Recorded Minister Report for 2013

“For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”  Matthew 18:20.

Shortly after Freedom Friends Church recorded my gifts of ministry in June 2013, I had a couple opportunities for public ministry.  On June 30 to July 6, I led a five-day workshop on Convergent Friends at the FGC Gathering, and I had the opportunity to preach at Camas Friends Church on July 28.  I also found I had many opportunities, both formal and informal, to use my gifts.  I clerked a conference call clearness committee for a Friend who was discerning how to leave her job, and I was approached by several (mostly young) Friends, online and in person, to talk about topics that have been important for me over the past several years, such as the gift of prophecy, being a woman in ministry, and how it feels to be led to give vocal ministry.  My primary focus during that time, however, was the transition from my life in Salem to beginning seminary in Atlanta.  It was a full, emotional, and surprisingly productive summer!

On August 19, the cats and I flew across the country to our new home in Atlanta.  Orientation at Candler School of Theology began two days later.  The transition was harder than I expected, and my experience at Candler so far has been decidedly mixed.  There are things that I love about studying at Candler: my classes are interesting, the professors are brilliant and entertaining, and my classmates are thoughtful and kind.  I am especially excited about getting to take practical classes such as Nonprofit Leadership and Management and Vocational Discernment for a Sustained Life of Ministry.  As part of my contextual education, I spend Mondays as a chaplain intern at a women’s prison located about an hour north of Atlanta; that is one of the highlights of my week.  I also enjoy singing in a choir for credit.

But in the first few weeks of my time at Candler, the administration decided to give an alumni award to Eddie Fox, a man who has been extremely vocal in the fight to prevent full equality for LGBT people in the United Methodist Church.  I ended up in tears in a meeting with the dean and other students and faculty, saying how hurt I felt by the decision to give this award and questioning whether, as an out bisexual, I was really welcome at Candler.  In response to this controversy, an alum wrote that she feels Candler is “welcoming but not affirming,” and I have to agree.  It was especially disappointing for me because that is not the way Candler presents itself in its promotional materials.  One positive outcome is that I quickly connected with the LGBT group at Candler (Sacred Worth), and I have felt very supported by the Emory Office of LGBT Life and other allies on campus.

Another source of support has been friends at Atlanta Friends Meeting.  It was easy to decide which Quaker meeting to attend in Atlanta because there is only one!  Atlanta Friends reminds me a lot of University Friends Meeting in Seattle, both in size and culture, and Friends there have been very welcoming.  I became a sojourning member in October and I anticipate joining a meeting committee soon.  I have also asked the meeting for a support committee.

In November, I had the opportunity to attend a School of the Spirit spiritual renewal weekend in Durham, NC.  I also got to spend the night before the retreat with Friends at Wings of Dawn Farm.  It was wonderful to see so many friends from my School of the Spirit class and others.  I found while I was there that the planned theme of the renewal weekend (on loss and failure) was not speaking to me, so I spent most of the weekend on a true retreat, taking time for quiet rest and reflection.  It was good for my soul and reminded me of my need to incorporate more times of retreat into my daily life.

I have continued to do some writing, though writing on my blog ebbs and flows as usual.  I published a piece on working with an elder in the Western Friend book An Inner Strength: Quakers and Leadership, which came out in July.  I have an upcoming article in Friends Journal on the importance of financial support for ministry.  I have also been doing a fair amount of writing for my seminary classes and expect to do more this semester.

I feel that my self-care during this time of transition has been good.  My course load last semester felt manageable and I did not do very much paid legal work.  I have been intentional about my spiritual practices: setting aside time in the morning for prayer, reading a chapter of the Bible each night, taking Saturday as a sabbath from schoolwork, and getting regular exercise.  I have begun meeting monthly with a spiritual director, and Aimee M and I have kept up a spiritual friendship, checking in with each other over the phone every few months.

Looking ahead, the biggest thing on the horizon is that I will be giving a plenary message at the FWCC Consultation in High Point, NC on April 11.  I am preparing the message in advance so it can be translated into Spanish for simultaneous interpretation.  I hope to spend next summer working in Salem, and I have offered to lead a workshop on prayer at the Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s Theology Conference.  My New Year’s resolution this year is discernment for a sustained life of ministry, and I have already found several opportunities to practice discernment!

I am grateful to all of you at Freedom Friends Church for your love, prayers, and support, as well as for the gift of my recording this year.  I am holding you in prayer as you meet for yearly meeting, and I look forward to seeing you next summer.

Love,
Ashley

Tearing Down, Building Up

The word of the Lord came to me, saying,

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
    before you were born I set you apart;
    I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

“Alas, Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.”

But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you.  Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord.

Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, “I have put my words in your mouth.  See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.”

Jeremiah 1:4-10.

 The first time I preached, it was a surprise for everyone, including me.  

For our fourth School of the Spirit residency in the fall of 2010, the teachers put together a panel from the class to talk about "Being Other in Community."  I felt led to be on the panel, so I wrote a proposal saying that I would like to talk about the prophet as other.

After the teacher told me I would be on the panel, I spent the summer trying to write out my message.  First, I wrote about Elijah in the wilderness, telling God he wanted to die.  Then I wrote about the last chapter of Jonah: Even though Jonah's mission had been wildly successful, the story ends with Jonah being angry with God. 

Although both of those Bible passages spoke to me, the message was not coming together.  That was hard for me, because I had planned to write the message out in advance and submit it as my fall reflection paper.  I was also terrified of getting up in front of my class without knowing what I was going to say.

I spent a lot of time during that fall residency in prayer.  I still did not have the message.  Then, finally, during the hour of worship before the panel was scheduled to speak, I knew what I had to do.  It became clear that all I needed was Jeremiah 1:4-10, and that I would be preaching from that passage.

So I did.  I spoke about God calling Jeremiah to be a prophet and my own struggles with others naming the gift of prophecy in me.  I said that it was hard in part because I am young, but also because I am a woman.  I shared how challenging it is for me when I feel led to give messages that tear down and destroy, because I always want to build and to plant.

As I spoke, I knew I was preaching, and it felt right.  Afterward, I was glad that I didn't know in advance, hard as it was, because I only would have doubted myself and my abilities.  And that experience gave me confidence later when I felt led to preach again in programmed worship.

Now, three years later, I am beginning seminary at Candler School of Theology.  When I saw that the theme for orientation was "Tearing Down and Building Up," I laughed.  I knew immediately that it was a reference to the first chapter of Jeremiah.

Like the School of the Spirit, I know that seminary will be a distilling process for me.  In addition to what I will learn about the Bible and Christian history, I will also be learning about myself and what God is calling me to do.  I know that it will be challenging, and there will be days where I doubt myself and God, and wonder why I am here.

But I am also grateful for signs—like this orientation theme—reassuring me that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

Conversation

The next class for the School of the Spirit Ministry's program On Being a Spiritual Nurturer will be starting in just a few weeks.  Mary Linda, who I met at North Carolina Yearly Meeting (Conservative), will be in that class.  Over the past few days, she and I have been having an emailed conversation about my experiences with the School of the Spirit.  With her permission, I am posting some of that conversation here.

MARY LINDA:  What was the most surprising thing you learned from SotS?

ASHLEY:   I think the most surprising thing for me was how much I had to say. I struggled with the grand silences because a lot of the program for me was about finding my voice. Once I did, I didn't want to be quiet!

MARY LINDA:   What do you mean? Like learning to trust the intimacy of the group and yourself so you were able to share yourself? Or something else?

ASHLEY:   More like the group was a safe space for me to learn about myself, and that one of the things I learned was that I had a lot to say. Does that make sense?

MARY LINDA:   Yes, and it must have been a wonderful thing to come to realize. Has it carried forward to other aspects of your life?

ASHLEY:   Absolutely. I feel much more grounded and confident as a result of the program. Particularly in ministry, but the line between ministry and everything else is pretty blurry!

MARY LINDA:   Did anything disappoint you about your experience with SotS?

ASHLEY:   It was a little hard for me that people weren't very good at keeping in touch between the residencies. I think I felt that especially because I lived so far away from everyone. We were all so close when we were together, and there would be a flurry of emails right before and after each residency, but not an ongoing conversation.

MARY LINDA:   I can see that. How's it been since your class ended? Have you been able to maintain contact with the people you felt closest with?

ASHLEY:   Our last residency was in May 2011, so over a year now. I have been able to keep in touch with some, but not all. It depends a lot on how much they use email and social media. I see Charley most often, because she lives closest, but run into others occasionally. It was so good to see so many people at NCYM-C!

MARY LINDA:   It seemed like Old Home Week to me, for sure! I was happy to meet you and some other people who mean so much to Mark. What do you wish you'd done differently in regards to SotS?

ASHLEY:   That one is hard to answer. It felt like most things happened the way they were supposed to.  It did take me a while to realize that I needed a recovery day after the residencies, both because of the travel and because the residencies were pretty intense. If I could talk to myself before I started the program, I would probably say, "Don't worry so much, it's going to be great!"

MARY LINDA:  Knowing you from a distance for years via the Quaker blog-o-sphere, I only see what you've been led to share but you strike me as someone who was already deeply spiritually directed and faithful. How did your relationship with God change through and after SotS? What did you learn about God and yourself?

ASHLEY:   In some ways, the spiritual practices in SotS felt like a natural extension of what I was already doing. And I had already been traveling in the ministry for over a year before starting the program, so the travel felt a little like more of the same.

I'd say one of the biggest things for me was a sense of how expansive God's love is, for me and for others. Before starting the program, I was honestly worried that I didn't have room in my heart for all of these new people. Of course, I did, and for so many more that I met through SotS, directly and indirectly.

I think being a part of the class/community softened me. There were several times over the course of those two years where I would see someone do something thoughtless, and then turn around and be a clear channel for God's love. I came to see how everyone is a mixed bag---myself included---and God loves us all anyway.

I also learned how much support I need for ministry. That was hard for me because I like to think of myself as independent and self-sufficient, but I really need a lot of support. My care committees, my k-group, my class, and the two meetings I was a part of were all anchors for my ministry over those two years.

Deep Worship

"Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me."  Psalm 42:7.

I have had several conversations recently with Friends who are longing for deep worship.  In my experience, deep worship is a rare and powerful thing, impossible to fake. It is a gift from God, which can be nurtured by Friends who live deeply in the Spirit, but is not something you can manufacture.

Many Friends say that they want deep worship, but we are not always good at saying what that means.  For me, it is a corporate experience of the presence of the living God―a time of worship that is so drenched in the Spirit that everyone can feel it and we are all changed by the experience.  

I have most often experienced deep worship in silence, but unprogrammed Friends do not have the monopoly on it.  Sometimes the singing, prayer, and prepared messages in semi-programmed or programmed meetings for worship bring all of our hearts together so that we can better listen to the voice of God out of the silence.

Expecting to have deep worship every week at meeting may lead to disappointment, but we can always hope for it.  Here are a few of the things I have learned that can encourage deeper worship:

• Keeping a daily spiritual practice.  There are many spiritual practices and it is important to find the right one for you―one that you can do on a regular basis.  Spiritual practices keep the embers of worship alive throughout the week.

• Worshiping regularly with others who are seeking the same depth of worship.  In the School of the Spirit residencies, we spent an hour each morning in worship together.  On the first day, the worship was good, but could be a little superficial.  By the fourth or fifth day, the worship was deep and rich.

• Coming to worship with the expectation that you will hear from God.  In our meetings, God speaks through us, directly and through the vocal ministry of other Friends.  We must prepare for that possibility each time we gather together and know that we may be changed by it.

When have you experienced deep worship?  What have you learned about how to encourage and prepare for it?

Recording Accounting

[I am in the process for being recorded as a minister at Freedom Friends Church.  There are several steps in this process and the most recent one was for me to meet with the Ministry and Oversight Committee to talk about my call to ministry and for all of us to consider a list of queries.  We met yesterday.  In preparation for that meeting, I wrote the following report, documenting the ministry I have been doing over the past few years.]

When people ask me to describe my ministry, I usually say that I have one message:

 Turn toward God, in whatever language you use for God.

 I have found that I have a lot of room to do ministry that is in line with that message.

My spiritual gifts: prayer, faith, writing, prophecy, and knowledge

I began attending Freedom Friends Church in November 2004 and have been a member of the meeting since October 2005.  I served as assistant clerk in 2010 and have been presiding clerk since January 2011.  I was a sojourning member of University Friends Meeting from November 2008 to July 2010.  During my time at University Friends Meeting, I served on the Steering Committee for University Friends Meeting’s Year of Discernment as well as various clearness committees and an ongoing care committee.

I have been a Public Friend since April 2008, the time when I became co-clerk of the planning committee for the Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s Theology Conference and when I began my blog (the two occurred within a few weeks of each other).  I began traveling in the ministry within a few months and continued to do so regularly for three years.  For travel in the ministry and travel to gatherings, I have carried three traveling minutes and one minute of service from Freedom Friends Church, and two letters of introduction and one traveling minute from North Pacific Yearly Meeting.

In 2009-11, I participated in and graduated from the School of the Spirit Ministry's program On Being a Spiritual Nurturer (eighth class).  During that time, I attended eight residencies in Durham, NC and completed two research projects: one on the spiritual nurture of young Friends traveling in the ministry and one on the spiritual nurture of women who are recorded ministers.  I was a member of the panel on Being Other in Community (my focus was on the other as a prophetic role) in September 2010, and led semi-programmed worship in the style of Freedom Friends Church in November 2010.  I also wrote a final reflection paper, which included a statement of faith and a statement of my spiritual gifts.  As part of the program, I met with a spiritual care committee once a month.

Traveling Ministry

• Visited Capitol Hill Friends in Washington, DC for worship, meals, and opportunities to meet individually with Friends (5/11)
• Visited meetings and churches in Alaska, Idaho, Oregon, and Washington to share with Friends about the Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s Theology Conference and lead educational programs about working across the branches of Friends (6/08 – 4/10)
• Visited Northwest Yearly Meeting annual session in 2009 and 2010 as the North Pacific Yearly Meeting visitor
• Served as an elder for Friends leading workshops and giving messages at Pendle Hill, Multnomah Monthly Meeting, and the School of the Spirit (5/10 – 4/11)

Workshops

• Led a thread group at the FWCC World Conference of Friends called “Convergent Friends: worship and conversation” (4/12)
• Co-led a workshop at Northwest Yearly Meeting annual session with Wess D about Convergent Friends and the language we use to talk about the divine (7/10)
• Co-led a workshop at North Pacific Yearly Meeting annual session with Dorsey G and David W on University Friend Meeting’s Year of Discernment (7/09)

Friends Organizations

• Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s Theology Conference: co-clerk of the planning committee for the 2010 conference, Walk with Me: Mentors, Elders, and Friends (4/08 – 6/10)
• Friends World Committee for Consultation, Section of the Americas: served on the Local Arrangements Committee for the FWCC Section of the Americas 2009 annual session in Canby, OR (9/08 – 3/09)
• Western Program Oversight Committee: served on a committee to envision a program similar to the School of the Spirit on the West Coast (12/09 – 6/09)

Publications

• “Walking the Labyrinth,” in Friends Journal and “Gifts to Share: Stories of Women Who are Recorded Ministers,” on the Friends Journal website (October 2011)
• “Leadings,” “How I Became a Quaker,” and “Reclamation,” in Spirit Rising: Young Quaker Voices (Angelina Conti, et al, ed. 2010)
• “An Argument for Tithing,” in Western Friend (Kathy Hyzy, ed. February 2010)
• “My Only Hope,” in Enlivened by the Mystery: Quakers and God (Kathy Hyzy, ed. 2009)
• “Semantics” and “The Reluctant Convergent,” in Writing Cheerfully on the Web: A Quaker Blog Reader (Elizabeth A. Oppenheimer, ed. 2009)
• Blog: A Passionate and Determined Quest for Adequacy (224 posts, 4/08 – present)

Grants and Scholarships

• Susan Bax Fund, Friends World Committee for Consultation: $620 grant to visit North Carolina Yearly Meeting (Conservative) annual sessions (2012); $975 grant to visit churches and meetings in the Pacific Northwest to share about the Quaker Women’s Theology Conference (2008)
• Philadelphia Yearly Meeting International Outreach Granting Group: $300 grant toward the FWCC World Conference of Friends (2012)
• Individual donations for travel to the FWCC World Conference of Friends: $1,140 and 90,000 frequent flyer miles
• Youth Opportunity Fund, North Pacific Yearly Meeting: two $500 grants toward tuition for the School of the Spirit (2009 and 2010)
• Lyman Fund: $2,000 grant toward tuition for the School of the Spirit (2009)
• Sandra Cronk Memorial Scholarship Fund: $3,000 scholarship toward tuition for the School of the Spirit (2009)
• Margaret Fell Fund, FGC Traveling Ministries Program: $3,800 grant to release me for Gospel Ministry for the summer (2010)

Spiritual Practices

• Designated time in the morning for prayer (9/08 – present), read the Bible at night before bed
• Meet with a spiritual director once a month (8/11 – present)
• Met with a spiritual care committee quarterly, then once a month (7/08 – 7/11)
• Exercise with intention: running, walking, yoga

Eldering II

". . . the signals we give―yes or no, or maybe―
should be clear; the darkness around us is deep."

William Stafford, A Ritual to Read to Each Other

I have written in the past about what is like for me to work with a minister as an elder.  This post is about what it is like for me to work with an elder as a minister.

In doing ministry, I have had the opportunity to work with many different elders: young and old, women and men, and Friends from liberal, conservative, and evangelical yearly meetings.  They have all been wonderful and gifted in different ways.

At one of the School of the Spirit residencies, I was asked to speak on a panel about Being Other in Community, and I asked my classmate Margie D to elder for me.  She had never eldered before, and had a lot of questions about what that would involve.  That was good for me―I had mostly worked with more experienced elders, and Margie's questions made me think about what I really needed.  Afterward, she said she was glad that I was the first person she eldered for, because I was so specific.

In a few weeks, I will be bringing a message during one of the plenaries at the Pacific Northwest Quaker Women's Theology Conference.  I am very fortunate to have Ann S as my elder for this talk.  Ann was on my support committee for three years and has served as my elder in the past; we know each other quite well.

Still, each ministry is different, and I had to spend some time thinking about what kind of eldering would be helpful for me this time.  Over the weekend, I sent Ann the following email:

Here is what I have in mind for eldering:  I would like to meet for worship at some point before the plenary (preferably that morning, but the night before would be okay if that works better).  I would like you to sit near me when I speak and hold me in prayer.  During the break, I would like you to make sure I am eating a snack and drinking water, and, if possible, keep people away from me.  After the plenary is over, I would like to walk with you to lunch (you don't have to eat with me, just make sure I get there!).  And, finally, I would like to get together at some point later that day to debrief about the plenary.

Even though Ann is a dear friend, I was nervous sending the email.  It is hard to ask for what I need!  But Ann responded that she was touched and impressed that I had thought it through so carefully.

The next day, I received an email from Jane S, another woman attending the conference, who is organizing a panel to speak about the FWCC World Conference.  I wrote Jane back and said that, because I would be speaking in another plenary, I would not be able to be on the panel.  That was hard for me too―it is always hard to say no, even when I am clear!

Jane wrote back quickly and thanked me for my prompt and helpful response.  Then she asked, "Do you have support planned for your time of speaking?"  I was so grateful that she understood, and grateful that Friends here have a shared understanding of the kind of support we need for ministry.

I am curious to hear from other ministers and elders:  

• Elders, what do you do to prepare for ministry?  What kinds of things are helpful to know from the minister in advance?  

• Ministers, what do you ask your elders to do?  What have they done that has been especially helpful?

 

Summertime

We have had some lovely warm weather in Salem this past week, and it feels like summer around here already.  Summer is a busy time for Friends, between all the gatherings, conferences, and yearly meetings, and because I work full time, each summer I have to discern what I am feeling led to do.  As usual, my summer is booked, and I am looking forward to it!

Young women speaking at the 2010 women's conference

First is the Pacific Northwest Quaker Women's Theology Conference, which will be taking place June 13-17 in Menucha, OR.  This will be the ninth women's conference and the theme is “Living in the Life and Power: Inviting, Contemplating, and Enacting Grace.”  I will be leading a plenary with Darla S, pastor of Rivers Way Community, on "Inviting Grace."  Darla and I met this morning for breakfast and I am really excited about the direction we are planning to go with the plenary.  I am also grateful to have Ann S (next to me on the far right in the picture) as my elder as I deliver this message.  After the conference, I plan to submit my plenary talk as an article for a future issue of Western Friend.

On the fourth of July, my friend Kirsten K and I are planning to run in the Sauvie Island Flat Half-Marathon.  This race has become a tradition for us; although I missed it last year, I think this will be the fourth time we have run it together.  As the name suggests, the course is very flat, and the setting is beautiful.  Best of all, there is strawberry shortcake at the end.  I haven't been running as much as usual lately, and I am hoping this will motivate me to get into better shape!

Me and Mark W in "The Call"

A few weeks later, I will be heading across the country for North Carolina Yearly Meeting (Conservative) annual sessions.  Because my School of the Spirit residencies took place in North Carolina, I made many friends in NCYM-C.  I am thrilled to be able to visit them and looking forward to performing again in a play that my friend Charley B wrote about a young woman who experiences a call to traveling ministry.

Then, in August, I will be taking a long weekend to visit my family in Anchorage.  I am especially looking forward to seeing my nephew―I hear he has grown a lot since December!

Add in a couple weddings, some long walks, and a lot of time reading in my neighbors' hammock, and I think it should be a pretty good summer!

The irises currently blooming by my front door

Little Children

And Jesus said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."

Matthew 18:3

I never liked the verse where Jesus tells his disciples to become like children much.  It was a verse that I heard a lot growing up, and it always seemed to be one of those verses that people quoted to put others in their place.  Or one that inspired people to write creepy "Jesus is my daddy" contemporary worship songs.

But then, at one of the School of the Spirit residencies, my friend Judy G gave a message during worship that changed how I felt about the verse entirely.  

Judy said that she was at her meeting one Sunday when a young girl, maybe four or five years old, came in with her parents.  The girl was wearing a lovely dress and seemed quite proud of it.  

A Friend approached the girl and said, "You look so pretty in that dress today!"  

She responded, "I know!"

That is how little children are.  They haven't yet learned what adults have―to respond with false humility or with very real self-loathing.  They are joyful in their beauty.

With that in mind, I think Jesus was right to say what he did.  Be like those children.  Know that you were made in the image of God.  You are beautiful to God.  And the love of God that comes through you makes you beautiful to others as well.

Practicing Lent

For the past few years, one of my spiritual practices has been to spend time in the morning in prayer before work.  Other practices come and go, but this has been a consistently good one for me.  I set an alarm on my cell phone and pray for about 15 to 20 minutes (sometimes more, sometimes less).  I pray at other times as well―really, I believe that breathing is prayer―but having a quiet centering time in the morning is good for my spiritual health, and if I miss more than a day or two, I can tell.

Prayer time is my cat Bella's favorite time of the day.  Most days, as soon as I sit down, she curls up in my lap and starts purring.  I often begin my prayers by listing things that I am grateful for, and having a purring cat on my lap is at the top of the list!  Bella also helps keep me faithful―if it looks like I am not going to pray, she gets quite upset.

When I applied for the School of the Spirit, I saw that there was time for individual spiritual practices in the morning.  That seemed like a good fit, and I thought I would just continue my practice of sitting in prayer in the mornings at the residencies.  Our typical schedule for a day at a residency was:

7:30  Spiritual practice
8:00  Breakfast
8:45  Worship
10:00 Class
12:00  Lunch, followed by free time
2:30  Koinonia groups
5:00  Dinner
6:30  Class
8:45  Collection

In some ways, the rhythm to the days was lovely, but there was a lot of sitting.  By the second or third day of the first residency, I was pretty antsy and irritable.  The only real block of free time was right after lunch, which is a great time for a nap, but less good for a run.  Everyone around me seemed serene; I felt like I was about to start climbing up the walls.

When I complained about my need for exercise, someone suggested that I go running before breakfast.  But that was my time for spiritual practice, I responded.  Yes, and running could be a spiritual practice.  Oh.

And so it was.  Instead of sitting and praying before a day of sitting, I would run and pray, or do yoga and pray, or go for a walk and pray.  I checked in with one of the teachers about my new practice and she reassured me that it was my intention that was the important thing, not what I was actually doing.  I am sure my more energetic spiritual practices made me a much more pleasant person to be around during the residencies!

When I was home from the residencies, I had other times to exercise, so I went back to my spiritual practice of sitting in prayer in the mornings.  I did find myself consciously praying more often while running, walking, or doing yoga, though.

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent.  When I was a kid, I used to give something up for Lent each year.  One year it was chocolate, one year it was soda, and once nearly my entire family gave up meat for the time between Ash Wednesday and Easter.  Then I gave up Lent.

At one of the School of the Spirit residencies, we talked a lot about power.  One of the teachers said that, especially for young women, it is important for us to not give away our power before we know who we are.

I have been thinking about that in relation to the idea of giving something up for Lent.  I don't think it is valuable to give something up just for the sake of giving something up, but I do think there is value in giving something up to make space for something else.

When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do after feeding the cats usually is to open up my laptop.  I will check my email and open facebook and twitter to see what is going on in the world.  I never mean to spend a lot of time online, but I often will end up sitting there for 20 or 30 minutes, until I need to shower, have breakfast, and pray.

I don't think the internet is a bad thing.  I am glad that it allows me to connect with friends and family who do not live nearby, and email often is the best way to communicate with me.  But I don't like that it is the first thing I do in the morning.

So for Lent this year, I have decided to give up the time I spend on the computer in the morning before work.  I feel the same way about this as I did as a kid giving up chocolate―will I be able to do it?  Will it be hard?  How will I feel by the end?  It may seem like a small thing, but I am hopeful that it will help me change a habit that I don't like. 

I am interested to see what my mornings will look like without time on the computer.  I hope to spend more time in prayer in the morning, and I know that some of it will be while I am running or doing yoga.  If I feel led to write, I will write in my journal instead of opening my laptop.  Some mornings, I may just take the time to make myself a nicer breakfast than usual.  And I expect that most days will include at least 10 or 15 minutes of sitting on my couch with a purring cat on my lap.

Walking the Labyrinth

[This article first appeared in the Friends Journal special issue on Quaker Women in Ministry in October, 2011.  I wrote it as my final reflection paper for the School of the Spirit.]

“This is the message we have heard and declare to you:  God is light; in God there is no darkness at all.  If we claim to have fellowship with God and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth.  But if we walk in the light, as God is in the light, we have fellowship with one another . . .”  I John 1:5-7.

I find walking labyrinths comforting.  I begin by standing at the entrance and setting an intention, then go.  Even when it seems like I am going the wrong way, I know that I am on the path that will lead me to the center.  And, as the sign by the labyrinth at Ben Lomond Quaker Center reminds visitors, there is no wrong way to walk a labyrinth.  I sometimes stomp my way through.  When I reach the center, I often cry, releasing the emotion of whatever it was that brought me there.  I sit and spend time holding my intention in prayer.  Then, eventually, I stand up and walk back through the labyrinth and out into the world.

The world outside of the labyrinth seems much more complicated.  As a woman who is called to ministry, I sometimes feel like a mess of contradictions.  I am small and soft-spoken, but I often feel led to give strong, prophetic vocal ministry.  I am afraid of everything, but I jump into things with both feet.  Biblical language is my first religious language, but I am easily upset by gendered language about God.  I am attracted to both men and women, but I feel clear that, at least for now, God is asking me to be celibate.  I am a homebody who craves local community, but I have felt a clear call to traveling ministry.  As an introvert, I find people draining, but I love them fiercely.  And my primary relationship is with a vast and personal God, but I spend a lot of time angrily fighting with God.

When I am feeling overwhelmed by these seeming contradictions, it is helpful for me to remember who I am.  My name is Ashley Marie Wilcox.  I am 29 years old.  I have lived in the Pacific Northwest nearly my entire life.  I am a member of Freedom Friends Church, of the Religious Society of Friends.  I am a beloved child of God.

Over the past three years, I have spent a lot of time traveling in the ministry among Friends, primarily in the Pacific Northwest.  At the same time, I have participated in the School of the Spirit program On Being a Spiritual Nurturer, a two-year program, with residencies four times a year at a retreat center in Durham, North Carolina.  Between the two, I have traveled a lot.  At times, I just kept a suitcase out, ready for my next trip.

I think from the outside, all this travel seems glamorous and exciting.  I can get caught up in other people’s excitement as they ask me where I am going next.  And it is exciting.  More than that, it has felt deeply right.  It is different from anything else I have done.  Although there is usually some reason for my visit, such as sharing news about the Pacific Northwest Quaker Women’s Theology Conference, I know that’s not really why I am there.  Traveling ministry is an exercise in listening to God and to others, to try to be faithful in responding to whatever happens.

At times when I am traveling, I feel like an excuse for others to do things that they want to do―to talk about their experiences of God, in whatever language they use for God, or to get together with people that they want to see.  The time I spend traveling in the ministry feels out of time―the hours seem longer and I lose track of the days.  It is intense and amazing, and strange and miraculous things happen and seem ordinary.

But traveling in the ministry is also hard and can be very draining.  As my friend and traveling companion, Sarah P once said, “Travel in the ministry is eight-tenths drudgery and two-tenths spiritual stuff.”  To others, it may seem like I just appear at their meeting on a Sunday; they may not see all of the work and care that went into getting there.  For me, the traveling ministry usually begins months before the actual trip.  I feel led to visit a particular place, and spend time in prayer about that leading.  I meet with my care committee and talk with Friends from my meeting about my sense of leading.  When I feel clear, I get in touch with someone from the meeting or church, to talk about whether it feels right to Friends there, and what they might expect me to do during my visit.  I prefer to visit Friends in a spirit of openness, to spend time in worship with them and see what arises.  I also find that shared meals are a good time to learn how Truth prospers among them.  Sometimes Friends want a prepared message or a more formal workshop.  It is important for me to know what is expected in advance.

As the time approaches, there are a lot of logistical details to work out.  Because I do not have a car, transportation is always an issue for me.  Over the past few years, I have traveled by train, airplane, boat, bus, and rental car to get to meetings and churches.  I have been blessed with grant money for these trips, without which, they would not have been possible.  I have slept in a lot of different beds and eaten breakfast with many Friends, and I have found that breakfast is a time when people are quite open and generous.

Coming home is even harder.  After giving ministry, I am tired and tender and I need time to process and decompress.  But much of the ministry takes place on Sunday, and I have a full-time job where I am expected to be on Monday.  Those are hard things to balance and I have tried to do so in various ways:  by taking sick leave the day after ministry, which always makes me feel guilty, by cutting back on traveling ministry, and once, by quitting my job so that I could be released for ministry for the summer.  I have not found a perfect solution.  Coming home is also hard because I have experienced so much in a short time.  It is disorienting to come back to life the way it was before when I feel so different, and I don’t always have words to describe what has happened or how I feel I have changed.

In the middle of all of this, I felt led to move from Seattle, Washington to Salem, Oregon to become clerk of my meeting, Freedom Friends Church.  Becoming clerk was a hard transition for me.  Freedom Friends Church is a small and young meeting.  I have been attending since 2004, a few months after the meeting started, and I became a member in 2005.  The day that I became a member, our membership grew from three to six.  Now we have over 20 members.  Before I became clerk, there had only been one clerk, Alivia B, one of the founders of the meeting.  I felt intimidated stepping into her shoes and inadequate for the job.

Even though the meeting is small and young, it has had an impact on Quakerism that belies its size.  Freedom Friends is famous or infamous, depending on who you ask.  This is partially because it is both explicitly Christ-centered and inclusive, which is unusual for a Friends meeting in this part of the world.  We also have a surprising number of people who write Quaker blogs and travel in the ministry.  And we have written and approved our own Faith and Practice, which has spoken to people far and wide.

It has been disorienting for me to go back and forth between public ministry and being at home at Freedom Friends, because I feel like the reputation my meeting has is very different from its reality.  The truth is that most of the people who come to Freedom Friends have no idea that the church is famous.  Week to week, it is a church that struggles.  We struggle to pay our rent and a high number of members struggle with mental illness and physical disabilities.  For many, it is a victory just to make it through the door on Sunday.  But it is a place where God’s love is tangible, in worship and in the ways that we love each other.

One evening at a School of the Spirit residency, I found that I had an hour of free time.  That was surprising because the days at the residencies are very full.  I felt drawn to the retreat center’s labyrinth.  When I got there, I was alone.  It was a cool November evening and the moon was out.  I was struggling with the idea of becoming clerk of Freedom Friends, and set my relationship with my meeting as my intention for walking the labyrinth.

As I began to walk, I noticed that I had two shadows­―one long shadow, cast by the lights coming out of a nearby building, and another, more solid, short shadow, cast by the moon.  When I turned in one direction, I could see one shadow, and turning in the other direction, I saw the other.  Seeing these two shadows seemed to reflect the differences between how others see me and how I see myself, and how others see my meeting and how it sees itself.  Reaching the center, I sat and spent time in prayer.  After a while, I felt like I could see steps forward for myself and for my meeting.  I stood to leave, following my shadows back out of the labyrinth and into the world.

Recently, I have had the sense that the shape of my ministry is changing.  I am feeling called to lay down traveling ministry and spend more time at home, with my meeting.  This is really hard for me because I love traveling ministry.  I have never felt so alive as I have when traveling among Friends.  It is also hard because I am realizing how much being a traveling minister has become a part of my identity.  But I know that, whether I travel or not, I am still a minister and a beloved child of God.

Laying down traveling ministry feels a little like walking out of the labyrinth and into the wilderness.  As hard as traveling ministry can be at times, at least it is familiar.  And in addition to laying down traveling ministry, the School of the Spirit program is ending.  I am in a liminal space again, unsure of what will come next.  But even when I feel afraid of the changes, I am convinced that nothing, not life nor death, nor language nor theology, nor men nor angels can separate me from the love of God.  I know that God uses everything, especially the hard things.  And when I keep my focus on God, my entire life feels like a labyrinth―although I may sometimes feel like I am walking in the wrong direction, I am always on the path to the center.

Ashley M. Wilcox is presiding clerk of Freedom Friends Church in Salem, Oregon and a graduate of the School of the Spirit Ministry's program On Being a Spiritual Nurturer, class of 2011. She carries a concern for supporting ministers in the Religious Society of Friends, and writes regularly about her spiritual journey on her blog: www.questforadequacy.blogspot.com.

 © 2011 Friends Publishing Corporation. Reprinted with permission. To subscribe: www.friendsjournal.org

Imago Dei

God said to Moses, "I will make my Goodness pass right in front of you; I'll call out the name, God, right before you. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion."

God continued, "But you may not see my face. No one can see me and live."  Exodus 33:19-20.

 A few weeks ago, Sarah H brought the message for programmed worship at Freedom Friends Church.  She talked about the images we have of God, and shared some of the images that have been meaningful for her.  One of the things she said was that the images we have of God reflect ourselves more than they reflect God.

For me, that is literally true—two of the clearest images I have had of God are actually images of myself.

The first occurred at Northwest Yearly Meeting annual session in 2009.  As I wrote at the time, I was finding it difficult to be present in the meeting as a woman for a variety of reasons.  One was that the language Friends were using for God was almost exclusively and quite explicitly male.  Hearing God referred to as "he" over and over made me feel alienated, and did not reflect my experience of God.

I brought this sense of alienation to unprogrammed worship one evening.  As I settled into worship, a clear image came to me; it was the image of myself playing the role of the Holy Spirit in a skit I performed with Friends at North Pacific Yearly Meeting.

Photo by Western Friend

Although the skit itself was silly, in that moment, the image was so comforting.  It reminded me that despite others' use of male language, God could also look like me.

The second image of God also came to me in worship.  I was at the first School of the Spirit residency, at morning worship.  In that worship, there was a moment when I was utterly alone before God.  I could not actually see God—what I could see was a silhouette of myself, standing before an incredibly bright light.

I said, “God, I’m scared.  It’s too much.  I am afraid you will destroy me.”  Then God said, “I love you and I made you.  I would never destroy you!”

"When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the Testimony in his hands, his face was radiant because he had spoken with the Lord."  Exodus 34:29.

Sometimes when I give vocal ministry, I glow.  Friends have told me that I burn brightly and even that I am radiant.  That is hard for me to hear and makes me uncomfortable, but I know it is true because I have seen it in others.

As Friends, we believe that vocal ministry is speaking on behalf of God.  Sometimes when I speak, I can feel the power of God within me; other times, I feel broken and inadequate, but I speak anyway, because that is what I believe God is asking me to do.

Today at midweek prayer, we read the passage in Matthew 25 about God appearing in those who are hungry, thirsty, sick, or in prison.  We talked, as we often do, about the challenges of seeing God in others.  

As difficult it can be to see God in others, I believe it is also a gift.  God is overwhelming, but other people are not.  Seeing God in another person is a much gentler way of encountering God than seeing God face to face.

That also means that others can see God through me.  I think that may be more challenging—to acknowledge that, even in my brokenness, others can see the Holy Spirit in me.   Having my own images of God that are also images of myself helps me to believe that I can be an image of God for others.

How do we allow others to see God in us?  

How can we live into being images of God for each other?

Care Committee Report II

Final Report to the School of the Spirit from Ashley W's Care Committee
June 2011

Introduction

We have met for the first time as the complete support committee for Ashley in order to prepare this report.  Half of us live in Seattle and met with Ashley during the first year of the School of the Spirit and the other half live in Oregon where Ashley moved a year ago. All of us have been kept informed by the sharing of notes from each meeting and have other periodic contacts with Ashley.  What follows arose out of the day five of us spent together in Portland with Ashley present.[1]

Because we are a scattered group geographically, our connections are probably different than that of some of the other Care Committees.  Only one of us is a member of Ashley’s current meeting, Freedom Friends Church (FFC), thus many of our interactions with her are in the broader context of the Quaker world.  Those of us in Seattle did have the gift of working closely with her as she named her ministry to University Friends Meeting (UFM) and worked with us during UFM’s year of discernment, taking a leadership role in developing retreats and the overall process.  This year she has stepped forward and serves as clerk at FFC.  She has visited with Friends at Multnomah Meeting in Portland while serving as elder for Marge at a workshop and for Noah M for part of the time while he was Friend-in-Residence there.

Self-knowledge and the ability to articulate it

In some ways, the SoS experience has helped Ashley to better articulate some aspects of herself, both to others and herself. At the first residency, she grudgingly admitted she was a minister, and that she wasn’t happy about it. It was a word that was hard for her. More recently, she casually told a friend of a friend she already was a minister. She also felt like she had more clarity about her own faith and gifts when writing her final paper- it was a lot easier to state those than it would have been two years ago. Writing about them is much easier for her than talking about them.

Ashley received a response from a SoS instructor to her faith and gifts statement, which among other things called out that it’s important for her to know when she’s bringing too much intensity to the table. In conversation with a co-worker, she realized she’s not intense at work- so it happens in some places and not in others. Ashley knows she is sensitive, and knows that she can be intense. She thinks it may be good for her to have a job where she’s not intense (as it presently the case), as a means to balance out her life. Excitement and focus on just one thing tend to trigger the intensity. Sometimes it’s the Spirit, sometimes it’s her personal response to an experience.

In an earlier conversation, a Friend made the distinction between being a conduit and an instrument of God, which is useful to Ashley. She played violin as a child, and remembers how awful she sounded as a 5-year-old with little experience and a tiny violin! A lot of the time when she has been given vocal ministry, she’s felt like a conduit. When she thinks about speaking in other venues, it feels more like she’s an instrument- same spirit, but different. It’s comforting to her to think about how much practice on the violin it took before she started to sound good.

Another Friend observed that as a conduit, your job is to clear the channel, whereas as an instrument, there may be many other things you need to do or practice in order to bring that sound to life. Being an instrument of God involves discipline and stuff that isn’t necessarily fun.

Gifts of Spiritual Nurture

Ashley took an online quiz on spiritual gifts, and it came up with a list of five that resonated with her:

Prophecy- this came up at almost every residency. Ashley thinks of this as truth-telling all the time. Prophecy isn’t always obvious, at least not to her, and she doesn’t know whether something she says is prophetic, necessarily, when she says it.

Writing- comes easiest, has the most experience and training here.

Prayer- is, for Ashley, an obvious response to things that happen. Having grown up with a lot of vocal prayer, she’s pretty comfortable with it.

Knowledge- understanding and working with systems- of power, structures, how organizations work- comes naturally to Ashley.

Faith- hopefully it comes through! She talks a lot about being a Quaker- her co-workers associate it with her, which isn’t the same thing as talking about God, but it’s in the neighborhood.

We wondered if “faith” is a gift per se, or rather something you just have. Is there a difference between a gift and a talent? Faith isn’t a talent, to be sure; is writing? And can/how do you work on gifts?

We also asked if the gift of prophecy had developed further in the past year, if her understanding of that gift has changed, and about her role as a prophet.

Talking about prophecy has become easier for her, if only through repetition. Her September talk at the residency on “the other as a prophetic role” was really good for this, too. Frank M hammered on this point then, and said he thought she was ready, but not ready to be ready- which was obscure, but felt right. “A prophet isn’t respected in his hometown.” This feels right, but it’s also difficult to be a prophet in your hometown, because you’re integrated into the community, not looking in from the outside. The message of a prophet is “turn toward God” and that’s the message she keeps giving over and over. But it’s not a comfortable role or word, and it’s not something she wants to do all the time. She wants to be able to feel comfortable and at home sometimes. She doesn’t think prophecy is about a new message so much as it is about timing- saying the right thing at the right time.

More used to the idea, yes, but not comfortable. Prophecy isn’t a full-time job; sometime you have to go home. The role is between God and the community. The job is to turn people/community toward God- which echoes Ashley’s description of her ministry a year ago.

One Friend noted she talked about prayer as more of a response than a proactive endeavor. Ashley said she does think of it as a response to things and people: being sensitive to people’s condition. The gift is to be able to pray for them, out loud or not, depending on the situation. The gift is the sensitivity to the need. We spoke of the many different kinds of prayer, and how talking to God can be a gift of proactive or reactive character. We wondered if this was a part of her leadership gifts, or if it’s a more personal thing. Ashley thinks of it as both. Prayer is part of vocal ministry and leading meeting in prayer happens often at Freedom Friends. Prayer overlaps with faith, too, in that she has a deep conviction that prayer works. Eldering also involves a lot of prayer.

How are these gifts in relation to spiritual nurture? And is spiritual nurture really what it’s about for you? Is a prophetic ministry different from spiritual nurture? Ashley thinks of prophetic ministry as being more challenging, and spiritual nurture is more comforting. Leadership relates to both- comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable. The program has helped Ashley to name her gifts, find her voice, and learning, rather than focusing on spiritual nurture as a comforting thing. The program focused on nurturing and deepening the RSoF, with the hope that participants would bring that experience back to their meetings. One Friend also called out an intent to develop leadership, which can take a multiplicity of forms in spiritual nurture.

Ashley’s Place in the Meeting Community

There’s some question of how to define Ashley’s meeting. Corinthians I shows up everywhere in Ashley’s life. The bit of the ear wanting to be the foot, and for her, the bit about owning which gifts are hers, and not being envious of other’s gifts. This question provoked reflection amongst the committee members. Ashley does feel like she’s a member of many different manifestations of the body of Christ, and a part of Friends in the Northwest. When asked if her role is different in the different communities she’s a part of, Ashley responded that it is. At Freedom Friends, it’s to be clerk; other places she goes, she’s a Young Friend. She feels in-between about that, in that she doesn’t quite fit in that community, but around older Friends, she is perceived as a Young Friend, so ends up being an intercessory between the two.

The ‘shadow’ yearly meeting in the PNW, where Friends in the Northwest find affinities across the yearly meeting and theological lines was mentioned. This “yearly meeting” is not named, and these Friends don’t all think alike, but there are ties there. Does anything carry over from her role as co-clerk of this “yearly meeting”? She mentioned a few things. A friend asked if she would be a prayer partner when traveling; the planning committee asked if she would be a speaker at the next one. She’s well-known there and continues to have relationships in that circle.

How about in the blogosphere? What’s the role there? She’s connected, knows most of the people who end up on QuakerQuaker, at least a little bit. The overlap between the blogosphere and the Convergent Friends scene is there. The world gathering, another venue of this sort, still feels distant to her.

Has the experience of SoS helped clarify her place in these various worlds, and has there been growth in that? Yes- part of it has been exposure to Conservative Friends, as well as more liberal East Coast Friends. The program has felt like a container for a lot of what she’s been doing, with her care committee and K group providing her with a place to talk. Two years ago at this time, she’d never been to any yearly meeting! Now she’s one of the usual suspects.

It was reflected that Ashley’s public roles serve as a connecting force, bringing the rest of the world into Freedom Friends. Ashley shared her frequent sense of meeting as a group of people held together with a big rubber band, with varying levels of attachment to various folk.

Discernment of Leadings: Her Roles as Minister and Elder

Regarding her role as minister and/or elder, Ashley focused on that which tells me when I’m supposed to be doing/not doing.  She used to feel that when money came through, it was a clear indicator that she was supposed to act.  Lately she has come to see that this is not a sufficient discernment.  More is needed.  She has to keep listening. Things are less black and white than they used to be in general. She used to feel really clear about leading, now, not so much.

She’s read Art Larabee’s article on good discernment to clarify this process: what are the things she associates with good or negative discernment (in relation to testing leadings). Just because Ashley has felt bad about something doesn’t mean she was wrong in her discernment. She was asked rhetorically: when is a leading something worth testing with a couple people, and when is something just crystal-clear? She also talked about how it takes courage to recognize when a leading has turned out to be untrue, and to reflect on it and learn from the mistake. Corporate testing of leadings big and small is one of the gifts of the RSoF.

Often leadings are only recognized in the rear-view mirror. A piece of discernment is seeing where the path was divinely ordered. Leadings aren’t just I’m here, what next, they are also, okay, I got here through divine guidance. Leadings usually don’t show the way clear to their very ends. Ashley talked about her clerking of Freedom Friends as an instance of being rightly-led, but not necessarily for the length of time she’d anticipated. She represents the idea of someone other than Alivia or Peggy being clerk.

Minister and elder – discernment of roles.  Where is Ashley now?   75% minster/25 % elder still holds.  She is not giving up eldering totally, but feels more called to be a minister now.  This past year she has served as an elder a lot and esp. when eldering for Noah she felt a strong pull to minister.  This became an example that if you don’t listen to voices early, they get louder and more chaotic.  A very painful experience. There was also a lot of good and there is a deep need for people to take up that role for others who are ministers.  Eldering was the theme of the Women’s Conference and of part of the SoS program. Both made a lot more people comfortable with that concept and role.

It was noted that you can’t do both at once and we spoke of the criteria which distinguish them (in past Ashley saw a sharp line between vocal ministry and eldering – something which is not true today). This is an important and painful point of growth for Ashley.

Areas of Growth

Can’t believe that 2 years ago Ashley had never been to a yearly meeting.  Since then has attended 5 yearly mtgs.  Ashley gets systems insights quickly.  It was affirmed that this is a huge gift and something she has used well.

Increased capacity to find her own voice has been a visible sign of growth – partly because she had to although this is probably hard for her.  Two years ago she would have skipped business meeting in order not to have to give a report.

Growth has occurred in the ownership of her ministry, although she may still be resistant to prophetic ministry.  Ministry has changed shape for her.

One growing edge is in asking for help.  When Noah was here, she felt pushed to do that–an awful thing and a good thing. Along with this is learning how to accept help.

More confidence in what she is doing and where she is going with it – when in past she had direction yet was unsure & scattered?

It was noted that Ashley didn’t answer question about self-care as part of being a Spiritual nurturer and a minister and leader.  That this spring this was an important dynamic.  Ashley has been developing more practices, but not enough – or perhaps “trying” too much.

Coming to see when it is appropriate to say no, perhaps a lifelong task.  This year she has been getting a lot of lessons in letting go and seeing things go forward without her.  At Freedom Friends, the Recording Ministers task force, her leading/idea, but not hers to do.  Other times has taken things forward when it was not hers to do.

To be synthetic is to be convergent and very much needed.  Vision without shape and structure is fleeting.  Ashley feels more like Fell than Fox and finds Paul very sympathetic, pulling stuff together.

One favorite ministry is from World Gathering of Young Friends where someone spoke that it was quite possible that when leadings appear, it doesn’t mean that if you don’t take them they die.  Someone else will take up that work if you don’t have the capacity.

Care Committee: Kathy H, Marge A, Judy M, Ann S, Lucy F, Jana O, Sarah H

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[1] Jana O and Sarah H were unable to attend this meeting.