees focused on the question, "When you look into your place of deepest knowing, what do you most desire?"

After the clearness committees, we had time for open worship. Again, I felt that heart-pounding, can't-stay-in-my-seat feeling. So I stood and said,

I have been thinking about the connection between what we most desire and what we are called to do. I like my job, but I don't think of my job as my calling. I don't know if I will ever have a job that I think of as my calling. But I am the only Quaker where I work, and I get a lot of questions about being a Quaker. I try to answer the questions as honestly as I can. It is a burden and a gift to represent this community.

Looking at both of these messages, I can see that they have to do with me and my relationships with my meetings. A recurring theme in my life lately has been trying to find my place in the world. Within the Quaker world, I find myself taking on the roles of nurturer and representative and sometimes reluctant speaker. These are gifts and burdens, but overall, it is a joy.

Opening Up

The other day, a Friend asked me why my vocal ministry in meeting is usually so brief, when I seem to have so much to say. I told him that it is physically very difficult for me to stand up and speak, but writing comes much more easily to me. A Friend's story in Walk Worthy of Your Calling spoke to me when she said,

Each time I am invited somewhere to speak, I struggle to get to the inward place where I am willing to be kept stopped up, to be silent or otherwise made a fool of, if that is God's purpose to reach this particular group. (133)

My experience related but opposite. I struggle to get to a place where I am willing to speak, if that is God's purpose to reach the group.

Over the past few months when I have been in meeting, I have prayed that I will be willing to be ridiculous, if that is what God wants. Then I read about how God told Isaiah to walk around naked and barefoot for three years as a lesson to Egypt and Ethiopia (Isaiah 20:1-6). My first thought was, "Please, God, not that ridiculous!"

Earlier this week, Friends held a potluck to welcome me as a sojourning member of University Friends Meeting. Shortly after I arrived, my host asked me quietly how I was doing as the center of attention, which she knows is not my favorite thing. I said that it wasn't easy, but it helped that everyone was talking to each other.

When we sat down to eat, a Friend announced that I had to tell everyone there why I became a Quaker. I hoped he was kidding, but apparently that's their way of being welcoming. I did my best, saying that I became a member because I read the Freedom Friends Church Faith and Practice and agreed with all of it. It really is much easier to explain how I became a Quaker than why. I feel like the only true answer to the question is that I was led, but I don't think that is what they were looking for.

After my stilted and incomplete answer, the others went around the table and shared the experiences that made them want to become a member. It was interesting to hear their stories and I think they enjoyed talking about some of their shared memories.

Then the conversation moved on to other topics, including language and music. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about both language and music, but I stayed pretty quiet, as I tend to do in groups of that size. There were others there who clearly enjoyed talking, so I don't know that anyone really noticed.

Afterward, I had a milder sense of the feeling I get when I have a message in meeting and I do not have the courage to share it, that my heart was not clear. I felt like I was being stingy and taking something away from the gathering by not sharing my responses and stories.

But then I remembered that these were people who gathered to welcome me, and that I am now officially part of their community. Even though I didn't say as much as I could have at the potluck, that was not my last chance. There will be time for us to get to know each other better and I am glad.

Three Little Hats

A couple at University Friends Meeting is expecting triplets in January, so we had a secondhand baby shower for them after meeting last week. I think Friends cleaned out most of the baby consignment stores in Seattle!

I made three little hats for the occasion.

They weren't technically secondhand, but I did already have the yarn, so I figured that was close enough. I really liked the way they turned out and I think my cats did too!

With Love

For someone who claims to be a writer, I sometimes have the hardest time getting writing projects together. My friend Sarah H is on the editorial board for the Quaker Youth Book Project, so I have known about that project for quite some time now. I assured Sarah when I saw her in July that I was planning to submit some writing, but now it's November and I am still trying to decide what to submit.

Most of my Quaker-related writing has been for this blog, so I thought a good place to start would be with some posts that I particularly liked. A few months ago, I created a special "Quaker Youth Book Project" folder on my computer and put a few files in there. Then I ignored them.

Earlier this week, I finally printed out a few of the posts and sat down to edit them. I thought it would be nice to put two posts together, contrasting Freedom Friends Church and University Friends Meeting. But when I got to the piece I had written about University Friends, I felt like I was crossing out more than I was leaving. So much has changed since I wrote it.

I had written all about how I felt like no one knew who I was at University Friends, how unwelcoming they were to young adults, and how I felt that sometimes Friends were doing more editing than listening. This simply has not been my experience at University Friends lately.

A Friend who helped to found our Young Adult Friend group recently visited meeting for worship after a long absence. After meeting she asked, "when did the YAF population at the meeting explode?" It's true. A few weeks ago, I counted ten Friends between the ages of 18 and 35 at meeting, and none of them were there for the first time. Most weeks, we have young visitors and many of them visit repeatedly.

In this Year of Discernment, University Friends Meeting is trying to answer two questions: Who are we as a community? and What are we called to do? When I first started working with the other members of the Steering Committee, I didn't feel like the "we" in those questions applied to me. I was a member of another meeting, and I felt like my role in the process of discernment was to provide an outsider perspective.

This has changed too. Even before I formally became a sojourning member of University Friends Meeting, I began to realize that this was my community too. I have been honored and a little embarrased by the warm welcome I have received from so many members of the meeting. They have given me so many gifts and I feel grateful to have them as friends as well as Friends.

A message from meeting on Sunday has stayed with me through the week. A Friend said that he was struggling with what he was called to do and mentioned, almost as an aside, that he was called to love. This rang true to me. We are called to love. In fact, we are commanded to love God and to love our neighbor.

Today, it occurred to me that this message provides one answer to the questions that University Friends is asking. Who are we as a community? Friends. What are we called to do? Love. I know that there is still a lot of work to do and I doubt that University Friends will be able to simplify in the way that some hope by the end of this Year of Discernment. But if we can do all of the things we are doing with love, maybe that will be enough.

Not So Silent Worship

Scene: University Friends Meeting

Friends settle into silent worship. The Holy Spirit walks around slowly. Friends leave some silence between speaking.

Friend One: Did I remember to turn my cell phone off? At least my ring tone is set to Simple Gifts!

Friend Two: What does “hold in the light” mean?

Friend Three walks in late.

Friend Three: I really hate being late to meeting. I hope no one noticed!

The Holy Spirit walks toward Friend Four and taps her on the shoulder.

Friend Four: Is this really a message? Do I have to stand up? I don’t see what this has to do with anything―maybe I’m just hungry.

The Holy Spirit taps more insistently, then tries to pull Friend Four out of her seat.

Friend Four: I really don’t want to talk, so I don’t think it’s a message for the group. Maybe next week . . .

Friend Five: I really liked that book I read last week. Maybe I should talk about it and give folks something to think about during meeting.

As the Holy Spirit is still trying to pull Friend Four out of her seat, Friend Five starts to stand. The Holy Spirit is surprised. The Holy Spirit walks over to Friend Five and tries to make Friend Five sit.

Friend Six: Oh no, not another political message!

The Holy Spirit gives up on trying to quiet Friend Five.

Friend One: Not more of that Jesus talk!

Friend Two: I wonder what’s for light lunch?

The Holy Spirit shakes his head and puts a finger to his lips. The Holy Spirit puts his hand on A Friend’s shoulder. A Friend stands to speak, a little uncertainly.

[Concept and script developed by the Steering Committee for University Friends Meeting's Year of Discernment. Editorial and moral support by QB. Friends performed this skit for the First All-Meeting Retreat in the Year of Discernment.]

Visual Interest

I recently had a birthday and my parents gave me a digital camera! When I called to thank them, my Mom said, "Now you can put some pictures on your blog!" So I will.

I have been blessed with many visitors in the past few weeks. Two weeks ago, my friend Kirsten came to stay for the night. We skipped meeting and went wedding dress shopping instead. Unfortunately, I took all of the wedding dress pictures on her camera, so I don't have any to share. I can say that she looked beautiful in all of them.

Last weekend, my friend Andrea came to visit from the Bay Area. She works for a non-profit that created a documentary about public health. One of the featured areas was the High Point Neighborhood in Seattle, so we took the bus over to check it out.

Then my Mom came for a visit this weekend! We had a great time going to see Spring Awakening and going out to eat. Yesterday, we visited Snoqualmie Falls. It was beautiful and we had a lot of fun walking around.

Today, we met up with my friends Emily and Myles for breakfast. It is always great to see Emily and Myles and I wish we could see each other more often, but they are pretty busy with this little guy!


And because Emily, Myles, and Mom came to University Friends Meeting today, I got to show off our new sign.



Thank you to everyone who came to visit. I feel so fortunate to have you in my life!

My Minute of Sojourn

To University Friends Meeting of Seattle, Washington,

This letter serves as a Minute of Sojourn for Ashley W from Freedom Friends Church in Salem, Oregon.

On behalf of Freedom Friends, I greet you with peace and love. You already know Ashley W, and know that she is a generous and committed person: willing to roll up her sleeves and serve as she is called. While she has been serving your community so faithfully, she has also remained steadfast in her commitment and support of Freedom Friends Church, which is her spiritual home, and the Pacific NW Quaker Women's Theology Conference, of which she serves currently as co-clerk. Ashley is a beloved member of our community and we long to support her in her life and her service to God.

It is to this end that we give her this Minute of Sojourn. As she remains loving and steadfast with us, she has a full life in Seattle serving with you. She considers University Friends her second home. We approve her sojourning minute and encourage you to receive her as a sojourning member and take her under your care. Please continue your tender support of her and assist her in every way that you can. The world will be a better place for your love and your efforts.

Thank you for receiving and replying to our earlier correspondence, and for your support and love for Ashley.

Alivia B

Clerk, Freedom Friends Church

Connected Friends

First, happy birthday, Dad! I hear 60 is the new . . . something. Anyway, I hope you had a great day!

I have always wanted to be in a book club, and now I kind of am. Quaker Buddy* and I have started reading A Description of the Qualifications Necessary to a Gospel Minister, by Samuel Bownas and having long-distance conversations about it each week. When I told my Mom the name of the book, she groaned and suggested that we pick something a little lighter. Despite the very long title, the book is only 104 pages and, at two chapters a week, it is really not a lot of reading.

We have "met" twice now, and I have been amazed by how much we both have to say. Many of the themes Bownas discusses have been important in our lives lately, including what it means to be a minister, the purposes of traveling in the ministry, and how to discern a true leading.

By "gospel minister," Bownas means vocal minister. The other day, QB and I discussed whether we would identify as vocal ministers. Neither of us speaks in meeting very often, but we both do at times, and I think we each could have easily said yes or no.

QB decided that if asked, she would say that she considers herself a vocal minister because she has had the experience of being led to speak, and would be able to articulate that experience. I said that I would say no for similar reasons: I have had profound experiences in meetings when I did not feel led to vocal ministry and I could talk about the ways in which silent members participate.

After our conversation, I started thinking about how sometimes when I post, I have an experience similar to how I feel when I give vocal ministry―I feel strongly led. Even so, I have a hard time thinking of my blogging as a ministry.

The next topic for the Adult Religious Education class at University Friends Meeting is "Being a Connected Friend," and the discussion will be about how Friends use the internet to connect and interact, locally, regionally, and nationally. In keeping with my renewed commitment not to take on any more, I am not speaking. I am interested in the topic, though, and I think two of the queries for discussion are particularly good:

• Can you find real Quaker community on the internet?
  

• Can blogs actually help you center into the Light?

For me, the answer to both is yes. I doubt that I would have been able to stay as involved in the Freedom Friends community without the internet, and I probably would not have found them in the first place if they did not have a web site. I have also found that reading other Quaker blogs and taking the time to write about my experiences has helped me center as I try to not outrun my Guide.


*QB asked to remain anonymous and we agreed that "Quaker Buddy" is funnier than "Spiritual Friend," but with the same basic idea.

Something to Talk About

I survived speaking at University Friends Meeting's adult religious education class and now I am wondering whether it is better when I am the only one who knows how much I don't fit in or when lots of other people do too.

The topic was "Cross Generation Sharing: Three Friends from different generations share their experiences of how the Quakerism has influenced and helped them in the challenges of their life." I, of course, was representing the younger generation of Friends.

Which was my first problem. I do not feel representative of Young Adult Friends, except as an example of how different we all are. To begin with, the Young Adult Friends group in Seattle includes people ages 18-35, which is a huge range. We have some members who are just starting college and others who are married and having kids.

I also do not feel especially representative of University Friends Meeting because of my membership at Freedom Friends Church. It is sometimes hard for me to believe that both of these meetings are part of the Religious Society of Friends, they are so different.

I tried to express all of this in the panel. I started with the story of how I became a Quaker, then described worship at Freedom Friends, and how much culture shock I felt when I came to University Friends.

I also said that I had realized, in preparing for the panel, that I hadn't planned to say anything about God. I found this very troubling because God is such a huge part of my life, and because I sometimes feel like I can't talk about God at University Friends. I ended by saying that I wished people at University Friends would talk about God more.

I would say that statement got more of a reaction than anything else I said.

To be clear, it's not that I want everyone to believe the same things that I do. I just want to be able to talk about what we believe. I think it can be easy for unprogrammed Friends to let the silence seep into everything we do together and avoid any real conversations about what is happening in our spiritual lives.

If we don't talk about what we believe, it is easy to assume that everyone is having the same experience, or thinks the same things. I also think that some Friends are so worried about offending others that they just stay away from controversial language and topics altogether.

In reading through the Bible, I have finally made it to Psalms. I am having fun reading these chapters that I heard and read so many times as a child, and it is especially entertaining to read several of them at a time. I love how one will end with

Show your strength, God, so no one can miss it. We are singing out the good news!

(Psalm 21:13), and the next will begin with

God, God . . . my God! Why did you dump me miles from nowhere? Doubled up with pain, I call to God all the day long. No answer. Nothing. I keep at it all night, tossing and turning.

(Psalm 22:1-2).

These Psalms really are like my prayers. One day I am on top of the world and strongly feel God's presence, and the next, I feel like I am wandering blind. I feel that way about being a Quaker too―some days I feel such a sense of community and like I am where I am supposed to be, at other times, I just feel frustrated and alienated.

I don't know whether the adult religious education class would want me to talk again, but I have to give them credit―even when it was clear that I was making them uncomfortable, everyone was really trying to be supportive of me. I appreciate Friends' willingness to have me as part of their community even if I sometimes seem a little too evangelical to quite fit in.

Gathering

A few months ago, Emily and I were debating the pros and cons of an online church with Myles. Myles thought a web-based service could be a good way to get people involved who could not or did not want to go to church. I agreed that it could be good for people who could not physically go, but otherwise I was skeptical. Emily and I agreed that Jesus's words were "when two or three are gathered," and being part of a physical gathering is how we read that verse.

I started thinking about gathering again yesterday after meeting. I try not to miss silent worship on Sundays if I can help it. I didn't always feel the need to be there every week. During law school, I was doing pretty well if I made it once or twice a month. But now that I have more time, I feel like I have lost something if I don't get to sit with others in worship, even if the meeting is completely silent.

Beyond just being in a room with others, I am starting to feel like actually sitting next to another person is important for me. Since I started attending University Friends Meeting, I haven't usually sat next to anyone. I think I started sitting alone mostly because I didn't know anyone. I also have an overdeveloped desire for symmetry, so I have gravitated toward a section of the room that usually has fewer people in it, trying to fill up the space. And even though I usually close my eyes, I find others distracting when I am trying to center.

Of course, when a friend of mine comes to visit the meeting, I sit next to her. And I have noticed an alarming trend: three times when I have had a friend sitting next to me, I have felt led to share vocal ministry. I am not sure what to make of this. It seems counterintuitive to me―I would expect to be less talkative when a friend is watching, it feels like there is more at stake somehow. But I think having someone there who cares gives me the support I need to stand, and I am grateful that my friends have been there for me.

Yesterday, I felt led to sit next to a Friend who also often sits alone. I was a little nervous because I didn't want to impose and I also didn't want to have to speak, but I think she was pleased to have me there. And about halfway through the meeting, the Friend next to me rose to speak. Then I got to sit next to her as she shared her message, supporting her and holding her in the Light.

Today, I looked up the verse about two or three gathering, and I love the translation in The Message translation of the Bible of this passage as well: "When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I'll be there." Matthew 18:20.

The Blog of Discernment

As many of you know, I am on the Steering Committee for University Friends Meeting's Year of Discernment. We are experimenting with different methods of getting the word out about what we are doing and how the Year of Discernment is going. As part of this, I offered to set up a blog:

The Blog of Discernment

I also wanted to say that although it looks like I am completely responsible for posting so far, I didn't actually write the content on the blog. The Year of Discernment description comes from UFM's Nominating Committee and the article about the first retreat was written by our good Friend, Dorsey G.

My hope is that this blog will answer some of the questions people have about the Year of Discernment and provide a forum for comments and feedback from the UFM community.

Taking Care of Business

I'm not sure when it happened, but I realized today that I have come to enjoy business meeting. Maybe I am just some special kind of masochist, but I don't think so. I used to dread or avoid business meetings. They seemed to take forever and all I could think about was what I needed to do after the meeting was over. Now I really appreciate Quaker process, though I do sometimes wish the meetings were a little shorter!

For my non-Quaker friends, a little background. Quaker meetings hold meetings for worship for business once a month. Anyone who wants to attend may participate. The business of the meeting is conducted in a spirit of worship. The clerk guides the meeting and calls on individuals who wish to address a particular issue. The goal is corporate discernment and unity. This does not necessarily mean consensus, but a clear sense of what the meeting is led to do.

This morning, I was looking forward to business meeting, and not just because I needed to get some knitting done on a baby hat. University Friends Meeting has a new clerk and this was the first time I was going to see her in action (she did a great job). I had also made a raspberry buckle with some of the berries I picked yesterday and I was looking forward to seeing how it turned out (a little dry, but not too bad for a first attempt).

One of the first items on the agenda was a report from the treasurer and I am thrilled to say that University Friends Meeting exceeded its contribution goal for the year. I think the letter the Finance Committee sent out really reminded members that the meeting needs their help.

We also had a deep discussion about the wording of a declaration against torture. Although everyone was clear that Quakers oppose all torture, the meeting initially was not in unity about the wording of a Declaration of Principles for an Executive Order on Torture. It was lovely to see Friends speak from their convictions, listen to each other, pray together, and find unity.

I felt led to join an ad hoc committee to welcome Junior Friends. My friend Asia was wagging her finger at me when she saw me raise my hand, saying that I am already doing too much. I keep saying that I am not going to take on any more, but then I do anyway. I think this is important, though, and I really felt like the committee needed someone who is closer in age to the Junior Friends.

I also volunteered to read and review God's Troublemakers: How Women of Faith Are Changing the World, by Katharine Rhodes Henderson. That project seems more like fun than work, though. I read the first chapter out in the sun this afternoon and I am looking forward to learning all the women's stories. Hopefully saying yes to these two things will help renew my commitment to saying no!

During the final worship in business meeting, I felt led to speak. All through the opening worship, the lines from a song I sang as a child were going through my head. By the end of the meeting, those lines had become a prayer for the meeting and for all of us: may we have peace like a river, joy like a fountain, and love like an ocean.