Friday, December 5, 2008

Somebody to Love

I just finished reading Song of Songs and it almost made me wish I wasn't single. I really don't buy the explanation that this book is all about Christ's love for the church. This is a story about two people who are crazy about each other and some of the verses made me think, "hey, I'd like someone to feel that way about me!"

Being single is still kind of a novelty for me. I was in one relationship or another virtually continuously from the age of 14 to 25. My most recent relationship lasted for about six years and we both really thought that was it. We talked about marriage, children, real estate, you name it.

Then, right around the time I moved to Seattle, it all fell apart. It wasn't anyone's fault and we both felt really bad about it, but it just wasn't working anymore. I was devastated, but I was also studying for the bar exam, so I alternated between being devastated and being really studious, sometimes by the hour.

After some time had passed, I discovered that I really like being single. I have so much time to do things I want to do! And when I make plans, I really only have to think about myself. I tried casual dating for a while, but I hate small talk and I found that I was just having meals with very nice guys that I didn't care about, so I stopped.

I think my mother is about to despair at the prospect of ever having grandchildren. Whenever this comes up, I remind her that considering she had four children, it is bound to happen sooner or later. And I do want to get married and have children, eventually.

Over the summer, I had a moment of inspiration about the kind of husband that I would like to eventually have. Here is what I wrote in my journal about it:
An ideal husband: A man who is creative and kind. He is cute, but not cocky, and he thinks I am beautiful. He is not afraid of talking about faith and he seeks God. He wants to have a family and is committed to raising children with clear values and a sense of social responsibility. He has a great sense of humor and sees the irony in everyday life. He inspires me to be the best version of myself and sees clearly which choices are right for me, even when I don't see them myself. He loves the arts and good food and enjoys cooking with me. He likes to sing. He is good at managing money and helps us to live within our means. He comes from a large family and gets along with his relatives. He is as smart as me, but in a different and complementary way. He has interests that he is passionate about and a career that gives him time to pursue those interests. He loves me and is excited about spending time with me.
I believe that he is out there and that someday I will find him. This does not mean that I am looking or want you to start setting me up (you know who you are!). For now, I have plenty to do and I am willing to wait until the right person comes along.

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