Stoking the Fire

I had my first real experience with Friends United Meeting (FUM) Friends over the weekend at the Stoking the Fire conference, which took place May 22-25 in Milford, OH.  This was supposed to be my first week of work at First Friends Meeting, but since my supervisor is out of town, she suggested that I attend the conference and get to know FUM Friends that way.  I usually like to wait a while to let things settle before writing about an experience like this, but since I am leaving for California tomorrow, I want to write some of my initial impressions.

One of the highlights for me was being able to ride in the car with other Friends from North Carolina Yearly Meeting (FUM).  I did not know any of these Friends before we set off together on the 7.5-hour trip from Greensboro to Milford, but we know each other well now!  We spent a lot of time talking about our meetings, yearly meetings, and preaching, and we laughed a lot.

This was the first Quaker conference I have been to in a long time where I did not have any

responsibilities.  That was a little strange for me, but also pretty great.  The planners did a good job of building spaciousness into the schedule, with breaks and unstructured time, and I spent a fair amount of time napping and reading for pleasure.  The conference center was also very comfortable, with single rooms and plenty of food.

I didn't know what to expect entering an FUM gathering, but the Friends were extremely welcoming.  I got to spend time with some Friends I hadn't seen since the 2012 World Conference of Friends.  It was lovely to be able to catch up and share new ideas (some Friends and I especially enjoyed debating the parameters of "bro theology" over lunch one day).  I also got to know some new people, and I expect those relationships will continue online and as we travel among Friends.

The worship times were warm and welcoming, with a spirit of listening and a willingness to experiment.  The gathering was explicitly Christ-centered, and I got the sense that many Friends there feel out of place in their own meetings; they seemed relieved to be in a place where they could share their Christian beliefs freely.  The singing throughout the weekend fed my soul, especially in the Saturday evening Taize worship.

One thing that was surprising and disappointing was the gender imbalance in presenters over the weekend.  Men preached every morning, led the plenaries, and led most of the other activities in the large group.  In our main sessions, only two out of ten were led by women.  There were three young men (i.e., under 40) present, and all of them had leadership roles in the main sessions; there were at least eight young women, and none of them did.  The women who led tended to be in typically female roles: as support, leading music, or leading prayer.  I also noticed immediately that everyone was using male pronouns for God.  I am not used to hearing exclusively male pronouns anymore, and it was distracting and a little alienating for me.

Even more distressing were some of the comments that older men made to younger women present.  There was one man in particular who referred to all of the women there as "honey" and "girl," and then proceeded to tell them what to do.  I heard from three women that some of the men had made inappropriate comments about their appearance, including sexual and racial remarks.  This behavior is unacceptable and I expect better from Friends.

The conference took place over Pentecost weekend, and there was a sense of longing for a new Pentecost among Friends, a renewed fire in the Religious Society as a whole.  We did not experience that kind of fire, but there was a warmth to the gathering that was encouraging.  I think most of the Friends there came out with a renewed feeling of commitment and a greater sense of hope for the future of Friends.

In the final session, we spent time sharing where we had seen fire in various places throughout the weekend.  Rather than a bonfire, many of the fires were more like the candles in the Taize service—small but giving off more light and heat than we might have expected.  

Then Colin invited Friends to join him in the center of the circle, to draw near to Christ with him.  He started by inviting people individually and eventually everyone was welcomed in.  Afterward, a Friend referred to this moment as an altar call, and I realized that it was, but unlike other altar calls I have witnessed, which can feel manipulative and coercive, this grew organically out of the time that we shared together.  Friends felt free to come to the center or stay on the edges, and Christ was present everywhere.

I Want to Ride My Bicycle

One of many perks of going to visit my parents is that I often return with really nice stuff that they don't want anymore. Last Christmas, I inherited their Bose ipod dock and this time I got my Mom's bike! My parents have become incredible bikers in the past few years, and my Mom decided to upgrade from her lovely road bike to an even lighter and faster one. Everyone wins!

It seems strange to me that I have not had a bike for over a year now. When I was in law school, I was known as "that girl who bikes to school/church/work." I had a very cushy commuter bike, with a rack on the back for my messenger bag (it had to be pretty sturdy, considering I was usually carrying a laptop and a case book or two). One sad day, I walked out of the law school, helmet in hand, to find that someone had cut the lock and taken my bike.

Having my bike stolen was only the first of a series of transportation mishaps. Soon after, a friend loaned me his bike, but I crashed it when I swerved to miss a dog. The dog and I both recovered, but the bike did not. Then another friend gave me a Buick, which lasted for about a month and then died on the side of I-5.

Since then, I have been walking, using public transportation and zipcar, and mooching rides from friends. But soon I will be able to bike again! According to my friendly local bike shop, my new bike should be put together and ready to go on Wednesday! I am not planning to bike to work (the drivers in downtown Seattle make me nervous), but I am excited about riding to places like the farmers market and University Friends Meeting.

Lately, I have definitely noticed a difference in reactions to the fact that I don't have a car. A few years ago, most people seemed to think that I didn't have a car because I did not know how to drive or was a bad driver (I got my license when I was 16 and I am a fine driver, I just choose not to drive most of the time). But recently, with gas prices hovering around $4 a gallon, not having a car seems like a pretty good idea. Maybe someday I will want a car, but for now I am pretty excited about speeding around on my new bike.

All Moved Out

Late last night, I finally got everything moved out of my old apartment and relinquished the keys. Thank God! There is still a lot to do on this end in terms of unpacking and organizing, but at least I am only living in one place. Thank you to those who helped by lending me your car, driving, and doing heavy lifting, especially Amy, Catherine, Jill, Thomas, and Mark. And thanks to everyone supporting from a distance with prayers and calls.

On a completely different topic, I was reading Letters to Malcolm: Chiefly on Prayer the other day and this quote made me wonder whether C.S. Lewis would have been happier as a Quaker: "The perfect church service would be one we were almost unaware of; our attention would have been on God."

Back in the Emerald City

The trains were better than relatively on time: they arrived eight minutes early each way. I have spent a lot of time on Amtrak in the past few years and I have never seen anything like it. I even made it back in time to catch the end of Sarah's birthday party, which I had pretty much decided was not going to happen. Hooray for mass transit that actually works the way it is supposed to! I am very tired, so I think I will post more about the weekend after a good night's sleep. I am very glad I went, though. I have also decided that I have too many friends named Sarah. My friend Emily used to rename all of the other Emilys she met and I think I need to implement that policy with any new Sarah friends from here on out.