Recorded Minister Report for 2015

My soul waits for the Lord
more than those who watch for the morning.
Psalm 130:6

Looking back over this year, it is helpful for me to separate it into three seasons.  In the spring, I finished my second year of Contextual Education through Candler—eight hours a week of being involved in the life of Atlanta Friends Meeting.  My main focus was on the meeting’s Gathered Meeting Retreat, which took place the last weekend of March.  The theme was “How Friends Worship.”  I was glad to have the opportunity to lead this retreat; it felt like a good use of my gifts.  I continued to facilitate monthly mid-week worship at Candler.  I also served on various committees at Atlanta Friends Meeting, including the Worship and Ministry committee, an anchoring committee, and clearness and wedding committees.  I finished my time as the chaplain of Sacred Worth (the LGBTQ Candler student group), and helped organize the Sacred Worth week on Trans*forming Christianity, where we celebrated the gifts of trans Christians.

Over the summer, I worked for ten weeks as the pastoral intern of First Friends Meeting, an FUM meeting in Greensboro, NC.  I was able to experience many aspects of pastoral ministry, including helping with four weddings, a memorial, and two baby blessings. I also

preached in programmed worship, worked in the office, went on pastoral visits, and organized Quaker Eights groups.  I was surprised by how much I enjoyed pastoral ministry, and how it brings together my gifts of vocal ministry, pastoral care, and administration.  It was also wonderful to connect with Friends from other meetings during my time in Greensboro.

In the fall, I returned to Atlanta for my final year at Candler.  Now that I have finished my Contextual Education obligations in the meeting, this has been a good time for me to discern what I feel called to do and what to let go.  I joined the Friends Journal Board of Trustees and traveled to Philadelphia for my first board meeting.  I took some interesting and challenging classes, including Ecclesiology, which gave me an opportunity to think about Friends’ practices and structures, and a class on Religion, Sexuality, and Reproductive Health, which was cross-listed with Emory’s school of public health.  I experienced a lot of changes in my life: I started a new relationship, had to leave my apartment, and I got a car.  The changes have been mostly very good, but I am still adjusting.

Letting things go has continued to be a good spiritual practice for me.  I withdrew from a class this year for the first time in my academic career, and I am not planning on taking the second semester of Hebrew; instead, I plan to focus on my thesis.  My support network is

good: I meet monthly with a spiritual director and am part of a spiritual nurture group that

meets twice a month.  I met regularly with members of my anchoring committee in the spring, but have not been as consistent this past fall.  I have found self-care practices that work for me, including exercise, drawing and coloring mandalas, and singing in choirs, and I have recently started playing more board games.

Looking ahead, the biggest thing on the horizon is graduation in May.  I am actively seeking employment for after graduation.  In December, I spent a weekend interviewing and preaching for a semi-programmed FUM meeting that is looking for a full-time pastor.  The search committee and I are in discernment, and I should know more in January.  I feel like my classes this semester are preparing me for pastoral ministry: I am taking classes on Conflict Transformation, Preaching, and a practica on Weddings, Funerals, and Confirmation.  I am trying to be open and embrace the new things ahead in the coming year.

Thank you for your support and prayers.

Recorded Minister Report for 2014

“But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.”  Jeremiah 29:7.

A lot of my ministry this year has been connected to Candler School of Theology, where I am halfway through the three-year M.Div. program.  I completed my second semester of contextual education working as a chaplain intern at Lee Arrendale State Prison in the spring semester.  It was good and challenging work.  A highlight for me was leading music at a Good Friday service with two of the women in prison. 

I am doing my second year of contextual education in Atlanta Friends Meeting.  I spend eight hours a week focusing on five areas of ministry: administration, liturgy (worship and preaching), mission and outreach, pastoral calling and congregational care, and teaching.  These categories do not always fit exactly in the context of an unprogrammed Friends meeting, but I have been able to find ways to engage with the meeting in each area.  For example, I am on the Ministry and Worship committee, I started a monthly meeting for worship at Candler, and I facilitated a panel on sexuality and Quaker identity.  I have also enjoyed providing pastoral care for some of the youngest Friends in the meeting.

At school, I am serving as the chaplain of Sacred Worth (Candler’s student group for LGBTQ students and allies).  As chaplain, I am on the executive board and I hold office hours and have a confidential email.  I enjoy meeting with people and helping to build this community within Candler.  In the fall semester, I was a discussion leader for Early Church History, which felt like another opportunity to provide pastoral care for seminary students.

As the only Quaker at Candler I find myself representing Friends often.  In the past year, I have taken a number of classes that have helped me discern my direction in ministry and have given me tools for the work ahead, including Nonprofit Leadership and Management, Sexuality in the Bible, and Discernment for a Sustained Life of Ministry.  I especially enjoyed my Preaching in a Secular Age class this past fall, where I was able to give a message out of open worship in the manner of Friends, working with an elder.

I also had the opportunity to travel quite a bit this year.  In February, I spent a long weekend in Philadelphia observing a Friends Journal board meeting.  While I was there, I got to spend time with several Friends and Jon W interviewed me for the QuakerSpeak project (I was featured in the QuakerSpeak video “Quakers and Women in Ministry” and a Friends Journal video on my recording process).  In April, I gave the Friday night message for Friends World Committee for Consultation’s Living Waters Consultation in High Point, NC.  It was a joy to work with Deborah S as my elder and I felt very supported and welcomed by Friends there.

I spent the summer living with my parents in Anchorage, working at a law firm.  It was great to be able to spend time with my family there, especially my nieces and nephew and grandparents.  In June, I visited Washington and Oregon for a few weeks, and was able to see many f/Friends and family.  At the end of the trip, I went to the Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s Theology Conference, where I led a workshop on prayer.  Later in the summer, I visited Friends in Fairbanks and worshiped with Chena Ridge Friends Meeting.  I also worshiped with Anchorage Friends Meeting.  On my way back to Atlanta in August, I visited family in Oakland.  In October, I visited Friends in Nashville and attended North Carolina Yearly Meeting (Conservative) Interim Body Meeting.  Although it was wonderful to see friends and family in all of these places, I was aware that, no matter where I go, I will be far from people I love.

I published an article in the March issue of Friends Journal called “Sending Forth: The Importance of Financial Support in Ministry.”  I have also continued posting on my blog, though most of my writing this year has been for class assignments.

My self-care this year has been good.  I see a spiritual director and a therapist regularly, and I have an anchoring committee through Atlanta Friends Meeting that is currently serving as my site supervisors for contextual education.  Over spring break, I went on a silent retreat at Green Bough House of Prayer.  One of my favorite things this year has been monthly gatherings for Atlanta Beer and Hymns (recently featured on Fox News!).  I have continued spiritual practices of prayer, reading the Bible, and exercise, and added drawing and coloring mandalas.

Looking ahead, I am planning to lead the Atlanta Friends Meeting Gathered Meeting Retreat in March.  I also hope to spend the summer in Greensboro, NC, as an intern with First Friends Meeting.  I am aware that I have been moving a lot and I am often on the edges of various groups, and I am feeling ready to find a place to settle for a while after I finish school.  I am grateful to Friends at Freedom Friends Church and Atlanta Friends Meeting for your support for my ministry, as well as the support and prayers I receive from so many others.

Recording Resources

A few weeks ago, a Friend wrote me asking if I knew of any resources about the Quaker process for recording ministers.  He said he was new to this, and it had been hard to find resources online.  I compiled a list of resources for him, and thought it might be useful for others as well.

My home meeting, Freedom Friends Church, has a page of resources on recorded ministry.

Here is a YouTube video of me talking about my recording process with Friends Journal:

I also posted quite a bit about the process of being recorded on my blog under the Recording label, as well as sharing stories from other women who have been recorded as ministers.

Steven Davidson wrote about some of the objections to recording in an article called Recording Gifts of Ministry in New York Yearly Meeting's Spark.  (See also Resources on Ministry.)

I highly recommend Brian Drayton's book On Living with a Concern for Gospel Ministry.  The whole book is excellent, but he talks specifically about his experience of being a recorded minister and reporting back to his meeting in Appendix 1 and 2.

Are there other resources you would recommend, Friends?

A Date

[This semester, I am taking a class called Vocational Discernment for a Sustained Life of Ministry.  Our first assignment was to write a creative conversation in which we discuss our call to ministry with another person.  This is my paper.]

I have been going on a lot of dates lately and inevitably at some point during the date, the conversation turns to how I am in seminary and that I am a Quaker.  Here is an only slightly exaggerated version of how those conversations go.

DATE:  So, you’re in seminary.  Does that mean you want to be a minister?

ME:  Actually, I already am a minister.  I was recorded as a minister by my Quaker meeting last June.

DATE:  Recorded?  What does that mean?

ME:  Quakers do not have ordination―we believe that only God can ordain ministers.  Instead, Friends observe and record the gifts of ministry.  My meeting observed my gifts of minister over several years, then I went through a recording process, and the meeting recorded me as a minister in a special business meeting.

DATE:  I don’t really know much about Quakers.  How are they different from other denominations?

ME:  Quakers believe that everyone has direct access to God.  Instead of looking outside ourselves for guidance, we turn to the inward Christ, or the light of God that we believe is inside of each of us to guide us.

DATE:  If we all have God inside of us, why do Quakers need to get together in groups?  Can’t you just turn inward?

ME:  A couple reasons.  One is that we are not always good at discerning what is coming from God and what is coming from us.  Our Quaker meetings help us to tell the difference.  Also, we believe that God can speak to us through anyone, so during our meetings, we wait in silence to see if anyone will feel led by God to speak.

DATE:  Wait, do you hear God talking to you?

ME:  Yes, I believe I do.  I hear God in the things that other people say to me, and in the things they do without speaking.  I also hear God in messages in meeting, and in nudges that I feel throughout the day to do or not do something, or to hold someone in prayer.

DATE:  But have you ever heard God speak to you directly, with words?

ME:  Yes.  That doesn’t happen very often, but I have experienced it.

DATE:  Can you tell me about a time when it happened?

ME:  A good example is the story that I consider my call to ministry.

It was in 2008, at the Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s Theology Conference.  I enjoyed the conference very much, but by the end of it, I felt exhausted and very ready to go home.  I had agreed to be co-clerk of the planning committee for the next conference, and I was feeling overwhelmed because I had never done anything like that before.

I was sitting in our final worship for the conference when I heard God say to me, “It’s not always going to be this easy.”

I said, “What?”  Of all the words I could think of to describe my experience at the conference, “easy” was not one of them.

God responded, “Yes, this is the easy part.  It is going to be a lot harder after this.  But I will be there too.”

DATE:  Wow.  That sounds intense.

ME:  It was.

DATE:  Has it been hard?

ME:  Yes, sometimes ministry has been very hard.  I tend to resist God―mostly out of fear―making it harder for myself.  But I have always had the sense that God is with me.

DATE:  I get the sense that for you, ministry means something different from being a pastor of a church.  Is that right?

ME:  Being a pastor is one form of ministry, but I do not feel called to pastoral ministry right now.  My ministry has taken lots of forms: I have done traveling ministry among different branches of Friends, I lead workshops and preach, and I do quite a bit of writing.  I try to stay open to what I feel God is calling me to do.

DATE:  But what about seminary?  Why go to seminary if you are already a minister?

ME:  One reason is that I carry a concern for supporting leaders in the Religious Society of Friends.  We don’t always do a good job of supporting leaders, and I wanted to go to a school that was clear in its support of leadership and bring what I learned there back to my denomination.  

I was also hoping that seminary would help me learn how to have a sustained life of ministry.  Burnout is far too common, and I would like to be able to do this for as long as I feel God is calling me.

DATE:  I know that you are also a lawyer.  Are you planning to continue practicing law?

ME:  I am doing some legal work while I am in seminary to help pay the bills, but I am hoping to transition to full-time ministry over the next few years.

DATE:  And you’re from Alaska?  Are you planning on going back there after you finish seminary?  Or back to Oregon?

ME:  Probably not.  I love the Pacific Northwest, but I will probably go wherever I find a job.

DATE:  It sounds like you are going through a lot of changes in your life right now!

ME:  Indeed.  How about you?  Let’s talk about you for a while!

Recorded Minister Report for 2013

“For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”  Matthew 18:20.

Shortly after Freedom Friends Church recorded my gifts of ministry in June 2013, I had a couple opportunities for public ministry.  On June 30 to July 6, I led a five-day workshop on Convergent Friends at the FGC Gathering, and I had the opportunity to preach at Camas Friends Church on July 28.  I also found I had many opportunities, both formal and informal, to use my gifts.  I clerked a conference call clearness committee for a Friend who was discerning how to leave her job, and I was approached by several (mostly young) Friends, online and in person, to talk about topics that have been important for me over the past several years, such as the gift of prophecy, being a woman in ministry, and how it feels to be led to give vocal ministry.  My primary focus during that time, however, was the transition from my life in Salem to beginning seminary in Atlanta.  It was a full, emotional, and surprisingly productive summer!

On August 19, the cats and I flew across the country to our new home in Atlanta.  Orientation at Candler School of Theology began two days later.  The transition was harder than I expected, and my experience at Candler so far has been decidedly mixed.  There are things that I love about studying at Candler: my classes are interesting, the professors are brilliant and entertaining, and my classmates are thoughtful and kind.  I am especially excited about getting to take practical classes such as Nonprofit Leadership and Management and Vocational Discernment for a Sustained Life of Ministry.  As part of my contextual education, I spend Mondays as a chaplain intern at a women’s prison located about an hour north of Atlanta; that is one of the highlights of my week.  I also enjoy singing in a choir for credit.

But in the first few weeks of my time at Candler, the administration decided to give an alumni award to Eddie Fox, a man who has been extremely vocal in the fight to prevent full equality for LGBT people in the United Methodist Church.  I ended up in tears in a meeting with the dean and other students and faculty, saying how hurt I felt by the decision to give this award and questioning whether, as an out bisexual, I was really welcome at Candler.  In response to this controversy, an alum wrote that she feels Candler is “welcoming but not affirming,” and I have to agree.  It was especially disappointing for me because that is not the way Candler presents itself in its promotional materials.  One positive outcome is that I quickly connected with the LGBT group at Candler (Sacred Worth), and I have felt very supported by the Emory Office of LGBT Life and other allies on campus.

Another source of support has been friends at Atlanta Friends Meeting.  It was easy to decide which Quaker meeting to attend in Atlanta because there is only one!  Atlanta Friends reminds me a lot of University Friends Meeting in Seattle, both in size and culture, and Friends there have been very welcoming.  I became a sojourning member in October and I anticipate joining a meeting committee soon.  I have also asked the meeting for a support committee.

In November, I had the opportunity to attend a School of the Spirit spiritual renewal weekend in Durham, NC.  I also got to spend the night before the retreat with Friends at Wings of Dawn Farm.  It was wonderful to see so many friends from my School of the Spirit class and others.  I found while I was there that the planned theme of the renewal weekend (on loss and failure) was not speaking to me, so I spent most of the weekend on a true retreat, taking time for quiet rest and reflection.  It was good for my soul and reminded me of my need to incorporate more times of retreat into my daily life.

I have continued to do some writing, though writing on my blog ebbs and flows as usual.  I published a piece on working with an elder in the Western Friend book An Inner Strength: Quakers and Leadership, which came out in July.  I have an upcoming article in Friends Journal on the importance of financial support for ministry.  I have also been doing a fair amount of writing for my seminary classes and expect to do more this semester.

I feel that my self-care during this time of transition has been good.  My course load last semester felt manageable and I did not do very much paid legal work.  I have been intentional about my spiritual practices: setting aside time in the morning for prayer, reading a chapter of the Bible each night, taking Saturday as a sabbath from schoolwork, and getting regular exercise.  I have begun meeting monthly with a spiritual director, and Aimee M and I have kept up a spiritual friendship, checking in with each other over the phone every few months.

Looking ahead, the biggest thing on the horizon is that I will be giving a plenary message at the FWCC Consultation in High Point, NC on April 11.  I am preparing the message in advance so it can be translated into Spanish for simultaneous interpretation.  I hope to spend next summer working in Salem, and I have offered to lead a workshop on prayer at the Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s Theology Conference.  My New Year’s resolution this year is discernment for a sustained life of ministry, and I have already found several opportunities to practice discernment!

I am grateful to all of you at Freedom Friends Church for your love, prayers, and support, as well as for the gift of my recording this year.  I am holding you in prayer as you meet for yearly meeting, and I look forward to seeing you next summer.

Love,
Ashley

More Thoughts on Recording

The night before I went to preach at Camas Friends Church, I had a dream.  I dreamed that I was sitting in the Camas Friends meeting room, waiting to give the message.  In my dream, the announcements and introductions went on and on, and I began to get anxious that there would not be space for me to speak.  To my horror, I saw people standing to leave.  One by one, they quietly walked out of the room.  But when I looked to my right, I saw a small girl sitting on the bench next to me.  She looked up at me, her eyes wide, and said, "Are you going to be the preacher today?"  Then I woke up.

I have been in Atlanta for a month now, and it has been a bit of a bumpy landing.  There are things that I love about studying at Candler School of Theology: my classes are interesting, the professors are brilliant and entertaining, and my classmates are caring and thoughtful.  But I have also experienced a fair amount of culture shock.  I am adjusting to living in the South and being a full-time student again after several years of working as a lawyer.  I am also the only Quaker in a Methodist seminary, which has its own challenges.

One thing I did not anticipate was how big of a deal my recording would be here.

Because it is the beginning of the year, I often find myself in classrooms where we go around the room and introduce ourselves.  For many of my classmates, the introduction goes like this:  "My name is Jessie and I am United Methodist, on the ordination track in the North Georgia Conference."

When it's my turn to introduce myself, I usually say, "My name is Ashley and I am a Quaker (a member of the Religious Society of Friends).  I am a recorded Quaker minister (the Quaker version of ordination)."  

When I say that, people's eyebrows go up.  They shift in their chairs.  Last week, a professor said to me, "So, you're just here for the education."

It's true.  For many of my classmates, they need to go to seminary in order to be ordained in their denominations.  As a Friend, I do not need the degree to be a minister (in fact, several Friends tried to talk me out of it before I came here).

I am grateful for my recording, and it is still new enough that I am trying to figure out what it means to me and for my ministry.  I sometimes think it means more to non-Friends than it does to Friends.

A few days ago, I had a conversation with a friend who should be recorded. She has a clear call to ministry and has been deeply involved in public ministry among Friends, which is bearing fruit. But her yearly meeting does not record ministers. 

She said that, in a conversation with another minister, she blurted out, "I wish they would just record me!" The other (recorded) minister reminded her that recording is not something to take lightly. 

While I agree on one level, I also think that, when someone is doing public ministry, eventually the lack of recording can become a burden, and it is a burden that the meeting should take up. It is the responsibility of the meeting to provide support and accountability for public ministers, and recording is the way that Friends traditionally have shown their intention to provide that support and accountability. 

I also think this weighs heavier on women than men. It is true that yearly meetings that do not record ministers do not discriminate between women and men (neither are recorded). However, that does not take into account all of the voices that women hear telling them that they cannot do ministry. There are entire denominations that will not allow women to preach or even teach men. It is still unusual for a little girl to hear a woman preach. And when Friends say that they will not record ministers, that is one more voice telling women that they cannot be ministers.

Recording is important, Friends. Especially the recording of women. We need to take a look around and recognize the gifts that God has given to our meetings and find ways to support the Friends who are sharing those gifts with us.

Recorded.

Ashley M. Wilcox has been recognized as ordained by God and is recorded by Freedom Friends Church as a minister of the Gospel and is permitted to perform the services of an ordained minister as authorized by the laws of the State of Oregon.  June 2, 2013

Invitation

What:  Meeting for Worship for Business and Recording
When:  10:30 a.m. on June 2, 2013
Where:  Freedom Friends Church, 2425 13th St. SE, Salem, OR 97302
Bring:  cupcakes or pie

Freedom Friends Church is expecting to record a Minister of the Gospel next month. On June 2, a recommendation to record Ashley W will be brought to the meeting.

Quakers record gifts of ministry after they have been witnessed, we believe that only God can ordain.

Many Friends here know and love Ashley and we hope that you can join us for the celebration.  If you cannot attend, please consider sending a written note, poem, or prayer. These may be sent to the church address.

Edges

It feels strange to tell a story about skiing when it was in the 70s all last week, but I am going to anyway.  (It is stranger that it was in the 70s all last week in Salem, Oregon, in April.  And that the predicted high for Saturday is 84.  Climate change is real, you guys.)

When I was growing up in Alaska, I loved to go downhill skiing and I got pretty good at it.  One day, I was out skiing with my mom and conditions were perfect.  It was sunny and the mountain was covered in soft, fresh powder.  My mom was ahead of me, so I took a run pretty quickly.  

Then, close to the bottom, my ski caught and I wiped out spectacularly.  I wasn't hurt, but I went head over heels, and my skis and poles all went in different directions.  I got up and collected my skis and poles and skied the rest of the way down.

When I caught up to my mom, she was waiting with a friend, an older man who was an excellent skier.  I was hanging my head because I knew they had both seen me wipe out.  Then the friend said to me, "Don't be embarrassed.  When you fall like that, it means you are skiing right at the edge of your ability."

A few weeks ago, I met with my recording committee for the last time.  We didn't have a topic for the meeting, we just met to spend some time in worship and see what arose.  

During our conversation, one person said that, when you do ministry, you have to be prepared to fail often.  I told the committee my story about skiing and wiping out, and said that sometimes I have the sense that I am doing ministry right at the edge of my ability.  

Sometimes I make it through and breathe a sigh of relief; sometimes I wipe out spectacularly.  But I hope to have the strength to get back up and try again.

Recording

"You'll be ordained before you start school in the fall, right?"  Inger asked me as we were standing in line at a coffee shop.  

I'm generally not a superstitious person, but I quickly looked around for some wood to knock―sort of a shorthand for "if it is God's will."  

I said, "If all goes according to plan, I will be recorded as a minister by my meeting over the summer."

I have now mentioned a few times on this blog that I am in the recording process at Freedom Friends Church, but I haven't felt ready to write about it directly.  Even though I have actually been in the process for years now, it still felt tenuous.  But the process is going forward, and I don't feel like I can avoid writing about it any longer.

First, some definitions and background.  Friends do not ordain ministers.  That is because Friends do not believe that people can make ministers, only God can give gifts of ministry.  Instead, Friends observe and record the gifts of ministry.  As section 4-5.1 of Freedom Friends' Faith and Practice states,

We recognize that God gifts and calls some individuals to sustained and public service. We recognize that God ordains these individuals. Friends can only recognize and record their gifts and calls. The purpose of this recording is to nurture and hold accountable these individuals and to give them the benefit of community discernment in the exercise of their gifts for the benefit of Friends and the world.

There are many yearly meetings around the world that still record ministers, but most liberal, unprogrammed Friends lay down the recording of ministers during the 20th century.  There were a variety of reasons for doing so, but my sense is that most of those Friends felt that recording ministers was inconsistent with the testimony of equality.

For those Friends who continue to record ministers, the recording processes vary greatly.  A few years ago, I interviewed a number of women from different yearly meetings who have been recorded as ministers.  That paper is available on my blog under the tag Gifts to Share.  

Last year, a task force at Freedom Friends looked at our Faith and Practice section on recording and created an annotated outline of the process.  They wrote, "This list presumes things going forward, it is possible at any point for the Friend, Clearness Committee, M and O or the Monthly Meeting to lay down or pause the process."  The task force also noted that the list is intended as a gentle framework with lots of room for flexibility and individuality.  The framework is:

1. Ministry is observed and/or the Friend feels led towards ministry.
2. Ministry and Oversight minutes step 1.
3. The Friend Meets with Ministry and Oversight for prayer, guidance and first set of queries.
4. Ministry proceeds.
5. The Monthly Meeting is notified that a Friend is being advised.
6. Ministry Proceeds
7. Ministry and Oversight recommends that the Friend is entered into a season of discernment, possibly leading to recording. The Monthly meeting is asked for its blessing of this.
8. A Clearness Committee is formed by M and O and the Friend with at least one member of M and O.
9. The Clearness Committee meets with the Friend and considers the second set of Queries, the CC and Friend design a support and accountability framework, including a timeframe for meeting and reporting.
10. Ministry proceeds.    
11. CC occasionally reports to M and O and M and O reports to the meeting.
12. When the CC feels that the Friends is ready to be recorded they let M and O know.
13. M and O recommends recording to the monthly meeting
14. The MM discerns the recording. 
15. If approved, a certificate will be made and a celebration would be appropriate.

I have now met with a recording committee twice, so I think that means I am on step 10 of the process.  

My recording committee is made up of three Friends, two from Freedom Friends and one from Multnomah Monthly Meeting.  Our first meeting in November was mostly organizational: how often the committee would meet, what the structure of the meetings will look like, how long we expect this process to take, etc.  We agreed to meet once a month, with the hope that the committee will bring a recommendation to the monthly meeting by June.  In our December meeting, the committee listened patiently for about two hours as I recounted a time when my ministry went particularly badly.  The topic for our January meeting is "power."

I have had a number of clearness/support/care committees over the years and they have all been wonderful.  This committee is no exception.  I have been nervous each time before we have met, but I don't need to be.  These Friends listen deeply, ground our meetings in worship, and ask good and challenging questions.

As noted, it is possible at any point to lay down the process.  I almost did last summer.  I had received the meeting's blessing to go forward with the process and the next step was to ask Friends to be on my recording committee, but I was dragging my feet.  

It is always hard to ask people to be on a support committee, but the real reason I was stalling was that the Faith and Practice states that recorded ministers can "arrange for nurture and accountability through other means that they desire, such as requesting elders, clearness or care committees, or spiritual direction."  It seemed like, at the end of the recording process, I would be in the same position as at the start, and wondered why I should subject myself to a recording process.

But then I spoke with a friend from an FUM yearly meeting who casually mentioned in our conversation that she was in the recording process, but was not meeting the benchmarks. Friends tend to be pretty quiet about these things, so I hadn't even known that she was in the recording process.

For the next few days, my heart felt lighter when I thought about our conversation.  I realized that, although I know a couple young women who are in the recording processes through their yearly meetings, and I know a lot of young Friends who are gifted and active in ministry, I do not know a single recorded minister who looks like me.  That feels deeply wrong.  If Friends truly believe that God gives gifts of ministry to people of all ages, races, and genders, our recorded ministers should reflect that belief.

Of course, the deep question when it comes to recording (the question that runs through my mind and seems to be out in the world, even if people don't usually say it directly) is this:

Who do you think you are?

 Or, what makes you so special?  Why should you be recorded as a minister?

When I hear that voice, I take a deep breath and try to remember who I am.  My name is Ashley Marie Wilcox.  I am 31 years old. I am a member of Freedom Friends Church of the Religious Society of Friends.  I am a beloved child of God.  

I believe that God has entrusted me with gifts of ministry and that those gifts are not for me alone, but for my meeting and for the Religious Society of Friends as a whole.  I need my meeting to support me and hold me accountable in using those gifts, and I have found through (sometimes painful) experience that my ministry bears more fruit when I go through the processes my meeting has put in place to provide support and accountability.  

So, I am going forward with the recording process.  I am sure there will be highs and lows along the way, but I trust my meeting to hold me in this process and I have faith that all will be according to God's will.


[For more information about the recording process at Freedom Friends as well as readings about recording in general, see the Resources page on the Freedom Friends website.]

Ashley Applying to Seminary FAQ

Hey Ashley, I hear you are applying to seminary?

It's true, I am!

Are you applying to a Quaker seminary?  Are there Quaker seminaries?

There are Quaker seminaries, but no, I am not applying to a Quaker seminary.

So where are you applying?

I am applying to Candler School of Theology, in Atlanta, GA, Drew Theological School, in Madison, NJ, and Claremont School of Theology, in Claremont, CA.

Why those schools?

Honestly, one of the biggest reasons I chose those three is financial considerations―they all offer excellent financial aid.  I still have a significant amount of debt from law school and I am going to need quite a bit of financial aid if I am going to go to seminary.  

Additionally, these three seminaries seem great.  They are different from each other, but each one has aspects to its program that convinced me it would be a good fit for me and an excellent place to continue my education.

But why go to seminary at all?  You know you don't need to go to seminary to be a minister in the Religious Society of Friends, right?

I know.  As I have mentioned before, I am currently in the process to be recorded as a minister by my meeting, Freedom Friends Church.  If way opens, I will be recorded before I begin seminary.

The primary reason that I am applying for seminary is that I feel like that is what God is calling me to do.  I have felt this call for the past few years and tested it with people I trust to listen and be honest with me.  Throughout this time of discernment, I have felt clearer to go ahead and now feels like the right time.

But if you don't need to go to seminary to be a minister, why go?

A few reasons.  For a while now, I have carried a concern for supporting ministers in the Religious Society of Friends.  I believe that seminary will give me some of the tools I need to support those ministers.  I also think that a Master of Divinity will help me develop skills for sustained public ministry.  I tend to give ministry everything I have, and I hope that seminary will help me acquire some better boundaries and self-care in doing ministry.  Finally, I am interested in learning systematic theology, to give me perspective on the biases I unconsciously bring to ministry.

What do you plan to do after you graduate?

I am not sure, and that is scary!  As of now, there is not a specific, paying job for what I am feeling called to do.  But my experience of leadings is that I only get one step at a time.  Right now, I feel that God is leading me to apply to seminary, so that is what I am doing.

When will you know whether you got in?

At this point, I am hoping to get all of my applications done by mid-January.  I should hear back within the next few months.

What about being a lawyer?

I am a member of the Washington Bar Association; if I go to seminary, I will go on inactive status.  After I graduate, I will have the option of going back to being an active member of the bar if I choose.

How do your friends and family feel about this decision?

Everyone has been really supportive!  My close friends and family have been watching me over the past several years as I have felt called to ministry, and me going to seminary has seemed like a natural next step for many of them.  I am grateful to have so many wonderful, supportive people in my life.

Is there anything I can do?

You can pray for me.  I can always use prayer and especially in this time of transition.  I would also appreciate any information about scholarships I might not know about.  And if you feel led to support me financially, that would be great.

Any other questions?

Here and There

As usual, when my life gets busy, my blog gets quiet.  After a pretty low-key October, November has had a lot going on.  Fortunately, it's all good.

Early this month, I went to the FGC Traveling Ministries regional retreat for ministers and elders.  The retreat was hosted by Salem Friends Meeting, which is within walking distance of my house!  After spending so much time traveling long distances to get to Quaker events, I was thrilled to have a retreat so close.

About half of the Friends from the traveling ministries retreat.  Photo by Deborah F.

Deborah F and Kristi E did a wonderful job leading the retreat, and it was great to be able to catch up with Friends from the Pacific Northwest who I don't get to see often enough.  One of the highlights for me was leading Friends on a walk after lunch around the capital and the campus.  The leaves were beautiful and I got to show Friends some of my favorite places, including the statue of the Circuit Rider across the street from where I work.

Then last week, I used the long weekend for a trip to Seattle.  It was fun to go just to visit, and my adventures included a three-year-old's birthday party, vodka tasting, worship at University Friends Meeting, and lots of really good food.  The best part was being able to spend time with so many people that I love.  I hope to visit again soon!

Godson Simon granting my wish.  Photo by Emily W B.

Over the last several weeks, Friends United Meeting has engaged in 40 Days of Prayer for the future of Friends.  Even though Freedom Friends Church is not a member of FUM, I have been praying along.  I have really enjoyed joining in prayer with Friends around the world, and I look forward to seeing the fruit of this time of discernment.

And now I am grateful for a quiet weekend at home.  I will be meeting with my recording committee for the first time tomorrow afternoon.  I have been in the recording process for a while now, and meeting with a committee for discernment is the next step.  At times, I have really wanted to be recorded as a minister, other times I really have not.  Right now, I am feeling pretty ambivalent.  I have written before about how fraught recording is, especially for women, and it feels a little like putting a big target on my back.  But I do feel that God is leading me to go forward in the process, and I trust the Friends on my committee and in my meeting to hold me in prayer as I do.  If you feel so led, I would appreciate your prayers as well.

Recording Accounting

[I am in the process for being recorded as a minister at Freedom Friends Church.  There are several steps in this process and the most recent one was for me to meet with the Ministry and Oversight Committee to talk about my call to ministry and for all of us to consider a list of queries.  We met yesterday.  In preparation for that meeting, I wrote the following report, documenting the ministry I have been doing over the past few years.]

When people ask me to describe my ministry, I usually say that I have one message:

 Turn toward God, in whatever language you use for God.

 I have found that I have a lot of room to do ministry that is in line with that message.

My spiritual gifts: prayer, faith, writing, prophecy, and knowledge

I began attending Freedom Friends Church in November 2004 and have been a member of the meeting since October 2005.  I served as assistant clerk in 2010 and have been presiding clerk since January 2011.  I was a sojourning member of University Friends Meeting from November 2008 to July 2010.  During my time at University Friends Meeting, I served on the Steering Committee for University Friends Meeting’s Year of Discernment as well as various clearness committees and an ongoing care committee.

I have been a Public Friend since April 2008, the time when I became co-clerk of the planning committee for the Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s Theology Conference and when I began my blog (the two occurred within a few weeks of each other).  I began traveling in the ministry within a few months and continued to do so regularly for three years.  For travel in the ministry and travel to gatherings, I have carried three traveling minutes and one minute of service from Freedom Friends Church, and two letters of introduction and one traveling minute from North Pacific Yearly Meeting.

In 2009-11, I participated in and graduated from the School of the Spirit Ministry's program On Being a Spiritual Nurturer (eighth class).  During that time, I attended eight residencies in Durham, NC and completed two research projects: one on the spiritual nurture of young Friends traveling in the ministry and one on the spiritual nurture of women who are recorded ministers.  I was a member of the panel on Being Other in Community (my focus was on the other as a prophetic role) in September 2010, and led semi-programmed worship in the style of Freedom Friends Church in November 2010.  I also wrote a final reflection paper, which included a statement of faith and a statement of my spiritual gifts.  As part of the program, I met with a spiritual care committee once a month.

Traveling Ministry

• Visited Capitol Hill Friends in Washington, DC for worship, meals, and opportunities to meet individually with Friends (5/11)
• Visited meetings and churches in Alaska, Idaho, Oregon, and Washington to share with Friends about the Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s Theology Conference and lead educational programs about working across the branches of Friends (6/08 – 4/10)
• Visited Northwest Yearly Meeting annual session in 2009 and 2010 as the North Pacific Yearly Meeting visitor
• Served as an elder for Friends leading workshops and giving messages at Pendle Hill, Multnomah Monthly Meeting, and the School of the Spirit (5/10 – 4/11)

Workshops

• Led a thread group at the FWCC World Conference of Friends called “Convergent Friends: worship and conversation” (4/12)
• Co-led a workshop at Northwest Yearly Meeting annual session with Wess D about Convergent Friends and the language we use to talk about the divine (7/10)
• Co-led a workshop at North Pacific Yearly Meeting annual session with Dorsey G and David W on University Friend Meeting’s Year of Discernment (7/09)

Friends Organizations

• Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s Theology Conference: co-clerk of the planning committee for the 2010 conference, Walk with Me: Mentors, Elders, and Friends (4/08 – 6/10)
• Friends World Committee for Consultation, Section of the Americas: served on the Local Arrangements Committee for the FWCC Section of the Americas 2009 annual session in Canby, OR (9/08 – 3/09)
• Western Program Oversight Committee: served on a committee to envision a program similar to the School of the Spirit on the West Coast (12/09 – 6/09)

Publications

• “Walking the Labyrinth,” in Friends Journal and “Gifts to Share: Stories of Women Who are Recorded Ministers,” on the Friends Journal website (October 2011)
• “Leadings,” “How I Became a Quaker,” and “Reclamation,” in Spirit Rising: Young Quaker Voices (Angelina Conti, et al, ed. 2010)
• “An Argument for Tithing,” in Western Friend (Kathy Hyzy, ed. February 2010)
• “My Only Hope,” in Enlivened by the Mystery: Quakers and God (Kathy Hyzy, ed. 2009)
• “Semantics” and “The Reluctant Convergent,” in Writing Cheerfully on the Web: A Quaker Blog Reader (Elizabeth A. Oppenheimer, ed. 2009)
• Blog: A Passionate and Determined Quest for Adequacy (224 posts, 4/08 – present)

Grants and Scholarships

• Susan Bax Fund, Friends World Committee for Consultation: $620 grant to visit North Carolina Yearly Meeting (Conservative) annual sessions (2012); $975 grant to visit churches and meetings in the Pacific Northwest to share about the Quaker Women’s Theology Conference (2008)
• Philadelphia Yearly Meeting International Outreach Granting Group: $300 grant toward the FWCC World Conference of Friends (2012)
• Individual donations for travel to the FWCC World Conference of Friends: $1,140 and 90,000 frequent flyer miles
• Youth Opportunity Fund, North Pacific Yearly Meeting: two $500 grants toward tuition for the School of the Spirit (2009 and 2010)
• Lyman Fund: $2,000 grant toward tuition for the School of the Spirit (2009)
• Sandra Cronk Memorial Scholarship Fund: $3,000 scholarship toward tuition for the School of the Spirit (2009)
• Margaret Fell Fund, FGC Traveling Ministries Program: $3,800 grant to release me for Gospel Ministry for the summer (2010)

Spiritual Practices

• Designated time in the morning for prayer (9/08 – present), read the Bible at night before bed
• Meet with a spiritual director once a month (8/11 – present)
• Met with a spiritual care committee quarterly, then once a month (7/08 – 7/11)
• Exercise with intention: running, walking, yoga

Gifts to Share - Part 8

Conclusion

“Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through prophecy when the body of elders laid their hands on you.”  I Timothy 4:14.

I felt honored and blessed in my conversations with these women.  I am grateful to them for sharing their stories with me with openness and candor.  They were honest about some of the difficulties they have faced, but expressed an amazing amount of joy in their ministries.  Many of them said that our conversation was a blessing for them too, in giving them space to reflect on their ministries.

I hope that these stories will be encouraging for other women discerning a call to ministry, and that they will inspire meetings to consider the gifts waiting to be called out in their communities.

The Ministers

Linda C, member of Housatonic Friends Meeting, New York Yearly Meeting (FUM-FGC)
§    First recorded in Croton Valley Friends Meeting (1996)
§    Transferred her membership and her recording to Housatonic Friends Meeting

Patty L, member of Davidson Friends Meeting, North Carolina Yearly Meeting (Conservative)
§    Recorded in Charlotte Friends Meeting, North Carolina Yearly Meeting (FUM) (late 1980s)
§    Lay down her recording when she transferred her membership to Davidson Friends Meeting

Ann M, member of South Bend Monthly Meeting, Illinois Yearly Meeting (FGC)
§    First recorded in Chester River Meeting, Philadelphia Yearly Meeting (1985)
§    Transferred her membership and recording to Clear Creek Monthly Meeting, then jointly affiliated with Indiana Yearly Meeting (FUM) and Ohio Valley Yearly Meeting (FGC) (1987)
§    Transferred her membership and recording to West Richmond Monthly Meeting, Indiana Yearly Meeting (1998)
§    Lay down her recording when she transferred her membership to South Bend Monthly Meeting (2007)

Peggy P, pastor of Freedom Friends Church (Independent)
§    First recorded in Northwest Yearly Meeting (1994)
§    Later recorded in Freedom Friends Church (2004)

Darla S, pastor of Rivers Way Community, Northwest Yearly Meeting (EFCI)
§    Recorded in Northwest Yearly Meeting (2010)

Deborah S, member of Friendship Friends Meeting, North Carolina Yearly Meeting (Conservative)
§    Recorded in Friendship Friends Meeting (1998)

Deborah S, pastor of First Friends Meeting, North Carolina Yearly Meeting (FUM)
§    Recorded in Iowa Yearly Meeting (1996)
§    Transferred her membership and recording to North Carolina Yearly Meeting (FUM)

Resources

Drayton, Brian. On Living with a Concern for Gospel Ministry.  Quaker Press of Friends General Conference, Philadelphia, PA (2006), especially pp. 164-78, “On Being a Recorded Minister,” and pp. 179-88, “Sample Annual Reports to Monthly Meeting.”

Grundy, Martha Paxson. Tall Poppies: Supporting Gifts of Ministry and Eldering in the Monthly Meeting.  Pendle Hill Pamphlet #347 (1999), especially pp. 17-22, “A Process for Recognizing and Recording Gifts.”

New York Yearly Meeting pamphlet Recording Gifts in Ministry

Northwest Yearly Meeting’s reading list for recording ministers


[From the research paper I wrote for the School of the Spirit on the stories of women from different branches of Friends who have been recorded as ministers.]

Gifts to Share - Part 7

Encouragement

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”  I Thessalonians 5:11.

Despite some of the challenges of ministry, all of the women I spoke with said that they would encourage woman feeling a call to ministry to follow that call.  Peggy P said, “Do it, do it, do it.  Try lots of different things.”  Darla S said to consider the costs: it is not an easy road and it is never fair, “but if you say 'this is who I am and I can’t be anything else,' then let’s journey together.” 

Ann M and Deborah S urged women ministers to seek out a strong system of support, in a support and accountability committee or a far-flung constellation of friends, ministers, and elders.  Ann M suggested including at least one older woman minister as a guide.  She said, “Meet regularly with this committee and share faithfully with them what is happening for you.  Seek and discern the Holy Spirit's guidance together.  You will be giving them a gift by so doing as well as receiving yourself.”  Deborah S added that it is essential to spend time in prayer and alone with God and to be careful not to let go of the time in reflection and processing. 

Patty L said that she would love to encourage women feeling called to ministry, to be supportive of their strengths and challenge their timidity, and listen, and understand when things weren’t the same for them as the were for men.  Deborah S said to go for it, be joyful, follow your heart, and make sure you have training in dual careers!  Linda C emphasized the importance of dwelling in the Spirit; she said to sink low and remain close to the seed, go deep, and to pray in all things:  “It’s hard work, but there’s joy in it, and fun!”


[From the research paper I wrote for the School of the Spirit on the stories of women from different branches of Friends who have been recorded as ministers.]

Gifts to Share - Part 6

Why Record Women Ministers?

“Many have heard the familiar phrase, 'many are called but few are chosen' (Matthew 20:16).  If we look at it as descriptive and give it a Quakerly cast, we might translate it as 'all are invited but few respond.'  We remember Jesus’ parable of the banquet whose invited guests were too busy to bother attending.  These are different ways of describing the phenomenon with which we are all familiar: relatively few people dedicate their entire selves and all areas of their lives to listening to and following God’s will.”  Martha Paxson Grundy, Tall Poppies: Supporting Gifts of Ministry and Eldering in the Monthly Meeting.

Women hear so many voices telling them that they can’t be in ministry, particularly the women who come from faith traditions that do not allow women in ministry.  It is especially important to record women as ministers when we see them showing these gifts because the norm―at least outside the Religious Society of Friends, if not within it―is a male approach to ministry.  If the only models of ministers are men, we may miss the ways that women are expressing their gifts of ministry. This impoverishes our meetings and deprives women who are young in the ministry of role models and mentors as they explore their call to ministry. 

Particularly if ministers are coming from a different tradition, a recording process provides a way for Friends to ground ministers in Friends’ traditions.  As Patty L said,

The need for public recognition of who you are is just huge, and particularly important for a woman because of our tendency to choose hiddenness and to be afraid of our strength.  So we need people who affirm us for who we are and encourage us, and being recorded does that and at least gives you a way to connect with others who have the same vocational interests or the same reading interests as other ministers, so that you can be connected ecumenically, be treated with awareness of who you are, and given certain kinds of authority.

In my interview with her, Patty L reminded me that the value of recording, if it is done right, is to hold the minister accountable and to keep the gifts within the monthly meeting.  The gifts of ministry do not belong to the minister, they are gifts for the community.  The recording process is a gift to the meeting in that it helps Friends to recognize and name gifts, and to think about the ways that we can provide support for people doing public ministry and how we should hold them accountable.  Linda C echoed this in saying that the gifts of ministry are for the community and if they are not received by the community, there is something missing.

An ongoing system of support keeps ministers grounded in the monthly meeting.  The women I spoke with suggested many ways that meetings can support ministers, including support and accountability committees, spiritual direction, mentors, and asking for reports to the monthly meeting.  It can be hard for a minister to have to ask for these kinds of support, but greatly appreciated when the meeting offers them. 

Ann M said that when she asked for a support and accountability committee opened the way for several others in the meeting who were engaged in public ministry to ask for support committees to be appointed by the meeting.  Depending on the kind of ministry the person envisions going into, a recording process can also provide partnerships and mentoring.

Recording also provides a way for ministers who are doing the same work to identify and find each other and thereby be able to provide each other with mutual support.  The women I spoke with emphasized how important this mutual support has been for them in spiritual friendships and peer groups that meet on a regular basis.  

Darla S meets every other week with a group of women who are also in Northwest Yearly Meeting to talk about theology.  Darla said that this group is a really nice place to talk about ministry as women and talk about theology in the ways that women talk about theology.  In particular, the group is sensitive to viewing God as outside of gender, and the power involved in gender roles and masculinizing theology.  Finding a group of women that are all part of Northwest Yearly Meeting and committed to the yearly meeting has helped Darla find her own place within the yearly meeting. 

Deborah S feels connected to what Patricia L described as “a core of fellow masons” who do this work in different parts of the country.  Deborah S described a covenant group of three women ministers (the other two were Mennonite and Episcopalian) who met one to two times a month for eight years.  Deborah also participated in an Upper Room program called Companions in Ministry.  One of the requirements was to start a clergy peer support group; she did, and has been meeting with six to eight pastors for five years now.

The women I spoke with also said that recording was important for them in doing ecumenical work.  When Linda C was clerk of New York Yearly Meeting, the yearly meeting sent her out to do work on their behalf and minuted that she, as the yearly meeting clerk, could speak on behalf of the yearly meeting as long as it was in keeping with Friends’ historical testimonies, minutes the yearly meeting had approved, and in consultation with a support committee. 

Patty L said that when she worked as a chaplain, being recorded meant that she had the denominational support and was able to be accepted in clinical pastoral education.  Deborah S spent six months doing service work at an Anglican retreat center in Australia; she said that if she hadn’t been recorded (what they considered ordination), that door would not have opened up for her.


[From the research paper I wrote for the School of the Spirit on the stories of women from different branches of Friends who have been recorded as ministers.]

Gifts to Share - Part 5

Being a woman in ministry

“Sisters, hear the Truth.  Listen to the echo in your own soul that rises up to this news with joy.  Courageously take a stand against the lies, in your own life and the world around you.  You are beautiful, you are good, goodness awaits you.  Delight will one day again be yours, start walking towards it!”  Peggy Senger Parsons, Messages to a Refugee Planet.

As one would expect in such a diverse group, the women I spoke with had very different responses about how their gender affected their experience.  Most of them felt that their gender had affected their experience in one way or another, that it worked in their benefit or presented special challenges.

Deborah S said that part of her ministry is through touch, a healing touch―she hugs people a lot, and she thinks that would be less acceptable if she were a man.  Deborah knows that people have felt calmed because she was touching them.  She shared a story about how she was in the cafeteria at Guilford College one day and saw two girls that she knew.  The girls were so stressed out, the way college students are.  Deborah said, “I just put my hands on their heads, and I didn’t mean it like I was blessing them, but I was.”  She didn’t think about it in the moment, but later realized that was pretty amazing, to have the position she has in campus ministry, where people are like, “Oh yeah, she does that.”

A common experience was feeling left out because of being a woman.  Patty L said that when she was in seminary, some of the guys had a basketball team, and she decided that she would play.  She found that the way she played basketball was very different from the way the men played basketball; they were much more independent and competitive.  Where Patty was into passing and sharing and giving everybody a turn, the men were into shining!  Patty said that it didn’t work, and she couldn’t change things because some of the men playing were her professors.  In the end, she didn’t play for very long, and mostly the differences resulted in her being kept her out of the game.

Patty’s experiences were similar as a recorded minister in North Carolina Yearly Meeting (FUM): she felt odd and not “one of,” because almost everyone else there was male.  The men all knew the same people and didn’t let her in.  Patty said that when she had other women where were in ministry, it was much easier, because they understood each other and the necessity of support, working together, and lifting each other up.  Patty said that her husband thought she would make a great pastor of a church, and would pick churches with lots of members and suggest she work there.  Patty would tell him that they wouldn’t accept her as a pastor, but he didn’t believe that, or it didn’t register in his gut like it did with her.

Various women I spoke with talked about how there still are not many women who are pastors of large Friends churches; most of the women pastors are at small churches and there are still some Friends churches that will not consider hiring a female pastor.  Darla S said that she is at Rivers Way Community, a small house church, because of gender.  Darla also commented that she doesn’t want to be at a regular church and have to battle and invest time in narrow-mindedness. 

Deborah S said that when she was in Iowa, she felt like she was always the person pointing out that others were using gendered language, such as “We’re having a meeting for ministers and their wives.” (There were about two female ministers in the yearly meeting at the time.)  She said it got old to always be the one having to say, “Can we broaden that?  Can we think about that?  What about a woman speaker?” 

In North Carolina, Deborah said she still has to do that occasionally, but there are more female pastors, as well as more male pastors who really care about affirming women in ministry.  However, Deborah said that overall, her experience has been very positive.  She thinks gender has worked in her favor: it’s something new, something different, people haven’t wrapped their minds around it, and spiritual doors have opened simply because she is female.

Some of the women talked about how it took them a long time to find their voices, which they think is related to being a woman.  Patty L feels that her own lack of self-confidence is part of being a woman in addition to being who she is, that many women have a preference for hiddenness and, to some extent, a preference to blame other people, rather than claim their own strength and power. 

Deborah S said it has taken her a long time to grow in confidence in the ministry, and she thinks that has a lot to do with being a woman. Deborah said that as a woman, she has to be careful not to abdicate her voice or always be below the radar.  She hopes that when there is a moment where there is something to say that will be hard for people to hear, that she will be ready to say it and not shrink back.


[From the research paper I wrote for the School of the Spirit on the stories of women from different branches of Friends who have been recorded as ministers.]