With all the news about certain yearly meetings (*ahem* Northwest Yearly Meeting/North Carolina Yearly Meeting) "releasing" meetings, I think some Friends have lost the thread.
And the fact that in both cases it was a small committee acting outside of its authority, in my opinion, indicates a lack of Gospel Order.
If it is the will of God to expel the meetings who don't "follow Faith & Practice," bring it to the floor of business meeting.
(Which is kind of ridiculous because Faith & Practice is descriptive, not prescriptive. If Friends are hearing otherwise, revise F&P.)
I am encouraged by the faithful response of individuals and meetings saying that these decisions will not stand.
But there are a lot of wounded people right now. If we say we are Friends, we'd better listen for the voice of the Spirit together.
If not, we shouldn't call ourselves Friends. Just some other group that doesn't believe in listening for unity in the Spirit.
Showing posts with label Quakerisms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Quakerisms. Show all posts
Friday, August 28, 2015
Sunday, July 12, 2015
Business Meeting Report (July)
[As part of my internship with First Friends Meeting, I am writing short reports to the monthly meeting for business. This is my report for the July business meeting.]
I am over halfway through my 10-week internship with First Friends Meeting and I have been having a wonderful time! Everyone has been so friendly—I feel right at home. In my first week, I had the opportunity to travel with other Friends to the FUM Stoking the Fire conference in Ohio. Since then, I have been able to experience many aspects of pastoral ministry, including helping Deborah with three weddings, a memorial, and two baby blessings, along with working in the office, pastoral visits, and other forms of pastoral care. I have been working on putting people in the First Friends community into Quaker Eights groups, with the hope that these small groups will help foster community and deepen relationships in the meeting. I enjoyed preaching at Vespers for Friends Homes (West), and I look forward to preaching during First Friends’ programmed worship. It has also been a joy for me to join the choir. Thank you all for being so welcoming! I look forward to getting to know you better as the summer progresses.
I am over halfway through my 10-week internship with First Friends Meeting and I have been having a wonderful time! Everyone has been so friendly—I feel right at home. In my first week, I had the opportunity to travel with other Friends to the FUM Stoking the Fire conference in Ohio. Since then, I have been able to experience many aspects of pastoral ministry, including helping Deborah with three weddings, a memorial, and two baby blessings, along with working in the office, pastoral visits, and other forms of pastoral care. I have been working on putting people in the First Friends community into Quaker Eights groups, with the hope that these small groups will help foster community and deepen relationships in the meeting. I enjoyed preaching at Vespers for Friends Homes (West), and I look forward to preaching during First Friends’ programmed worship. It has also been a joy for me to join the choir. Thank you all for being so welcoming! I look forward to getting to know you better as the summer progresses.
Monday, June 29, 2015
Guest Post: Why Can't We All Just Get Along?
[I am spending the summer as the pastoral intern at First Friends Meeting, a church in North Carolina Yearly Meeting (FUM). On Sunday, June 21, Deborah S offered this message in programmed worship. She agreed to let me share her message as a guest post here.]
We in the Quaker tradition generally don’t incorporate the outward sacrament of confession and absolution into our worship service. But sometimes I wish we did. Because I believe that we who are leaders in our state denomination—North Carolina Yearly Meeting of Friends—we have sin to confess. And it’s the sin of once again dividing up the body of Christ.
If we did offer public confession, my prayer would be this:
Thankfully, we at this meeting are not fighting over theology. We certainly have our own failings and growing edges, but as a local congregation we are not struggling over the issues that are dividing the wider state denomination. And while I haven’t wanted to preach about this before (there is not a lot of joy in it), I think it’s time to talk plainly from the “pulpit” about these wider concerns that are taking place beyond our local meeting in our wider North Carolina Quaker world.
I, of course, can only speak this morning from my experience and my perspective. I encourage you to talk with others, ask questions, read the material that we will get out to you soon. Then please come to our July 12 Monthly Meeting for Business, as we seek to hear God’s voice among us in order that our First Friends representative can then speak clearly on our behalf to the wider Quaker body on August 1.
Many of you have heard rumblings that our state denomination is in trouble. And you have asked, “What the heck is going on? What are we arguing about? What is dividing the sixty plus Quaker meetings (or churches) that we’ve been connected to for over a hundred years?”
Well… it’s complicated. Of course. But here’s my best understanding on what we are struggling with:
The first issue in our Yearly Meeting is that, among the 60 different churches, we have differing views of Scripture. Many of our beloved siblings in Christ understand scripture to be their primary authority. First and foremost, their source of spiritual authority is the Bible. While we at First Friends love scripture, we also believe (much as early Friends taught) that the Bible is merely words unless the Holy Spirit brings our reading of scripture to life.
As we read scripture, we seek to understand it through the lens of Jesus who said that the greatest commandment is to love God and love our neighbor. So we try to read and interpret scripture in that spirit.
Which means, for instance, that even though there are parts of the bible that say women should be silent in the church, we affirm that God can speak equally to all people. It means that although war was understood in King David’s day to be God-led and even spirit-inspired, we choose to say war should never be the answer.
And getting to one of the current major dividing points: while Jesus didn’t speak to the issue of same-sex marriage, it is our understanding that scripture, properly interpreted, affirms covenantal relationships. And so yes, we will affirm and marry a same-sex couple that is choosing to make the huge and prayerful commitment that marriage asks of anyone.
(And, since same-sex marriage is a huge topic, if my words surprise you, please feel free to call me and we can talk about it further.)
So, the first point is that people within our state denomination are divided over scripture and its authority.
A second issue is the question: Who is saved? And how are we saved?
Many of our fellow Quakers believe that the only way to God is through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and that it is through the sacrificial blood of Christ that our sins are forgiven and one receives salvation.
Now here at First Friends, we will respond to that question of salvation in a variety of ways. But, in general, we would affirm that it is not ours to judge who is in and who is out. Early Friends preached about the universal saving Light of Christ. About how people who are living out a deep and genuinely loving faith that results in loving their neighbor—those people with such a faith—are encountering the Living Christ even if they don’t know the name of Jesus.
So, there are genuine differences in how we view salvation, and those differences have become a great concern for some in our Yearly Meeting.
In my experience, those are the two main theological concerns.
Of course, the underlying question is: Why can’t we all just live with the differences? Why do we need to agree on our view of Scripture or salvation? After all, we in NCYM have lived with theological diversity for years … why can’t we continue to do so?
I wish we could. I personally think we could. I believe First Friends is made richer for being in association with others who think and believe differently. I like the diversity. I need the wideness of thought, prayer, and belief.
However, not everyone in our Yearly Meeting is comfortable with that range of beliefs. And I respect their reason for wanting to disassociate with us and those who believe differently. It comes down to what the Apostle Paul called being “unequally yoked.”
The Apostle Paul wrote that we should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Many of our beloved Friends feel their association with those who believe differently regarding salvation and the Bible (and same-sex marriage) qualifies as being unequally yoked. And this is a sincere belief. My more theologically conservative friends are not trying to be mean or judgmental, they are simply stating what they understand to be true and wanting to be faithful to their beliefs.
As one of my friends from the other end of the theological spectrum said to me, “How can we preach Jesus and his sacrifice on the cross as the only way to salvation when you across town teach something else? Our association dilutes the clear message of salvation in Christ.” And again, he said that not with a mean spirit, not even critically, but in care and with sincerity.
For our more theologically conservative Friends, our diversity of belief is a genuine stumbling block. And I get it. So let me emphasize: this is not light versus darkness or good guys versus bad guys, etc. For the most part, these are our fellow Quakers who like us and even love us, but simply feel like they can not continue to remain yoked with us.
Which brings me back to my first words: May God forgive us. For I believe that somewhere along the way, we all haven’t maintained the relationships that could have seen us through these theological differences.
And so our state denomination is at a standstill. Our body of representatives will gather on August 1 and possibly make a decision to separate in some manner. Or maybe some other GREAT wisdom will arise allowing us to health-fully, authentically remain as one body.
What I do know is that it is time to stop our theological spats. Because the world needs all of us, conservatives and progressive alike, to do the work of Jesus, who called us to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the orphans, and work for justice. And friends, I am hopeful because we worship a God who forgives our brokenness, wipes away our sin, and calls us into new life together.
So, let us pray for wisdom. Whether we stay together as a denomination or not, let us prayerfully determine in the wider body to at least love one another. For they will know we are Christians by our love, by our love. And they know we are Christians by our love.
Amen.
We in the Quaker tradition generally don’t incorporate the outward sacrament of confession and absolution into our worship service. But sometimes I wish we did. Because I believe that we who are leaders in our state denomination—North Carolina Yearly Meeting of Friends—we have sin to confess. And it’s the sin of once again dividing up the body of Christ.
If we did offer public confession, my prayer would be this:
Jesus, during that last meal with your friends, you interceded for your disciples and said: “I pray that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.” (John 17:21)For those of you who are visiting today or are relatively new to First Friends Meeting, I promise that today’s sermon is a one-off. We don’t normally focus on our denominational woes. And let me emphasize that the divisions I am speaking about are not internal to First Friends Meeting. So… please don’t let today’s message scare you away, okay?
Jesus prayed that his followers may be one. Yet, like so many before us in so many different Christian denominations, our state gathering is spiritually divided. We are not one. We who preach peace are fighting among ourselves.
Forgive us, O God.
Jesus, you said, “Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” (Matthew 12:50) And yet, in our brokenness we have taken it upon ourselves to judge who is right, who is wrong, who is in, who is out.
Forgive us, O God.
Jesus you said, “This is my commandment, that you Love one another, as I have loved you. You are my friends if you do what I have commanded.” (John 15:12, 14)
Our very name, The Religious Society of Friends, comes from that same passage, this passage calling us to Love. And while I think Friends in all of our meetings (churches) want to love one another, we have failed. And instead, some have questioned other’s integrity and we have had spats over theology. While I believe differing opinions are fine, in our disagreements in our wider Quaker denominational gatherings, we have often been unkind to one another. Hurtful words have been uttered. We have not stayed centered in Christ’s love or centered in the Holy Spirit.
Forgive us, O God, I pray.
Amen.
Thankfully, we at this meeting are not fighting over theology. We certainly have our own failings and growing edges, but as a local congregation we are not struggling over the issues that are dividing the wider state denomination. And while I haven’t wanted to preach about this before (there is not a lot of joy in it), I think it’s time to talk plainly from the “pulpit” about these wider concerns that are taking place beyond our local meeting in our wider North Carolina Quaker world.
I, of course, can only speak this morning from my experience and my perspective. I encourage you to talk with others, ask questions, read the material that we will get out to you soon. Then please come to our July 12 Monthly Meeting for Business, as we seek to hear God’s voice among us in order that our First Friends representative can then speak clearly on our behalf to the wider Quaker body on August 1.
Many of you have heard rumblings that our state denomination is in trouble. And you have asked, “What the heck is going on? What are we arguing about? What is dividing the sixty plus Quaker meetings (or churches) that we’ve been connected to for over a hundred years?”
Well… it’s complicated. Of course. But here’s my best understanding on what we are struggling with:
The first issue in our Yearly Meeting is that, among the 60 different churches, we have differing views of Scripture. Many of our beloved siblings in Christ understand scripture to be their primary authority. First and foremost, their source of spiritual authority is the Bible. While we at First Friends love scripture, we also believe (much as early Friends taught) that the Bible is merely words unless the Holy Spirit brings our reading of scripture to life.
As we read scripture, we seek to understand it through the lens of Jesus who said that the greatest commandment is to love God and love our neighbor. So we try to read and interpret scripture in that spirit.
Which means, for instance, that even though there are parts of the bible that say women should be silent in the church, we affirm that God can speak equally to all people. It means that although war was understood in King David’s day to be God-led and even spirit-inspired, we choose to say war should never be the answer.
And getting to one of the current major dividing points: while Jesus didn’t speak to the issue of same-sex marriage, it is our understanding that scripture, properly interpreted, affirms covenantal relationships. And so yes, we will affirm and marry a same-sex couple that is choosing to make the huge and prayerful commitment that marriage asks of anyone.
(And, since same-sex marriage is a huge topic, if my words surprise you, please feel free to call me and we can talk about it further.)
So, the first point is that people within our state denomination are divided over scripture and its authority.
A second issue is the question: Who is saved? And how are we saved?
Many of our fellow Quakers believe that the only way to God is through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and that it is through the sacrificial blood of Christ that our sins are forgiven and one receives salvation.
Now here at First Friends, we will respond to that question of salvation in a variety of ways. But, in general, we would affirm that it is not ours to judge who is in and who is out. Early Friends preached about the universal saving Light of Christ. About how people who are living out a deep and genuinely loving faith that results in loving their neighbor—those people with such a faith—are encountering the Living Christ even if they don’t know the name of Jesus.
So, there are genuine differences in how we view salvation, and those differences have become a great concern for some in our Yearly Meeting.
In my experience, those are the two main theological concerns.
Of course, the underlying question is: Why can’t we all just live with the differences? Why do we need to agree on our view of Scripture or salvation? After all, we in NCYM have lived with theological diversity for years … why can’t we continue to do so?
I wish we could. I personally think we could. I believe First Friends is made richer for being in association with others who think and believe differently. I like the diversity. I need the wideness of thought, prayer, and belief.
However, not everyone in our Yearly Meeting is comfortable with that range of beliefs. And I respect their reason for wanting to disassociate with us and those who believe differently. It comes down to what the Apostle Paul called being “unequally yoked.”
The Apostle Paul wrote that we should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Many of our beloved Friends feel their association with those who believe differently regarding salvation and the Bible (and same-sex marriage) qualifies as being unequally yoked. And this is a sincere belief. My more theologically conservative friends are not trying to be mean or judgmental, they are simply stating what they understand to be true and wanting to be faithful to their beliefs.
As one of my friends from the other end of the theological spectrum said to me, “How can we preach Jesus and his sacrifice on the cross as the only way to salvation when you across town teach something else? Our association dilutes the clear message of salvation in Christ.” And again, he said that not with a mean spirit, not even critically, but in care and with sincerity.
For our more theologically conservative Friends, our diversity of belief is a genuine stumbling block. And I get it. So let me emphasize: this is not light versus darkness or good guys versus bad guys, etc. For the most part, these are our fellow Quakers who like us and even love us, but simply feel like they can not continue to remain yoked with us.
Which brings me back to my first words: May God forgive us. For I believe that somewhere along the way, we all haven’t maintained the relationships that could have seen us through these theological differences.
And so our state denomination is at a standstill. Our body of representatives will gather on August 1 and possibly make a decision to separate in some manner. Or maybe some other GREAT wisdom will arise allowing us to health-fully, authentically remain as one body.
What I do know is that it is time to stop our theological spats. Because the world needs all of us, conservatives and progressive alike, to do the work of Jesus, who called us to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the orphans, and work for justice. And friends, I am hopeful because we worship a God who forgives our brokenness, wipes away our sin, and calls us into new life together.
So, let us pray for wisdom. Whether we stay together as a denomination or not, let us prayerfully determine in the wider body to at least love one another. For they will know we are Christians by our love, by our love. And they know we are Christians by our love.
Amen.
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Stoking the Fire
I had my first real experience with Friends United Meeting (FUM) Friends over the weekend at the Stoking the Fire conference, which took place May 22-25 in Milford, OH. This was supposed to be my first week of work at First Friends Meeting, but since my supervisor is out of town, she suggested that I attend the conference and get to know FUM Friends that way. I usually like to wait a while to let things settle before writing about an experience like this, but since I am leaving for California tomorrow, I want to write some of my initial impressions.
One of the highlights for me was being able to ride in the car with other Friends from North Carolina Yearly Meeting (FUM). I did not know any of these Friends before we set off together on the 7.5-hour trip from Greensboro to Milford, but we know each other well now! We spent a lot of time talking about our meetings, yearly meetings, and preaching, and we laughed a lot.
This was the first Quaker conference I have been to in a long time where I did not have any
responsibilities. That was a little strange for me, but also pretty great. The planners did a good job of building spaciousness into the schedule, with breaks and unstructured time, and I spent a fair amount of time napping and reading for pleasure. The conference center was also very comfortable, with single rooms and plenty of food.
I didn't know what to expect entering an FUM gathering, but the Friends were extremely welcoming. I got to spend time with some Friends I hadn't seen since the 2012 World Conference of Friends. It was lovely to be able to catch up and share new ideas (some Friends and I especially enjoyed debating the parameters of "bro theology" over lunch one day). I also got to know some new people, and I expect those relationships will continue online and as we travel among Friends.
The worship times were warm and welcoming, with a spirit of listening and a willingness to experiment. The gathering was explicitly Christ-centered, and I got the sense that many Friends there feel out of place in their own meetings; they seemed relieved to be in a place where they could share their Christian beliefs freely. The singing throughout the weekend fed my soul, especially in the Saturday evening Taize worship.
One thing that was surprising and disappointing was the gender imbalance in presenters over the weekend. Men preached every morning, led the plenaries, and led most of the other activities in the large group. In our main sessions, only two out of ten were led by women. There were three young men (i.e., under 40) present, and all of them had leadership roles in the main sessions; there were at least eight young women, and none of them did. The women who led tended to be in typically female roles: as support, leading music, or leading prayer. I also noticed immediately that everyone was using male pronouns for God. I am not used to hearing exclusively male pronouns anymore, and it was distracting and a little alienating for me.
Even more distressing were some of the comments that older men made to younger women present. There was one man in particular who referred to all of the women there as "honey" and "girl," and then proceeded to tell them what to do. I heard from three women that some of the men had made inappropriate comments about their appearance, including sexual and racial remarks. This behavior is unacceptable and I expect better from Friends.
The conference took place over Pentecost weekend, and there was a sense of longing for a new Pentecost among Friends, a renewed fire in the Religious Society as a whole. We did not experience that kind of fire, but there was a warmth to the gathering that was encouraging. I think most of the Friends there came out with a renewed feeling of commitment and a greater sense of hope for the future of Friends.
In the final session, we spent time sharing where we had seen fire in various places throughout the weekend. Rather than a bonfire, many of the fires were more like the candles in the Taize service—small but giving off more light and heat than we might have expected.
Then Colin invited Friends to join him in the center of the circle, to draw near to Christ with him. He started by inviting people individually and eventually everyone was welcomed in. Afterward, a Friend referred to this moment as an altar call, and I realized that it was, but unlike other altar calls I have witnessed, which can feel manipulative and coercive, this grew organically out of the time that we shared together. Friends felt free to come to the center or stay on the edges, and Christ was present everywhere.
One of the highlights for me was being able to ride in the car with other Friends from North Carolina Yearly Meeting (FUM). I did not know any of these Friends before we set off together on the 7.5-hour trip from Greensboro to Milford, but we know each other well now! We spent a lot of time talking about our meetings, yearly meetings, and preaching, and we laughed a lot.
This was the first Quaker conference I have been to in a long time where I did not have any
I didn't know what to expect entering an FUM gathering, but the Friends were extremely welcoming. I got to spend time with some Friends I hadn't seen since the 2012 World Conference of Friends. It was lovely to be able to catch up and share new ideas (some Friends and I especially enjoyed debating the parameters of "bro theology" over lunch one day). I also got to know some new people, and I expect those relationships will continue online and as we travel among Friends.
The worship times were warm and welcoming, with a spirit of listening and a willingness to experiment. The gathering was explicitly Christ-centered, and I got the sense that many Friends there feel out of place in their own meetings; they seemed relieved to be in a place where they could share their Christian beliefs freely. The singing throughout the weekend fed my soul, especially in the Saturday evening Taize worship.
One thing that was surprising and disappointing was the gender imbalance in presenters over the weekend. Men preached every morning, led the plenaries, and led most of the other activities in the large group. In our main sessions, only two out of ten were led by women. There were three young men (i.e., under 40) present, and all of them had leadership roles in the main sessions; there were at least eight young women, and none of them did. The women who led tended to be in typically female roles: as support, leading music, or leading prayer. I also noticed immediately that everyone was using male pronouns for God. I am not used to hearing exclusively male pronouns anymore, and it was distracting and a little alienating for me.
Even more distressing were some of the comments that older men made to younger women present. There was one man in particular who referred to all of the women there as "honey" and "girl," and then proceeded to tell them what to do. I heard from three women that some of the men had made inappropriate comments about their appearance, including sexual and racial remarks. This behavior is unacceptable and I expect better from Friends.
The conference took place over Pentecost weekend, and there was a sense of longing for a new Pentecost among Friends, a renewed fire in the Religious Society as a whole. We did not experience that kind of fire, but there was a warmth to the gathering that was encouraging. I think most of the Friends there came out with a renewed feeling of commitment and a greater sense of hope for the future of Friends.
In the final session, we spent time sharing where we had seen fire in various places throughout the weekend. Rather than a bonfire, many of the fires were more like the candles in the Taize service—small but giving off more light and heat than we might have expected.
Then Colin invited Friends to join him in the center of the circle, to draw near to Christ with him. He started by inviting people individually and eventually everyone was welcomed in. Afterward, a Friend referred to this moment as an altar call, and I realized that it was, but unlike other altar calls I have witnessed, which can feel manipulative and coercive, this grew organically out of the time that we shared together. Friends felt free to come to the center or stay on the edges, and Christ was present everywhere.
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Mid-Year Report
[To the May business meeting of Freedom Friends Church]
People say that the second year of seminary is the hardest. Academically, this year was not as challenging as I expected, but it has been emotionally difficult. Many things in the culture had an impact on people in my program, including the Black Lives Matter movement responding to white privilege and police violence, and especially the scheduling and delay of Kelly Gissendaner’s execution (an inmate at Lee Arrendale State Prison, where I worked as a chaplain intern last year). I also withdrew from a class for the first time ever, because the professor was a bully and I felt like I wasn’t learning anything.
I feel like an outsider here in a number of ways. It has been challenging for me to be the only Quaker at Candler, where I am frequently called on to educate people about the Religious Society of Friends and to represent Friends. In the Pacific Northwest, my politics seem pretty moderate; here, people consider me extremely liberal. I miss the diversity of Friends in the Pacific Northwest and the ways Convergent Friends interact and worship together.
I finished my contextual education at Atlanta Friends Meeting this spring. My main focus this past semester was on the meeting’s Gathered Meeting Retreat, which took place the last weekend of March. The theme was “How Friends Worship.” Over the weekend, we tried various prayer practices, talked about the language we use for the divine, and shared about our experiences in unprogrammed worship. On Sunday morning, we had semi-programmed worship, Bible reading in the manner of Ohio Yearly Meeting Conservative Friends, and unprogrammed worship. I was glad to have the opportunity to lead this retreat; it felt like a good use of my gifts.
One of the purposes of seminary is to make students confront their own issues and unhealthy patterns. Over the winter, I began seeing a new therapist who has both an MDiv and a Ph.D from Emory---a good fit for me right now. She and I did good work together, particularly around anxiety, sexuality, and attachment. I have continued to see my spiritual director monthly, and a third person joined my anchoring committee. I have a strong support system, which is reassuring for me.
Looking ahead to next year, there are a number of things I am excited about. I agreed to serve on the board of trustees for Friends Journal, and decided to step down from the Sacred Worth executive board to make time for that new commitment. My MDiv thesis proposal was approved: I will be writing about how women ministers’ bodies are seen as both threatening and threatened. I also will be participating in Candler Advantage, which will provide me with an $8,000 grant and three credits for spending the summer working at First Friends Meeting in Greensboro, NC. I am excited to spend time in a programmed, FUM meeting, and I am looking forward to preaching and gaining experience in pastoral care and administration there.
In some ways, it is hard to believe that I am two-thirds of my way through seminary, though in other ways it has felt very long. I am starting to think more about what I want to do after I am finished with school here, and hoping to find a place and a job where I can settle for a while. Thank you for your love and support.
People say that the second year of seminary is the hardest. Academically, this year was not as challenging as I expected, but it has been emotionally difficult. Many things in the culture had an impact on people in my program, including the Black Lives Matter movement responding to white privilege and police violence, and especially the scheduling and delay of Kelly Gissendaner’s execution (an inmate at Lee Arrendale State Prison, where I worked as a chaplain intern last year). I also withdrew from a class for the first time ever, because the professor was a bully and I felt like I wasn’t learning anything.
I feel like an outsider here in a number of ways. It has been challenging for me to be the only Quaker at Candler, where I am frequently called on to educate people about the Religious Society of Friends and to represent Friends. In the Pacific Northwest, my politics seem pretty moderate; here, people consider me extremely liberal. I miss the diversity of Friends in the Pacific Northwest and the ways Convergent Friends interact and worship together.
I finished my contextual education at Atlanta Friends Meeting this spring. My main focus this past semester was on the meeting’s Gathered Meeting Retreat, which took place the last weekend of March. The theme was “How Friends Worship.” Over the weekend, we tried various prayer practices, talked about the language we use for the divine, and shared about our experiences in unprogrammed worship. On Sunday morning, we had semi-programmed worship, Bible reading in the manner of Ohio Yearly Meeting Conservative Friends, and unprogrammed worship. I was glad to have the opportunity to lead this retreat; it felt like a good use of my gifts.
One of the purposes of seminary is to make students confront their own issues and unhealthy patterns. Over the winter, I began seeing a new therapist who has both an MDiv and a Ph.D from Emory---a good fit for me right now. She and I did good work together, particularly around anxiety, sexuality, and attachment. I have continued to see my spiritual director monthly, and a third person joined my anchoring committee. I have a strong support system, which is reassuring for me.
Looking ahead to next year, there are a number of things I am excited about. I agreed to serve on the board of trustees for Friends Journal, and decided to step down from the Sacred Worth executive board to make time for that new commitment. My MDiv thesis proposal was approved: I will be writing about how women ministers’ bodies are seen as both threatening and threatened. I also will be participating in Candler Advantage, which will provide me with an $8,000 grant and three credits for spending the summer working at First Friends Meeting in Greensboro, NC. I am excited to spend time in a programmed, FUM meeting, and I am looking forward to preaching and gaining experience in pastoral care and administration there.
In some ways, it is hard to believe that I am two-thirds of my way through seminary, though in other ways it has felt very long. I am starting to think more about what I want to do after I am finished with school here, and hoping to find a place and a job where I can settle for a while. Thank you for your love and support.
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Seven Years
Today marks seven years since I started this blog. That's kind of hard for me to believe. Seven years ago, I was a brand new lawyer, living in Seattle, working for a court. Since then, I have moved several times, left the law (mostly) behind, and started seminary. When I began writing here, I had no idea that within a few months I would start years of traveling ministry among Friends or that I would eventually be recorded as a minister. I just knew that I had to write.
Over the years, I have used my blog for different purposes. It has often been a way for me to tell those I love who live far away what I am doing. Sometimes I have responded to something specific that is happening in Friends or the culture. I have shared traveling minutes and annual reports. Recently, it has been a place to post some of the writing I am doing for school and my reflections on being a Quaker at Candler School of Theology.
Writing here led to writing elsewhere. Pieces of mine have been featured in four Quaker anthologies (Writing Cheerfully on the Web, Enlivened by the Mystery, Spirit Rising, and An Inner Strength), as well as in Friends Journal and Western Friend. A lot of that writing appeared here first. The blog itself has been a useful archive for my writing over time. When Friends ask for resources on particular topics, like vocal ministry, eldering, or the recording process, I can point them to posts I have written over the years.
One thing I did not expect when I started blogging was the people I would meet through it. Some of my dear friends and peers in ministry are people that I first met online, because we read each others' posts. The Quaker blogosphere has changed a lot since I first started—back then, we used to follow each others' blogs and comment on posts; now, most of those conversations happens on social media. I am grateful for the online community that I found and the relationships that have strengthened over time.
Even though I do not write as much as I once did, I am glad to have this small online platform when I do have something to say. The quote in my header has challenged me to look at "the nature of all things"—the good and the bad—and face those things head on. I am thankful for all of the people who have read and commented, online and in person. These conversations have been encouraging and helped to keep me accountable as I continue on this quest.
Over the years, I have used my blog for different purposes. It has often been a way for me to tell those I love who live far away what I am doing. Sometimes I have responded to something specific that is happening in Friends or the culture. I have shared traveling minutes and annual reports. Recently, it has been a place to post some of the writing I am doing for school and my reflections on being a Quaker at Candler School of Theology.
Writing here led to writing elsewhere. Pieces of mine have been featured in four Quaker anthologies (Writing Cheerfully on the Web, Enlivened by the Mystery, Spirit Rising, and An Inner Strength), as well as in Friends Journal and Western Friend. A lot of that writing appeared here first. The blog itself has been a useful archive for my writing over time. When Friends ask for resources on particular topics, like vocal ministry, eldering, or the recording process, I can point them to posts I have written over the years.
One thing I did not expect when I started blogging was the people I would meet through it. Some of my dear friends and peers in ministry are people that I first met online, because we read each others' posts. The Quaker blogosphere has changed a lot since I first started—back then, we used to follow each others' blogs and comment on posts; now, most of those conversations happens on social media. I am grateful for the online community that I found and the relationships that have strengthened over time.
Even though I do not write as much as I once did, I am glad to have this small online platform when I do have something to say. The quote in my header has challenged me to look at "the nature of all things"—the good and the bad—and face those things head on. I am thankful for all of the people who have read and commented, online and in person. These conversations have been encouraging and helped to keep me accountable as I continue on this quest.
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Give Quakers Your Money
It's the end of the year and you know what that means: lots of emails from Quaker nonprofit organizations asking for end-of-the-year contributions. I mentioned this on Twitter today and my friend Kathy H suggested I "do a a year-end blog post reviewing year-end appeals from Quaker organizations."
I don't think I'm up for writing reviews, but I can make a list! Here are quotes from the Friends organizations I've heard from in the last week. Click on the name of the organization to donate.
Happy new year, Friends!
I don't think I'm up for writing reviews, but I can make a list! Here are quotes from the Friends organizations I've heard from in the last week. Click on the name of the organization to donate.
- School of the Spirit: Your donation will help "the new Core Teaching team . . . to meet together as they prepare for the next On Being a Spiritual Nurturer class."
- Quaker Voluntary Service: "Your support is vital in creating opportunities for Spirit-led witness, in the long tradition of Quaker service. We are raising funds to support the QVS programs in Atlanta, Philadelphia, and Portland."
- Friends Journal: "Your tax-deductible online gift will help Friends Journal continue to be a unifying and empowering force for Friends."
- Friends World Committee for Consultation: "Answering God's call to universal love, the Friends World Committee brings Friends of varying traditions and cultural experiences together in worship, communications and consultation, to express our common heritage and our Quaker message to the world."
- Friends General Conference: "From the Gathering to the Quaker Cloud, from the New Meetings Project to Quaker Quest, together we’ve done so much to build and strengthen the Religious Society of Friends."
- Pendle Hill: "Contributions allow us to provide experiences that inspire leadership, service, spiritual enrichment, and action for peace and justice."
- American Friends Service Committee: "Help build peace, push for immigrant rights, address prison issues, end discrimination, and advocate for just economies."
Happy new year, Friends!
Friday, September 19, 2014
Pastoral Authority in Unprogrammed Friends
[As part of my second year in a Master of Divinity program at Candler School of Theology, I am required to spend eight hours a week in an ecclesial setting. My site is Atlanta Friends Meeting, where I am a sojourning member. This week, in the class connected with that site work, we were asked to interview our site mentor about his or her views on pastoral authority and leadership. These are my reflections on our conversation.]
When I interviewed my site mentor, Paul B, about his understanding of pastoral authority and leadership, we agreed that it is a tricky question for unprogrammed Friends. In my site, Atlanta Friends Meeting (AFM), there is no pastoral staff. Paul stated that the pastoral nature of Quakerism is that the community cares for itself instead of having a designated pastor or minister to provide care. Thus, every Friend has an obligation to support the community.
At AFM, we do have a committee that focuses on pastoral care, the Care and Counsel committee. That committee is made up of people who choose to be on it and serve for a designated term. The committee draws people who are gifted in pastoral care, but they are not the only people who provide pastoral care in the meeting. One of the tensions in an unprogrammed meeting is how to hold (mostly) volunteers accountable. Having people rotate off the committee after their term is one way to do that.
As we spoke, the primary metaphor that Paul used for pastoral care was the body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:27). Christ is the head of our meeting and we are the body. Within that body, people care for each other and provide care as needed. Friends are resistant to the idea of authority, other than the authority that comes from the Holy Spirit, but we do recognize the need for leadership.
Three committees in AFM cover three of the roles that a pastor traditionally fills. Care and Counsel provides pastoral care as described above. The Ministry and Worship committee focuses on the worship within the meeting and attends to things like weddings, support for ministry, and applications for membership (I serve on the Ministry and Worship committee). We also have a Social Concerns committee, which connects the meeting to the larger community context and does outreach.
Reflecting on this conversation, I agree that the body of Christ is a very good metaphor for pastoral care in a Friends meeting. I also realized that my personal metaphor for ministry has been the story of Peter’s shadow falling on people and healing them (Acts 5:15). In that story, if Peter’s shadow is behind him as he walks, he will never know whom he is healing.
I have been a public minister among Friends for over six years now, and in that time I have lived in four different cities. Each time I moved, I felt like God was calling me to the next place, but it has been very hard for me. I feel like I have been planting seeds in ministry, but I do not get to stay long enough to see how they grow or if they bear fruit. I have to trust that God is working through me even as I move on.
Having a year to spend deeply involved in the life of the meeting at AFM feels like a gift. My site mentors and I are still discerning what ministry will look like for me in this context, but I know that there are needs in the meeting and that I have gifts to bring. I am also grateful that I will not be doing this work alone. We have a well-developed committee structure with many people bringing their time, gifts, and skills to support this community of Friends.
When I interviewed my site mentor, Paul B, about his understanding of pastoral authority and leadership, we agreed that it is a tricky question for unprogrammed Friends. In my site, Atlanta Friends Meeting (AFM), there is no pastoral staff. Paul stated that the pastoral nature of Quakerism is that the community cares for itself instead of having a designated pastor or minister to provide care. Thus, every Friend has an obligation to support the community.
At AFM, we do have a committee that focuses on pastoral care, the Care and Counsel committee. That committee is made up of people who choose to be on it and serve for a designated term. The committee draws people who are gifted in pastoral care, but they are not the only people who provide pastoral care in the meeting. One of the tensions in an unprogrammed meeting is how to hold (mostly) volunteers accountable. Having people rotate off the committee after their term is one way to do that.
As we spoke, the primary metaphor that Paul used for pastoral care was the body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:27). Christ is the head of our meeting and we are the body. Within that body, people care for each other and provide care as needed. Friends are resistant to the idea of authority, other than the authority that comes from the Holy Spirit, but we do recognize the need for leadership.
Three committees in AFM cover three of the roles that a pastor traditionally fills. Care and Counsel provides pastoral care as described above. The Ministry and Worship committee focuses on the worship within the meeting and attends to things like weddings, support for ministry, and applications for membership (I serve on the Ministry and Worship committee). We also have a Social Concerns committee, which connects the meeting to the larger community context and does outreach.
Reflecting on this conversation, I agree that the body of Christ is a very good metaphor for pastoral care in a Friends meeting. I also realized that my personal metaphor for ministry has been the story of Peter’s shadow falling on people and healing them (Acts 5:15). In that story, if Peter’s shadow is behind him as he walks, he will never know whom he is healing.
I have been a public minister among Friends for over six years now, and in that time I have lived in four different cities. Each time I moved, I felt like God was calling me to the next place, but it has been very hard for me. I feel like I have been planting seeds in ministry, but I do not get to stay long enough to see how they grow or if they bear fruit. I have to trust that God is working through me even as I move on.
Having a year to spend deeply involved in the life of the meeting at AFM feels like a gift. My site mentors and I are still discerning what ministry will look like for me in this context, but I know that there are needs in the meeting and that I have gifts to bring. I am also grateful that I will not be doing this work alone. We have a well-developed committee structure with many people bringing their time, gifts, and skills to support this community of Friends.
Monday, September 15, 2014
Recording Resources
A few weeks ago, a Friend wrote me asking if I knew of any resources about the Quaker process for recording ministers. He said he was new to this, and it had been hard to find resources online. I compiled a list of resources for him, and thought it might be useful for others as well.
My home meeting, Freedom Friends Church, has a page of resources on recorded ministry.
Here is a YouTube video of me talking about my recording process with Friends Journal:
I also posted quite a bit about the process of being recorded on my blog under the Recording label, as well as sharing stories from other women who have been recorded as ministers.
Steven Davidson wrote about some of the objections to recording in an article called Recording Gifts of Ministry in New York Yearly Meeting's Spark. (See also Resources on Ministry.)
I highly recommend Brian Drayton's book On Living with a Concern for Gospel Ministry. The whole book is excellent, but he talks specifically about his experience of being a recorded minister and reporting back to his meeting in Appendix 1 and 2.
Are there other resources you would recommend, Friends?
My home meeting, Freedom Friends Church, has a page of resources on recorded ministry.
Here is a YouTube video of me talking about my recording process with Friends Journal:
I also posted quite a bit about the process of being recorded on my blog under the Recording label, as well as sharing stories from other women who have been recorded as ministers.
Steven Davidson wrote about some of the objections to recording in an article called Recording Gifts of Ministry in New York Yearly Meeting's Spark. (See also Resources on Ministry.)
I highly recommend Brian Drayton's book On Living with a Concern for Gospel Ministry. The whole book is excellent, but he talks specifically about his experience of being a recorded minister and reporting back to his meeting in Appendix 1 and 2.
Are there other resources you would recommend, Friends?
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Quaker Fame
"You might say they are going through fame puberty—the awkward stage." Nick PaumgartenFor the past year, I have been going to Quaker events and hiding. I wrote about this a little after the FGC Gathering last year (where I actually started carrying around a disguise). I said then that I was having a hard time with my rising level of "Quaker celebrity." It is something that is still a struggle for me.
Few things will throw me off center at a Quaker event faster than when someone knows who I am and I have no idea who they are. A Friend will introduce me in conversation and the other person's face will light up. I feel dread because I know they have read something I have written, or heard me speak, or heard about me some other way. I never know what to do, and any response on my part feels awkward and ungracious.
I read the quote above in the New Yorker a few days ago and it spoke to my condition. I feel like I have been going through an extended fame puberty. Fortunately, I have been able to speak about this with some trusted elders over the past few months, and they have given me some good advice:
1. I need to find ways to acknowledge that God is working through me when I do ministry. It is especially awkward for me when people compliment me on a message I have given, because I feel strongly that those messages come from God. At heart, my ministry is to help people experience the presence of God. When they experience God through me, it can be a powerful and attractive experience. It is important for me to be clear that I am the conduit, not the source.
2. If I keep doing this work, this will keep happening. I think part of the reason that I respond so poorly is because I act like every time I am recognized, it is the first time or totally unexpected. I need to stop acting that way and start putting together a toolkit for how to respond when this happens.
3. I need to find a Quaker space that is restorative for me. A couple people have encouraged me to find somewhere that I can go not as a minister, but to worship and rest. This may involve sending a message to the organizers in advance about my needs and how I want to participate.
All of this is complicated by the fact that Friends pretend like we don't have celebrities. It is very hard to claim a level of fame when Quakers want to believe that we are all equal in every way. But I think it is important to do so for me to be able to grow out of this "fame puberty," and I am going to claim this:
I am a minor celebrity in a small denomination.
How did it make you feel to read that? Was it funny? Did it seem like not a big deal? Or did it make you want to reassure me that, really, I'm not that famous?
Friday, April 25, 2014
Quakers and Women in Ministry (Video)
In February, I had the opportunity to go to Philadelphia to observe the Friends Journal board meeting for a school project. While I was there, Jon Watts interviewed me for Friends Journal's new QuakerSpeak project. We talked about a lot of things, including my recording process, vocal ministry, my home meeting, Freedom Friends Church, and women in ministry.
I feel honored to be featured in this week's QuakerSpeak video about Quakers and women in ministry, along with Marcelle Martin, Carole Spencer, and others. This video does a great job of explaining Friends' history of women in ministry, as well as talking about some of the ongoing challenges for women in ministry.
I am very excited about the QuakerSpeak project, and I look forward to the ways that QuakerSpeak will share information about Friends today in its weekly videos. Good work, Friends!
I feel honored to be featured in this week's QuakerSpeak video about Quakers and women in ministry, along with Marcelle Martin, Carole Spencer, and others. This video does a great job of explaining Friends' history of women in ministry, as well as talking about some of the ongoing challenges for women in ministry.
I am very excited about the QuakerSpeak project, and I look forward to the ways that QuakerSpeak will share information about Friends today in its weekly videos. Good work, Friends!
Thursday, January 23, 2014
A Date
[This semester, I am taking a class called Vocational Discernment for a Sustained Life of Ministry. Our first assignment was to write a creative conversation in which we discuss our call to ministry with another person. This is my paper.]
I have been going on a lot of dates lately and inevitably at some point during the date, the conversation turns to how I am in seminary and that I am a Quaker. Here is an only slightly exaggerated version of how those conversations go.
DATE: So, you’re in seminary. Does that mean you want to be a minister?
ME: Actually, I already am a minister. I was recorded as a minister by my Quaker meeting last June.
DATE: Recorded? What does that mean?
ME: Quakers do not have ordination―we believe that only God can ordain ministers. Instead, Friends observe and record the gifts of ministry. My meeting observed my gifts of minister over several years, then I went through a recording process, and the meeting recorded me as a minister in a special business meeting.
DATE: I don’t really know much about Quakers. How are they different from other denominations?
ME: Quakers believe that everyone has direct access to God. Instead of looking outside ourselves for guidance, we turn to the inward Christ, or the light of God that we believe is inside of each of us to guide us.
DATE: If we all have God inside of us, why do Quakers need to get together in groups? Can’t you just turn inward?
ME: A couple reasons. One is that we are not always good at discerning what is coming from God and what is coming from us. Our Quaker meetings help us to tell the difference. Also, we believe that God can speak to us through anyone, so during our meetings, we wait in silence to see if anyone will feel led by God to speak.
DATE: Wait, do you hear God talking to you?
ME: Yes, I believe I do. I hear God in the things that other people say to me, and in the things they do without speaking. I also hear God in messages in meeting, and in nudges that I feel throughout the day to do or not do something, or to hold someone in prayer.
DATE: But have you ever heard God speak to you directly, with words?
ME: Yes. That doesn’t happen very often, but I have experienced it.
DATE: Can you tell me about a time when it happened?
ME: A good example is the story that I consider my call to ministry.
It was in 2008, at the Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s Theology Conference. I enjoyed the conference very much, but by the end of it, I felt exhausted and very ready to go home. I had agreed to be co-clerk of the planning committee for the next conference, and I was feeling overwhelmed because I had never done anything like that before.
I was sitting in our final worship for the conference when I heard God say to me, “It’s not always going to be this easy.”
I said, “What?” Of all the words I could think of to describe my experience at the conference, “easy” was not one of them.
God responded, “Yes, this is the easy part. It is going to be a lot harder after this. But I will be there too.”
DATE: Wow. That sounds intense.
ME: It was.
DATE: Has it been hard?
ME: Yes, sometimes ministry has been very hard. I tend to resist God―mostly out of fear―making it harder for myself. But I have always had the sense that God is with me.
DATE: I get the sense that for you, ministry means something different from being a pastor of a church. Is that right?
ME: Being a pastor is one form of ministry, but I do not feel called to pastoral ministry right now. My ministry has taken lots of forms: I have done traveling ministry among different branches of Friends, I lead workshops and preach, and I do quite a bit of writing. I try to stay open to what I feel God is calling me to do.
DATE: But what about seminary? Why go to seminary if you are already a minister?
ME: One reason is that I carry a concern for supporting leaders in the Religious Society of Friends. We don’t always do a good job of supporting leaders, and I wanted to go to a school that was clear in its support of leadership and bring what I learned there back to my denomination.
I was also hoping that seminary would help me learn how to have a sustained life of ministry. Burnout is far too common, and I would like to be able to do this for as long as I feel God is calling me.
DATE: I know that you are also a lawyer. Are you planning to continue practicing law?
ME: I am doing some legal work while I am in seminary to help pay the bills, but I am hoping to transition to full-time ministry over the next few years.
DATE: And you’re from Alaska? Are you planning on going back there after you finish seminary? Or back to Oregon?
ME: Probably not. I love the Pacific Northwest, but I will probably go wherever I find a job.
DATE: It sounds like you are going through a lot of changes in your life right now!
ME: Indeed. How about you? Let’s talk about you for a while!
I have been going on a lot of dates lately and inevitably at some point during the date, the conversation turns to how I am in seminary and that I am a Quaker. Here is an only slightly exaggerated version of how those conversations go.
DATE: So, you’re in seminary. Does that mean you want to be a minister?
ME: Actually, I already am a minister. I was recorded as a minister by my Quaker meeting last June.
DATE: Recorded? What does that mean?
ME: Quakers do not have ordination―we believe that only God can ordain ministers. Instead, Friends observe and record the gifts of ministry. My meeting observed my gifts of minister over several years, then I went through a recording process, and the meeting recorded me as a minister in a special business meeting.
DATE: I don’t really know much about Quakers. How are they different from other denominations?
ME: Quakers believe that everyone has direct access to God. Instead of looking outside ourselves for guidance, we turn to the inward Christ, or the light of God that we believe is inside of each of us to guide us.
DATE: If we all have God inside of us, why do Quakers need to get together in groups? Can’t you just turn inward?
ME: A couple reasons. One is that we are not always good at discerning what is coming from God and what is coming from us. Our Quaker meetings help us to tell the difference. Also, we believe that God can speak to us through anyone, so during our meetings, we wait in silence to see if anyone will feel led by God to speak.
DATE: Wait, do you hear God talking to you?
ME: Yes, I believe I do. I hear God in the things that other people say to me, and in the things they do without speaking. I also hear God in messages in meeting, and in nudges that I feel throughout the day to do or not do something, or to hold someone in prayer.
DATE: But have you ever heard God speak to you directly, with words?
ME: Yes. That doesn’t happen very often, but I have experienced it.
DATE: Can you tell me about a time when it happened?
ME: A good example is the story that I consider my call to ministry.
It was in 2008, at the Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s Theology Conference. I enjoyed the conference very much, but by the end of it, I felt exhausted and very ready to go home. I had agreed to be co-clerk of the planning committee for the next conference, and I was feeling overwhelmed because I had never done anything like that before.
I was sitting in our final worship for the conference when I heard God say to me, “It’s not always going to be this easy.”
I said, “What?” Of all the words I could think of to describe my experience at the conference, “easy” was not one of them.
God responded, “Yes, this is the easy part. It is going to be a lot harder after this. But I will be there too.”
DATE: Wow. That sounds intense.
ME: It was.
DATE: Has it been hard?
ME: Yes, sometimes ministry has been very hard. I tend to resist God―mostly out of fear―making it harder for myself. But I have always had the sense that God is with me.
DATE: I get the sense that for you, ministry means something different from being a pastor of a church. Is that right?
ME: Being a pastor is one form of ministry, but I do not feel called to pastoral ministry right now. My ministry has taken lots of forms: I have done traveling ministry among different branches of Friends, I lead workshops and preach, and I do quite a bit of writing. I try to stay open to what I feel God is calling me to do.
DATE: But what about seminary? Why go to seminary if you are already a minister?
ME: One reason is that I carry a concern for supporting leaders in the Religious Society of Friends. We don’t always do a good job of supporting leaders, and I wanted to go to a school that was clear in its support of leadership and bring what I learned there back to my denomination.
I was also hoping that seminary would help me learn how to have a sustained life of ministry. Burnout is far too common, and I would like to be able to do this for as long as I feel God is calling me.
DATE: I know that you are also a lawyer. Are you planning to continue practicing law?
ME: I am doing some legal work while I am in seminary to help pay the bills, but I am hoping to transition to full-time ministry over the next few years.
DATE: And you’re from Alaska? Are you planning on going back there after you finish seminary? Or back to Oregon?
ME: Probably not. I love the Pacific Northwest, but I will probably go wherever I find a job.
DATE: It sounds like you are going through a lot of changes in your life right now!
ME: Indeed. How about you? Let’s talk about you for a while!
Friday, September 20, 2013
More Thoughts on Recording
The night before I went to preach at Camas Friends Church, I had a dream. I dreamed that I was sitting in the Camas Friends meeting room, waiting to give the message. In my dream, the announcements and introductions went on and on, and I began to get anxious that there would not be space for me to speak. To my horror, I saw people standing to leave. One by one, they quietly walked out of the room. But when I looked to my right, I saw a small girl sitting on the bench next to me. She looked up at me, her eyes wide, and said, "Are you going to be the preacher today?" Then I woke up.
I have been in Atlanta for a month now, and it has been a bit of a bumpy landing. There are things that I love about studying at Candler School of Theology: my classes are interesting, the professors are brilliant and entertaining, and my classmates are caring and thoughtful. But I have also experienced a fair amount of culture shock. I am adjusting to living in the South and being a full-time student again after several years of working as a lawyer. I am also the only Quaker in a Methodist seminary, which has its own challenges.
One thing I did not anticipate was how big of a deal my recording would be here.
Because it is the beginning of the year, I often find myself in classrooms where we go around the room and introduce ourselves. For many of my classmates, the introduction goes like this: "My name is Jessie and I am United Methodist, on the ordination track in the North Georgia Conference."
When it's my turn to introduce myself, I usually say, "My name is Ashley and I am a Quaker (a member of the Religious Society of Friends). I am a recorded Quaker minister (the Quaker version of ordination)."
When I say that, people's eyebrows go up. They shift in their chairs. Last week, a professor said to me, "So, you're just here for the education."
It's true. For many of my classmates, they need to go to seminary in order to be ordained in their denominations. As a Friend, I do not need the degree to be a minister (in fact, several Friends tried to talk me out of it before I came here).
I am grateful for my recording, and it is still new enough that I am trying to figure out what it means to me and for my ministry. I sometimes think it means more to non-Friends than it does to Friends.
A few days ago, I had a conversation with a friend who should be recorded. She has a clear call to ministry and has been deeply involved in public ministry among Friends, which is bearing fruit. But her yearly meeting does not record ministers.
She said that, in a conversation with another minister, she blurted out, "I wish they would just record me!" The other (recorded) minister reminded her that recording is not something to take lightly.
While I agree on one level, I also think that, when someone is doing public ministry, eventually the lack of recording can become a burden, and it is a burden that the meeting should take up. It is the responsibility of the meeting to provide support and accountability for public ministers, and recording is the way that Friends traditionally have shown their intention to provide that support and accountability.
I also think this weighs heavier on women than men. It is true that yearly meetings that do not record ministers do not discriminate between women and men (neither are recorded). However, that does not take into account all of the voices that women hear telling them that they cannot do ministry. There are entire denominations that will not allow women to preach or even teach men. It is still unusual for a little girl to hear a woman preach. And when Friends say that they will not record ministers, that is one more voice telling women that they cannot be ministers.
Recording is important, Friends. Especially the recording of women. We need to take a look around and recognize the gifts that God has given to our meetings and find ways to support the Friends who are sharing those gifts with us.
I have been in Atlanta for a month now, and it has been a bit of a bumpy landing. There are things that I love about studying at Candler School of Theology: my classes are interesting, the professors are brilliant and entertaining, and my classmates are caring and thoughtful. But I have also experienced a fair amount of culture shock. I am adjusting to living in the South and being a full-time student again after several years of working as a lawyer. I am also the only Quaker in a Methodist seminary, which has its own challenges.
One thing I did not anticipate was how big of a deal my recording would be here.
Because it is the beginning of the year, I often find myself in classrooms where we go around the room and introduce ourselves. For many of my classmates, the introduction goes like this: "My name is Jessie and I am United Methodist, on the ordination track in the North Georgia Conference."
When it's my turn to introduce myself, I usually say, "My name is Ashley and I am a Quaker (a member of the Religious Society of Friends). I am a recorded Quaker minister (the Quaker version of ordination)."
When I say that, people's eyebrows go up. They shift in their chairs. Last week, a professor said to me, "So, you're just here for the education."
It's true. For many of my classmates, they need to go to seminary in order to be ordained in their denominations. As a Friend, I do not need the degree to be a minister (in fact, several Friends tried to talk me out of it before I came here).
I am grateful for my recording, and it is still new enough that I am trying to figure out what it means to me and for my ministry. I sometimes think it means more to non-Friends than it does to Friends.
A few days ago, I had a conversation with a friend who should be recorded. She has a clear call to ministry and has been deeply involved in public ministry among Friends, which is bearing fruit. But her yearly meeting does not record ministers.
She said that, in a conversation with another minister, she blurted out, "I wish they would just record me!" The other (recorded) minister reminded her that recording is not something to take lightly.
While I agree on one level, I also think that, when someone is doing public ministry, eventually the lack of recording can become a burden, and it is a burden that the meeting should take up. It is the responsibility of the meeting to provide support and accountability for public ministers, and recording is the way that Friends traditionally have shown their intention to provide that support and accountability.
I also think this weighs heavier on women than men. It is true that yearly meetings that do not record ministers do not discriminate between women and men (neither are recorded). However, that does not take into account all of the voices that women hear telling them that they cannot do ministry. There are entire denominations that will not allow women to preach or even teach men. It is still unusual for a little girl to hear a woman preach. And when Friends say that they will not record ministers, that is one more voice telling women that they cannot be ministers.
Recording is important, Friends. Especially the recording of women. We need to take a look around and recognize the gifts that God has given to our meetings and find ways to support the Friends who are sharing those gifts with us.
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Thoughts on Leadings II
A message I gave at Freedom Friends Church this morning during open worship:
[If you would like to hear a recording of a longer message, the message I gave in programmed worship at Camas Friends Church last Sunday is now available for streaming online and on iTunes.]
Earlier this week, I had a conversation with a woman who is not a Quaker (she is a member of a UCC church). She asked me what Friends do when people have leadings that seem to be at odds with each other. I said that it is like when you are in unprogrammed worship at a large meeting, and two people stand to speak at the same time. They both may have true leadings from the Spirit to speak in that moment, but they can't both speak at the same time. One of them has to sit down.
[If you would like to hear a recording of a longer message, the message I gave in programmed worship at Camas Friends Church last Sunday is now available for streaming online and on iTunes.]
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
My People
Send down the fire of your justice
Send down the rains of your love
Send down your Spirit, breathe life in your people
Make us the people of God
I have spent a lot of time over the past five years traveling among Friends, both in person and online. I have been to evangelical, liberal, and conservative yearly meetings. I have worshiped with Friends in meetinghouses and churches from Alaska to Nairobi. I have read posts by Friends who are as close to me as family and by others who I have never met, but who I know to be kindred spirits.
All of this travel among Friends has been a privilege and a blessing. It has also given me a vantage point on the Religious Society of Friends that I think is unusual. I was reminded of that yesterday when I saw two posts online by Friends.
The first was by Becky A, who is currently serving as superintendent of Northwest Yearly Meeting. In her post, On Our Way Rejoicing, Becky wondered what it is that Friends do together that is so worthwhile. She proposed the following statement:
The NWYM of Friends churches are compelled to share the good news that Jesus Christ is alive and present today to teach us himself; that we identify ourselves as Friends of Jesus when we do what Jesus tells us to do individually and corporately; and that this Friendship is open to all.The second post was by Cat C-B, entitled An Open Letter to my Christian Quaker Friends: Part 1 of 2. In her post, Cat said,
. . .the same spiritual integrity that made me show up and keep showing up for Quaker meetings--because I was called, and I knew it--has also kept me loyal to and part of the Pagan community that formed for me a soul capable of hearing a spiritual call in the first place.For someone looking in from the outside, it might seem impossible that these people are part of the same religious society. But I know better. I have followed the ministry of both of these women for years, and I can attest that they are both faithful Friends.
It is hard for me, when I travel among Friends, to hear the ways that some Friends fear other Friends. I wish all of you could see what I see.
We are all working so hard to be faithful. We are trying to listen to the voice of the Spirit, however we name that divine presence. Friends are also making a valiant effort to listen to each other across our differences, but we sometimes end up hurting each other, often through misunderstandings of the language we use.
Whenever I am with Friends, regardless of the kind of Friends, there is always a moment when I have the clear sense that these are my people. It is not always the same—sometimes that feeling comes in open worship, other times in prayer, singing, or individual conversations. Regardless of how it happens, I know then that these are Friends who are committed to each other and to listening to the voice of the Spirit together.
But now I am preparing to leave my Quaker bubble. In just over a month, I will be moving to Atlanta to be a part of a different faith community: my class at Candler School of Theology, a Methodist seminary.
When I was coming back from the World Conference of Friends last year, I had a fairly long layover in the London airport. There were several Friends around, and I ran into them a few times. I was sitting on my own in one of the lounge areas, when I heard a clear message:
Go to the chapel to be with your people.I shrugged and said, okay—it wasn't like I was doing anything. I had spent time in the chapel during my layover on the way to Kenya, so I knew where it was. I had the vague idea that I might find some other Friends in there and we could have a final meeting for worship.
But that's not who was there.
When I went into the chapel and settled into prayer, the people who joined me were: Hasidic Jews, wrapping tefillin. Muslims praying toward Mecca. A young Catholic woman making her way through the Rosary.
Quakers are my people. And those are my people. We are the people of God.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
FGC Gathering: Some Thoughts on Privilege
There were several themes in the air at the FGC Gathering, and one of them was the concept of privilege. I heard at least two messages in meeting for worship about privilege, and I know many people were in conversation about it.
All of that made me think about the difference between privilege and privilege.
I think you know what I mean, but just in case, here's an illustration. Imagine a middle-aged man beginning to give a talk by saying, "I feel so privileged to be here tonight." Now imagine a young woman with hairy legs and a shaking voice saying to that man, "Check your privilege."
It's the same man. He has the same amount of privilege. But it's different, right?
As I write this, I am keenly aware that I am a newcomer to this conversation. But I sense an opening, in myself and in the Religious Society of Friends, that we are ready to engage more deeply on this issue.
Part of that opening is inspired by two recent posts by Joanna H (Privilege, part 1 and Privilege, part 2). I also know that many Friends (and others) have been working hard on this issue for years. Ones that come immediately to mind are Liz O, Vanessa J, Jeanne B, and George L, and I know there are many more.
This is not meant to be a treatise on privilege. Rather, I am taking a page from Parker Palmer and trying to write about something I don't completely understand. I know it is challenging, and I appreciate you hanging in there with me.
It feels disingenuous to talk about the ways I feel marginalized without first acknowledging my own privilege. Yesterday, a co-worker and I took a minute to list all of the ways we could think of that I am privileged. It was a long list.
I am: white, able-bodied, blue-eyed, Christian, reasonably attractive and fit, very well-educated, employed, cisgender, and a U.S. citizen. I come from a middle class background and I have a vast safety net of family and friends. Although I identify as bisexual, I usually come across as straight, which means that I have the choice of whether and when to reveal my sexual orientation. The list goes on. I did not do anything to earn this privilege, and all of these things make my life easier.
I am also a woman and a young adult Friend.
Over the past few years as I have traveled among Friends, I have encountered assumptions about me and about who we are as Friends that make me feel alienated as a woman and a young person. [Note: it feels a little strange for me to identify here as young. I am 31. In all other parts of my life, I am a real adult. But in the context of the Religious Society of Friends, I am young and I am grouped into Young Adult Friends (YAFs), regardless of whether I identify as one.]
This post is about the ways I have felt marginalized by my gender and age. I am not trying to fix things. I am just going to list of some of the assumptions I have come across and attempt to explain why they make me feel "other." Although I am trying to separate them out, there is some overlap.
Assumption #1: YAFs do not have much Quaker experience (and have lots of free time). Last year, when I was in Kenya for the World Conference of Friends, a woman sat down next to me at breakfast. She mentioned that she was on a nominating committee and asked me what my gifts and talents were. I told her that I was pretty busy. She said, "You're young, how busy could you be?" At the time, I was clerk of my meeting in addition to holding down a full-time legal job.
Assumption #2: We all have the same amount of money. We don't. Some people, when they want to go to a Quaker event, just write a check. I don't think I have ever paid a full registration fee for a Quaker event. In order to go to the FGC Gathering this summer, I had four grants (the Pickett Endowment, a workgrant for leading a workshop, a travel grant, and a scholarship from my meeting). Young people are more likely to be taking the cheaper options: sharing rooms, getting fewer meals, or camping. YAFs are less likely to have vacation homes. At the World Conference of Friends, much was made of having Friends pay their fair share based on their home countries' gross domestic product. But while we were there, a YAF from one of the wealthiest countries confided in me that she had been homeless just months before the conference.
Assumption #3: The people who want to be there, are. Sometimes when older Friends sigh and say, "Where are the young people?" I want to respond, "They are at work!" We do not all have flexible schedules. I am fortunate enough to have a job with paid vacation leave, but even so, I had to save up for months to have enough vacation time to go to the Gathering for a week. It is time I did not spend on other vacation or to see my family. Young Friends are working to pay rent, support their families, or pay off student loans and other debt. YAFs have to carefully discern whether to attend Quaker events.
Assumption #4: Everyone feels safe. Like many women (and also a lot of men), I am a survivor of sexual assault. One of the consequences is that I am very sensitive about people touching me, especially men. As a woman, I have found that many men—including Quakers—feel free to touch me in ways that they would never touch other men. At Quaker events, there is a lot of hugging and other casual touch, and Friends have at times made me feel uncomfortable (or even shamed me) for avoiding hugs. (And don't even get me started on "cuddle puddles.")
Assumption #5: Everyone has an equal opportunity to speak and be heard. This is a hard one because Friends have always held that men and women are equal. However, in our culture, women are socialized to keep quiet and men tend to interrupt and to dominate the conversation. Although Quakers try for more equality, we don't just leave those patterns behind when we are in Quaker settings. One of the ways this comes out is in conversations about vocal ministry. The assumption often is that ministers tend to speak too soon and for too long (more common for men). My experience is that I am more likely to be unfaithful by waiting too long before I speak (more common for women). Rather than being told to "be humble" in ministry, women may need to be told to "be bold."
I could go on, but that feels like enough for now. I am not sharing these to try to make anyone feel bad. I just ask that, if you find yourself making these assumptions, you stop to think first.
Check your privilege, Friends. And be grateful for the privileges God has given you.
All of that made me think about the difference between privilege and privilege.
I think you know what I mean, but just in case, here's an illustration. Imagine a middle-aged man beginning to give a talk by saying, "I feel so privileged to be here tonight." Now imagine a young woman with hairy legs and a shaking voice saying to that man, "Check your privilege."
It's the same man. He has the same amount of privilege. But it's different, right?
As I write this, I am keenly aware that I am a newcomer to this conversation. But I sense an opening, in myself and in the Religious Society of Friends, that we are ready to engage more deeply on this issue.
Part of that opening is inspired by two recent posts by Joanna H (Privilege, part 1 and Privilege, part 2). I also know that many Friends (and others) have been working hard on this issue for years. Ones that come immediately to mind are Liz O, Vanessa J, Jeanne B, and George L, and I know there are many more.
This is not meant to be a treatise on privilege. Rather, I am taking a page from Parker Palmer and trying to write about something I don't completely understand. I know it is challenging, and I appreciate you hanging in there with me.
It feels disingenuous to talk about the ways I feel marginalized without first acknowledging my own privilege. Yesterday, a co-worker and I took a minute to list all of the ways we could think of that I am privileged. It was a long list.
I am: white, able-bodied, blue-eyed, Christian, reasonably attractive and fit, very well-educated, employed, cisgender, and a U.S. citizen. I come from a middle class background and I have a vast safety net of family and friends. Although I identify as bisexual, I usually come across as straight, which means that I have the choice of whether and when to reveal my sexual orientation. The list goes on. I did not do anything to earn this privilege, and all of these things make my life easier.
I am also a woman and a young adult Friend.
Over the past few years as I have traveled among Friends, I have encountered assumptions about me and about who we are as Friends that make me feel alienated as a woman and a young person. [Note: it feels a little strange for me to identify here as young. I am 31. In all other parts of my life, I am a real adult. But in the context of the Religious Society of Friends, I am young and I am grouped into Young Adult Friends (YAFs), regardless of whether I identify as one.]
This post is about the ways I have felt marginalized by my gender and age. I am not trying to fix things. I am just going to list of some of the assumptions I have come across and attempt to explain why they make me feel "other." Although I am trying to separate them out, there is some overlap.
Assumption #1: YAFs do not have much Quaker experience (and have lots of free time). Last year, when I was in Kenya for the World Conference of Friends, a woman sat down next to me at breakfast. She mentioned that she was on a nominating committee and asked me what my gifts and talents were. I told her that I was pretty busy. She said, "You're young, how busy could you be?" At the time, I was clerk of my meeting in addition to holding down a full-time legal job.
Assumption #2: We all have the same amount of money. We don't. Some people, when they want to go to a Quaker event, just write a check. I don't think I have ever paid a full registration fee for a Quaker event. In order to go to the FGC Gathering this summer, I had four grants (the Pickett Endowment, a workgrant for leading a workshop, a travel grant, and a scholarship from my meeting). Young people are more likely to be taking the cheaper options: sharing rooms, getting fewer meals, or camping. YAFs are less likely to have vacation homes. At the World Conference of Friends, much was made of having Friends pay their fair share based on their home countries' gross domestic product. But while we were there, a YAF from one of the wealthiest countries confided in me that she had been homeless just months before the conference.
Assumption #3: The people who want to be there, are. Sometimes when older Friends sigh and say, "Where are the young people?" I want to respond, "They are at work!" We do not all have flexible schedules. I am fortunate enough to have a job with paid vacation leave, but even so, I had to save up for months to have enough vacation time to go to the Gathering for a week. It is time I did not spend on other vacation or to see my family. Young Friends are working to pay rent, support their families, or pay off student loans and other debt. YAFs have to carefully discern whether to attend Quaker events.
Assumption #4: Everyone feels safe. Like many women (and also a lot of men), I am a survivor of sexual assault. One of the consequences is that I am very sensitive about people touching me, especially men. As a woman, I have found that many men—including Quakers—feel free to touch me in ways that they would never touch other men. At Quaker events, there is a lot of hugging and other casual touch, and Friends have at times made me feel uncomfortable (or even shamed me) for avoiding hugs. (And don't even get me started on "cuddle puddles.")
Assumption #5: Everyone has an equal opportunity to speak and be heard. This is a hard one because Friends have always held that men and women are equal. However, in our culture, women are socialized to keep quiet and men tend to interrupt and to dominate the conversation. Although Quakers try for more equality, we don't just leave those patterns behind when we are in Quaker settings. One of the ways this comes out is in conversations about vocal ministry. The assumption often is that ministers tend to speak too soon and for too long (more common for men). My experience is that I am more likely to be unfaithful by waiting too long before I speak (more common for women). Rather than being told to "be humble" in ministry, women may need to be told to "be bold."
I could go on, but that feels like enough for now. I am not sharing these to try to make anyone feel bad. I just ask that, if you find yourself making these assumptions, you stop to think first.
Check your privilege, Friends. And be grateful for the privileges God has given you.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Personal Statement
[This is the personal statement I wrote as part of my application for Candler School of Theology.]
Friends believe that all are ministers and God can speak through anyone. We also believe that some are called to sustained, public ministry. I first felt that call to ministry in the spring of 2008, at the Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s Theology Conference. The purpose of the women’s conference is to bring evangelical and liberal Friends together to try to discover the best of our tradition through the use of narrative theology―telling the story of how God is at work in our lives. Over the four days of the conference, I felt like God was holding up parts of my life that I had been unwilling to face, and asking me to deal with them. I felt broken open and very tender.
By the end of the weekend, I had agreed to be co-clerk of the planning committee for the next conference. I was exhausted and ready to go home when we entered into our final open worship. Then, out of the silence, God spoke to me. God said, “It’s not always going to be this easy.”
I said, “What?” Of all the words I could think of to describe my experience at the conference, “easy” was not one of them.
God responded, “Yes, this is the easy part. It is going to be a lot harder after this. But I will be there too.”*
At the time, I felt shattered and overwhelmed. But those words and the deep sense of calling I felt have gotten me through some very difficult times, and I am grateful for the sense I have of God’s presence with me.
Within a few months of the women’s conference I began to do traveling ministry. I traveled to Friends meetings and churches to worship with them and share about the women’s conference. I was not raised in the Religious Society of Friends―I became a “convinced Friend” while I was in law school―but I found that my childhood in the evangelical church was a great benefit in my ministry. As a child, I had grieved that I could not speak in tongues like my classmates in our charismatic Sunday school, but I suddenly found that I could: even though I was a member of a liberal, unprogrammed Friends meeting, I knew the songs and language in the evangelical, programmed Friends churches. I could act as a bridge between the two, and feel like I was part of both.
Since graduating from law school, I have worked as a judicial clerk for two state courts of appeals, in Washington and Oregon. I spend most of my time as a clerk researching and writing judicial opinions. I have enjoyed many things about clerking: it is good work and my colleagues are wonderful. I have had opportunities to improve my writing, editing, and research skills. One of the best things about working at the courts has been the 40-hour workweek, which is very rare in the legal profession!
While working for the courts, I have been able to do traveling ministry, participate in the School of the Spirit Ministry’s program On Being a Spiritual Nurturer, organize retreats and conferences, serve on committees, give talks, write articles, and serve as clerk of my meeting, Freedom Friends Church. I am grateful for the flexibility and support I have received from my bosses and coworkers over the past several years. Now, however, I feel that God is calling me to transition away from full-time legal work.
Applying to seminary right now feels a little like stepping off the boat. As I said, I feel called to support ministers in the Religious Society of Friends, but that is not a job that currently exists. There are a number of things happening right now though that give me the sense that there are big changes coming for Friends and Christianity as a whole, and I want to be in the best position I can be to nurture these changes.
First, a large number of women across denominations are being called into ministry. This is a relatively new phenomenon in the church in general, but Friends have had women ministers for over 350 years, and I believe that Friends offer a unique perspective on women in ministry. Second, an unprecedented number of Friends are being called to seminary. It is not clear yet why God is calling so many to formal theological education―there currently are not enough positions for them―but I believe that there is a reason that Friends (and young Friends in particular) are being equipped for ministry in this way. Third, there is a generational shift beginning in the Religious Society of Friends. Until recently, the leadership was mostly comprised of people who came of age during the social activism of the Civil Rights movement and the Vietnam War. Many of them were drawn to Friends because of the social causes Friends supported. The rising generation of leaders may also be involved in social justice issues but, at its core, this generation is calling Friends to faithfulness. Young Friends are seeking renewal, asking all of us to listen deeply to what the Spirit is calling us to do, individually and as a community.
A degree is not necessary to be a minister among Friends. On the contrary, if all goes according to plan, I will most likely have finished the recording process (the Quaker version of ordination) and be a recorded (ordained) minister before starting seminary. However, I believe that a Master of Divinity will give me useful tools for sustained public ministry. I tend to give ministry everything I have, and I hope that seminary will help me develop better boundaries and self-care in doing ministry. I am also interested in learning systematic theology, to give me perspective on the biases I unconsciously bring to texts and ministry. I know that I have much to learn from the faculty and from my peers in the context of seminary, and I am eager to make connections with others who are called to ministry.
I am applying to Candler School of Theology because it seems like the best place for me to hone my skills in leadership and ministry. I am impressed by how Candler explicitly supports denominational leadership, which is something that I would like to bring back to the Religious Society of Friends. I look forward to the opportunity to spend two years doing contextual education, and I am particularly interested in the possibility of serving in a women’s prison during my first year of seminary. I am also drawn to Candler because of its programs to support women in ministry; I am interested in exploring the certificate in Women, Theology, and Ministry. It is clear that Candler is a place where people not only study theology, but worship together, practice their faith, and put that faith into action in the world. I want to be a part of that kind of community.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
* I shared this story in the message I gave at the 2012 Pacific Northwest Quaker Women's Theology Conference, which was published in the July/August 2012 issue of Western Friend as Inviting Grace: Letters and Lessons from the Apostle Paul.
"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:19.My name is Ashley Wilcox, and I am a Quaker minister, a lawyer, a writer, and a beloved child of God. I am a gospel minister in the prophetic, Friends tradition; my message is, “Turn toward God, in whatever language you use for God.” For the past few years, I have carried a concern for supporting ministers in the Religious Society of Friends. I am now feeling called to seminary, which I believe will give me some of the tools I need to support those ministers.
Friends believe that all are ministers and God can speak through anyone. We also believe that some are called to sustained, public ministry. I first felt that call to ministry in the spring of 2008, at the Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s Theology Conference. The purpose of the women’s conference is to bring evangelical and liberal Friends together to try to discover the best of our tradition through the use of narrative theology―telling the story of how God is at work in our lives. Over the four days of the conference, I felt like God was holding up parts of my life that I had been unwilling to face, and asking me to deal with them. I felt broken open and very tender.
By the end of the weekend, I had agreed to be co-clerk of the planning committee for the next conference. I was exhausted and ready to go home when we entered into our final open worship. Then, out of the silence, God spoke to me. God said, “It’s not always going to be this easy.”
I said, “What?” Of all the words I could think of to describe my experience at the conference, “easy” was not one of them.
God responded, “Yes, this is the easy part. It is going to be a lot harder after this. But I will be there too.”*
At the time, I felt shattered and overwhelmed. But those words and the deep sense of calling I felt have gotten me through some very difficult times, and I am grateful for the sense I have of God’s presence with me.
Within a few months of the women’s conference I began to do traveling ministry. I traveled to Friends meetings and churches to worship with them and share about the women’s conference. I was not raised in the Religious Society of Friends―I became a “convinced Friend” while I was in law school―but I found that my childhood in the evangelical church was a great benefit in my ministry. As a child, I had grieved that I could not speak in tongues like my classmates in our charismatic Sunday school, but I suddenly found that I could: even though I was a member of a liberal, unprogrammed Friends meeting, I knew the songs and language in the evangelical, programmed Friends churches. I could act as a bridge between the two, and feel like I was part of both.
Since graduating from law school, I have worked as a judicial clerk for two state courts of appeals, in Washington and Oregon. I spend most of my time as a clerk researching and writing judicial opinions. I have enjoyed many things about clerking: it is good work and my colleagues are wonderful. I have had opportunities to improve my writing, editing, and research skills. One of the best things about working at the courts has been the 40-hour workweek, which is very rare in the legal profession!
While working for the courts, I have been able to do traveling ministry, participate in the School of the Spirit Ministry’s program On Being a Spiritual Nurturer, organize retreats and conferences, serve on committees, give talks, write articles, and serve as clerk of my meeting, Freedom Friends Church. I am grateful for the flexibility and support I have received from my bosses and coworkers over the past several years. Now, however, I feel that God is calling me to transition away from full-time legal work.
Applying to seminary right now feels a little like stepping off the boat. As I said, I feel called to support ministers in the Religious Society of Friends, but that is not a job that currently exists. There are a number of things happening right now though that give me the sense that there are big changes coming for Friends and Christianity as a whole, and I want to be in the best position I can be to nurture these changes.
First, a large number of women across denominations are being called into ministry. This is a relatively new phenomenon in the church in general, but Friends have had women ministers for over 350 years, and I believe that Friends offer a unique perspective on women in ministry. Second, an unprecedented number of Friends are being called to seminary. It is not clear yet why God is calling so many to formal theological education―there currently are not enough positions for them―but I believe that there is a reason that Friends (and young Friends in particular) are being equipped for ministry in this way. Third, there is a generational shift beginning in the Religious Society of Friends. Until recently, the leadership was mostly comprised of people who came of age during the social activism of the Civil Rights movement and the Vietnam War. Many of them were drawn to Friends because of the social causes Friends supported. The rising generation of leaders may also be involved in social justice issues but, at its core, this generation is calling Friends to faithfulness. Young Friends are seeking renewal, asking all of us to listen deeply to what the Spirit is calling us to do, individually and as a community.
A degree is not necessary to be a minister among Friends. On the contrary, if all goes according to plan, I will most likely have finished the recording process (the Quaker version of ordination) and be a recorded (ordained) minister before starting seminary. However, I believe that a Master of Divinity will give me useful tools for sustained public ministry. I tend to give ministry everything I have, and I hope that seminary will help me develop better boundaries and self-care in doing ministry. I am also interested in learning systematic theology, to give me perspective on the biases I unconsciously bring to texts and ministry. I know that I have much to learn from the faculty and from my peers in the context of seminary, and I am eager to make connections with others who are called to ministry.
I am applying to Candler School of Theology because it seems like the best place for me to hone my skills in leadership and ministry. I am impressed by how Candler explicitly supports denominational leadership, which is something that I would like to bring back to the Religious Society of Friends. I look forward to the opportunity to spend two years doing contextual education, and I am particularly interested in the possibility of serving in a women’s prison during my first year of seminary. I am also drawn to Candler because of its programs to support women in ministry; I am interested in exploring the certificate in Women, Theology, and Ministry. It is clear that Candler is a place where people not only study theology, but worship together, practice their faith, and put that faith into action in the world. I want to be a part of that kind of community.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
* I shared this story in the message I gave at the 2012 Pacific Northwest Quaker Women's Theology Conference, which was published in the July/August 2012 issue of Western Friend as Inviting Grace: Letters and Lessons from the Apostle Paul.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Convergent Friends
I actually have been writing quite a bit lately . . . just not here. In addition to the legal writing I do every day for work, I have been doing the kind of writing that is important, but not necessarily for a wider audience: personal statements, scholarship and grant applications, a workshop description.
As you might imagine, I end up writing about Quakers a lot. One paragraph that is part of a longer essay seemed worth posting, a description of convergent Friends:
As you might imagine, I end up writing about Quakers a lot. One paragraph that is part of a longer essay seemed worth posting, a description of convergent Friends:
One of the growing edges in the Religious Society of Friends is a movement called “convergent Friends”: Quakers coming together across the branches of Friends to try to discover the best of our tradition. This is a movement toward reconciliation. It is not based on the idea that we all have to worship the same way or believe the same things, but on the conviction that there is still life in the Religious Society of Friends, that God is still speaking to and through us, and that we can learn about the Spirit among us―however we name that Spirit―by sharing our experiences of the divine and listening deeply.I will be heading down to California tomorrow evening to interview at Claremont School of Theology on Tuesday. I would appreciate your prayers for safe travels and for clarity and grace while I am there.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Monday, October 8, 2012
On Outrunning Your Guide
[An edited version of an email I sent to a Friend recently, posted with permission.]
Dear Friend,
When we spoke, you said that you were worried that you may have outrun your guide in giving vocal ministry. I have a number of responses to that. As usual, take what is useful and leave the rest!
First, I have not had any sense of you outrunning your guide when I have heard you speak. Your messages have felt grounded and encouraging and have spoken to my condition.
As for whether you have outrun your guide elsewhere, I don't know. Here are some things that have been useful for me when I have been worried that I spoke in error.
One is that we never know who the message is for, even when we think we do. Giving a message is like tossing out seeds, which fall on all sorts of soil. The question, as always, is whether you were faithful with what you were given.
If there is a particular time that you feel you may have outrun your guide, it may be useful to find someone who was there, who you trust to be honest with you, and ask how that message felt to him or her. Afterward, sit with the Friend's response and see how it feels to you.
The minister does not have sole responsibility for the message. It is the responsibility of the meeting to hold the space, support the minister, and receive the message. That is one of the reasons I try to leave space before and after I give a message―to invite Friends to help me. Sometimes I explicitly ask for that help.
Finally, even if you have outrun your guide, that's okay. Ministry is messy! The sense of outrunning your guide means that you are using your gifts at the edge of your ability, which is a way to grow. God forgives us every time we make mistakes, and those mistakes give us an opportunity to forgive ourselves. Then we pick ourselves up and try again at faithfulness.
That was probably much more of a response than you had in mind! It was helpful for me to write it out, though, so thank you for giving me the opportunity. I am grateful for our talk and I look forward to talking with you again soon.
Blessings,
Ashley
Dear Friend,
When we spoke, you said that you were worried that you may have outrun your guide in giving vocal ministry. I have a number of responses to that. As usual, take what is useful and leave the rest!
First, I have not had any sense of you outrunning your guide when I have heard you speak. Your messages have felt grounded and encouraging and have spoken to my condition.
As for whether you have outrun your guide elsewhere, I don't know. Here are some things that have been useful for me when I have been worried that I spoke in error.
One is that we never know who the message is for, even when we think we do. Giving a message is like tossing out seeds, which fall on all sorts of soil. The question, as always, is whether you were faithful with what you were given.
If there is a particular time that you feel you may have outrun your guide, it may be useful to find someone who was there, who you trust to be honest with you, and ask how that message felt to him or her. Afterward, sit with the Friend's response and see how it feels to you.
The minister does not have sole responsibility for the message. It is the responsibility of the meeting to hold the space, support the minister, and receive the message. That is one of the reasons I try to leave space before and after I give a message―to invite Friends to help me. Sometimes I explicitly ask for that help.
Finally, even if you have outrun your guide, that's okay. Ministry is messy! The sense of outrunning your guide means that you are using your gifts at the edge of your ability, which is a way to grow. God forgives us every time we make mistakes, and those mistakes give us an opportunity to forgive ourselves. Then we pick ourselves up and try again at faithfulness.
That was probably much more of a response than you had in mind! It was helpful for me to write it out, though, so thank you for giving me the opportunity. I am grateful for our talk and I look forward to talking with you again soon.
Blessings,
Ashley
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