Odds and Ends

I haven't felt led to write much here lately, but that doesn't mean that nothing is happening!  Life has been pretty full lately, and there is more to come.  Here are a few of the things going on around here.

Friends Journal.  The Friends Journal special issue on Quaker women in ministry came out a few weeks ago and included an article I wrote called "Walking the Labyrinth."  In the article, I talked about some of my experiences in traveling ministry and how I felt called to clerk Freedom Friends Church.  I had forgotten how different it is to have something published rather than posting online—this encapsulates how I felt when I wrote it in May, but of course I am in a different place now.  I recommend the whole issue.  It has many wonderful articles by School of the Spirit graduates as well as women from the Pacific Northwest, including Cherice B and an article that was also posted online by Becky A.

Preparing for the World Conference.  The FWCC World Conference of Friends is just six months away!  I have been preparing by fundraising, getting vaccinations and prescriptions, and holding the gathering in prayer.  It has been exciting to see news about the conference on the website, including the study booklet, which is offered to a resource to all Friends, whether or not they are attending the conference.  The conference organizers also recently posted a list of everyone who has registered so far.

Visiting Friends.  After five months of staying pretty close to home, I was back on the road last weekend.  I got a rental car and took a quick trip to Seattle.  I was glad to have the car; it allowed me to do a lot more than I could have if I had relied on public transportation.  It was wonderful to see friends, celebrate babies and birthdays, and worship at University Friends Meeting, where I sojourned for three years.  Next weekend, I am going to visit friends in Portland and plan to worship at Multnomah Monthly Meeting.

Programmed Worship.  This year on fifth Sundays, Freedom Friends has been experimenting with different kinds of worship.  Instead of our usual semi-programmed worship, we have alternated between unprogrammed worship and programmed worship when a month happens to have a fifth Sunday.  This month, we will have programmed worship on fifth Sunday, with Sarah H bringing the message.  I think everyone has enjoyed this experiment and it will be interesting to see whether we will continue it next year.

Back to normal?  The following Sunday will be our regularly scheduled business meeting.  It is hard to believe that it is almost November again—time is going so fast!  

In the article I wrote for Friends Journal, I said that traveling ministry is an exercise in listening to God and to others, trying to be faithful in responding to whatever happens.  Of course, that's really what life is.  So I'll keep trying, and hopefully post here about some of my experiences!

Light

I commented to a friend the other day that I think my blog is in hibernation.  This is definitely the first time I have gone for an entire month without posting since I started writing here two and a half years ago.  But at the same time, I don't feel any need to officially lay it down.  I love this blog, how it has provided a way for me to express myself to the wider world, and a place for me to go back and remember how I felt at certain times.

But I don't feel compelled to write as much right now, for several reasons.  One is that my full-time job involves a lot of writing, and I don't have much interest in writing when I get home at night.  Also, I am still catching up on reports from my travels last summer (only one to go!), so I feel like any extra writing time should go into that.  Mostly, I am still in a huge time of transition in my life.  I feel like I am settling into my new home and new job, but there are still a lot of other things changing, and that amount of change takes a lot of energy.

I have been reading a lot lately, and so I have some book recommendations to share with those who are looking for a good read.

The first is Leaving Church, by Barbara Brown Taylor.  In this lovely memoir, Taylor describes her call to become an Episcopal priest, and how she eventually had to leave the church that she loved, though not her faith in God.  She speaks honestly about her faith journey and the challenges she faced as a woman in a male-dominated profession.  I especially appreciated this quote: "A priest is a priest, no matter where she happens to be.  Her job is to recognize the holiness in things and hold them up to God.  her job is to speak in ways that help other people to recognize the holiness in things too."  She also leaves her readers with a query: What is saving your life now?

Another book that I have been enjoying is Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life, by Gregg Levoy.  This one was recommended to me by Sarah P.  I am about halfway through it; there is so much in this book that I have to take it at a slower pace to absorb it all.  The chapters I have read so far have a lot to say about paying attention to the things in your life, both internal and external.  Levoy urges those who are discerning their calls to be aware of their dreams, hopes, and desires, as well as the things in life that are encouraging or seem like blocks, and he includes many good stories.

And now for something completely different: The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins.  This one was recommended by my mom.  In this young adult dystopian novel, the U.S. has fallen and Panem is in its place.  The Capitol of Panem keeps 12 districts in line by forcing them to send two teenagers as tributes each year to fight each other to the death on live television.  Although this book is much more violent than I would usually read, once I started, I couldn't put it down.  Collins has created an amazing world in this trilogy, and like all good fiction, it acts as a mirror to our culture.

I have also enjoyed all of the new Hanukkah videos I have seen recently.  Thanks to Waylon W for posting this one:

And to Mark W for sharing this one:

Blessings on everyone who is lighting candles and adding some Light during this dark time of year!

Musical Interlude III

I finally got the new Dar Williams CD from the library yesterday. This Friend speaks my mind.

I know change is a bad thing,
it breaks me down into a sorry sad thing,
not some iridescent grateful butterfly.

I resist with defiance,
not the power of a mystic silence.
I will fight the dizzy spiral of goodbye.

And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright.

***

It's a sad and a strange thing,
but it's time and I am changing
into something good or bad, well that's your guess.

I'm my own sovereign nation,
dedicated to a transformation,
marching on with this target on my chest.

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright.

This one is for my Southern Alter Ego, QB, and anyone else who is going through difficult changes right now. We will make it through and be happy to look back on all of this, I am sure.

And Now a Survey

As I get closer to Revelation, I keep wondering what I should do when I finish reading the Bible cover to cover. At my current rate of reading, I should be done within the next month or so. And according to Blogger, this is my 100th post, so I thought I'd try something different.

I would like some audience participation about my Bible reading. I have posted a survey above with options of what I could do next:

• Turn back to page one and try again.
• What do you need it for after you read it?
• Read the gospels over and over until you get it
• Read a little bit from the Old Testament and a little bit from the New Testament each day.
• Start from the end and work your way back to the beginning.
  

So what do you think? Feel free to vote early and vote often. The survey will be up for a week and if you vote multiple times, it will make me feel like more people are reading my blog.

If you have other thoughts on how I should read the Bible, feel free to leave a comment. I don't promise to follow the results of the survey, but I am interested in hearing your thoughts.

The Unknown

Looking forward to the next month, there are so many unknowns. Many things in my life right now are up in the air, including who I will live with, where I will be working, and where I should move next. I know that many of these questions will be resolved within the next few weeks, and that is hard too.

Fortunately, I also have many distractions. Later this week, I will be going up to Anchorage to celebrate with Kirsten and Colin as they make their vows to each other. Immediately afterward, I am going to Salem for a quick visit. I am looking forward to spending time with people I love and with all the traveling I will be doing this summer, I know the time will go very quickly.

It is scary not to know what I will be doing, but it is also a gift. I can see how my life could go in many directions and I know I am fortunate to have options at a time when so many people feel stuck. Although I may not always be able to see the pattern, I trust that God has something in mind.

And for now, I have the lovely distraction of all the beautiful roses that have appeared in my yard. Life is good.

Resolution Update

I realized today that I haven't been posting on my blog very much this month. I think I have been too busy being a Quaker to have much time to write about being a Quaker! I did want to post an update on my New Year's resolution. This year, I resolved to have a garden.

For a long time, my garden pretty much looked like this:

Fortunately, my Southern Alter Ego came to town for the weekend to lend a hand.

We took the bus over to the Seattle Tilth edible plant sale and bought a box of delicious looking plants.

By the end of the day, my garden looked much better.

A few weeks later, it looks even better!

In case you are wondering, we planted parsley, sage, garlic chives, rosemary, dill, cilantro, thyme, fennel, basil, onions, peppers, and cherry tomatoes. I focused mostly on herbs because I will be getting lots of vegetables when my CSA starts in a few weeks.

I am looking forward to all the delicious things I will be eating this summer and I think I can say that my New Year's resolution is a success!

A Friendly Guide to Young Friends

Nearly every Quaker group I know is concerned about getting more young people involved. Older Friends frequently ask me how they can get to know Young Adult Friends (YAFs) and how to talk to them. I usually suggest talking to YAFs like you would talk to anyone else. Considering that YAFs range in age from 18 to 35, come from very different backgrounds, and all have their own reasons for coming to meeting, there is never going to be one right way to approach a YAF. However, I have compiled some suggestions based on my own experiences with Quakers, most of which seem pretty obvious. Any YAFs who happen to read my blog are welcome to add to this list.

1. Say hi. This should probably go without saying, but I have heard more than one older Friend say that they are nervous about approaching YAFs. If you are feeling especially brave, consider saying "Hi, I don't think we've met." I think this opening is better than asking if the young person is new to the meeting, which can be alienating if she has been attending unnoticed for a while.

2. Remember why you became a Quaker. What was it that initially drew you to Friends? Were there particular values or an event that made you want to become a Friend? In what ways does your church or meeting embody that experience?

3. Talk about your experience of the Spirit. A lot of young people are searching for authentic spiritual experiences and want to know what Friends are experiencing during silent worship, how others hear that still, small voice, and how that affects the choices Friends make in their daily lives. If Friends are timid about talking for fear of seeming too evangelical, young people will go elsewhere to find these answers.

4. Offer food, rides, and financial support. Everyone likes food and eating together is a great way to get to know someone. Sit next to YAFs at a meal or invite them over for dinner. If there is a YAF group in your church or meeting, offer to host a potluck. If a young person who lives near you does not have a car, offer him a ride. Have funds available for Quaker events and let YAFs know how to apply for scholarships.

5. Provide literature about Friends. Have copies of your Faith and Practice available as well as other texts about Friends, either in lists or a library. Recommend books or pamphlets that have been meaningful to you.

6. Use the internet. Seekers use google. Create and maintain a website for your meeting or church with information about meeting times and upcoming events.

7. Be flexible. YAFs are often in transition. A young person may wish to volunteer, but not know how long she will be in a particular location. Provide a variety of volunteer opportunities and community activities that allow those whose time is limited to participate.

8. Give young Friends meaningful responsibility. Many Friends say that being on committees is one of the best ways to get involved in the community and meet others. Like anyone else, put YAFs on committees that draw on their strengths and interests.

9. Have more than one young Friend on a committee. This will help YAFs feel like they are more than a token presence on a committee and remind the other committee members of the diversity among young people.

10. Don't expect overnight change. Like all relationships, getting to know YAFs takes time. If you put in some effort, though, I think getting to know young people in the meeting will be easier than you expected.

Winter Harvest

One of the things I love about living in Seattle is that the University District Farmers Market is open year-round. My winter CSA ended this week, so I headed over to the farmers market today to get some groceries. I was amazed by how much is available.

For less than $20, I got a bunch of carrots, kale, two onions, four potatoes, three apples, and half a pound of black beans. It is all local and organic and I also got to listen to live music while I shopped. Pretty good for the last day of January!

So This is the New Year

I do not respond well to change and it always takes me a while to accept that a new year has actually started. I think I write the wrong date on everything much longer than most. As usual, I am having trouble believing that it is 2009. This is a particularly significant year for me because I graduated from high school in 1999. Where did the decade go?

Over the past ten years, I have studied, traveled, worked, and moved. A lot. I can't seem to stay in one place for more than a few years, and in some cases, more than a few months. Since high school graduation, I have lived in four states and two countries, and I have lost count of the number of apartments and houses.

I once complained to my Southern Alter Ego that I felt like as soon as I got settled anywhere, I would be uprooted and have to start all over. She suggested that it might help me to see moving as planting seeds in different places. That analogy made me feel better, but moving is never easy.

I have also noticed that as soon as I know I am going to move, I start daydreaming about having a garden. I have never had the space or time to have own garden, but I love the idea of committing to a place and a piece of land for long enough to make things grow and be able to eat food that I planted myself.

After my New Year's resolution last year didn't work out, I wasn't sure whether I would try having a resolution this year. Until a few weeks ago, I had no idea what this year would look like. My current job ends in August and I was feeling very uncertain about where I would go next and what I would do.

But I have decided to stay in Seattle for a year after this job is over and so my resolution for this year is to have my own garden. I haven't decided what I will plant, but I am very excited about growing some of my own food and staying in my house long enough for a garden to grow.

Of course, I know that I am not in control and any plans I make are tentative. I still don't know what this year will look like, really, but I am grateful for all that I have. As the new year begins, I am especially grateful for my family and friends, my job, food on the table, a warm home, and hope for the future.

Somebody to Love

I just finished reading Song of Songs and it almost made me wish I wasn't single. I really don't buy the explanation that this book is all about Christ's love for the church. This is a story about two people who are crazy about each other and some of the verses made me think, "hey, I'd like someone to feel that way about me!"

Being single is still kind of a novelty for me. I was in one relationship or another virtually continuously from the age of 14 to 25. My most recent relationship lasted for about six years and we both really thought that was it. We talked about marriage, children, real estate, you name it.

Then, right around the time I moved to Seattle, it all fell apart. It wasn't anyone's fault and we both felt really bad about it, but it just wasn't working anymore. I was devastated, but I was also studying for the bar exam, so I alternated between being devastated and being really studious, sometimes by the hour.

After some time had passed, I discovered that I really like being single. I have so much time to do things I want to do! And when I make plans, I really only have to think about myself. I tried casual dating for a while, but I hate small talk and I found that I was just having meals with very nice guys that I didn't care about, so I stopped.

I think my mother is about to despair at the prospect of ever having grandchildren. Whenever this comes up, I remind her that considering she had four children, it is bound to happen sooner or later. And I do want to get married and have children, eventually.

Over the summer, I had a moment of inspiration about the kind of husband that I would like to eventually have. Here is what I wrote in my journal about it:

An ideal husband: A man who is creative and kind. He is cute, but not cocky, and he thinks I am beautiful. He is not afraid of talking about faith and he seeks God. He wants to have a family and is committed to raising children with clear values and a sense of social responsibility. He has a great sense of humor and sees the irony in everyday life. He inspires me to be the best version of myself and sees clearly which choices are right for me, even when I don't see them myself. He loves the arts and good food and enjoys cooking with me. He likes to sing. He is good at managing money and helps us to live within our means. He comes from a large family and gets along with his relatives. He is as smart as me, but in a different and complementary way. He has interests that he is passionate about and a career that gives him time to pursue those interests. He loves me and is excited about spending time with me.

I believe that he is out there and that someday I will find him. This does not mean that I am looking or want you to start setting me up (you know who you are!). For now, I have plenty to do and I am willing to wait until the right person comes along.

Three Little Hats

A couple at University Friends Meeting is expecting triplets in January, so we had a secondhand baby shower for them after meeting last week. I think Friends cleaned out most of the baby consignment stores in Seattle!

I made three little hats for the occasion.

They weren't technically secondhand, but I did already have the yarn, so I figured that was close enough. I really liked the way they turned out and I think my cats did too!

Give Peace a Chance

My brother James and my sister Lael are both off on adventures, travelling through the United States. I can't say I'm not jealous, but it is fun to live vicariously through their stories and pictures. This picture of James's latest stop made me laugh. He looks like such a flower child and his hair is very impressive.

Busy Life, Idle Blog

A short post to explain why I probably won't be writing so much this week. There is a lot going on around here! My roommate got back from his summer travels on Saturday. Though he did accidentally lock me out of the house yesterday, he has more than made up for it with his newfound love of baking bread!

Then my brother James arrived yesterday. He is here for the week before setting off on a tour of the U.S. Did you know that Amtrak sells month passes? It is fun to spend time with James and he treated me to a lovely Indian dinner tonight. I think maybe it's a good idea to have so many boys around, they seem to feed me!

Good news on the job search. I was just settling down after getting all of my applications done when I found out that I have an interview next Tuesday! It's only a first-round interview, but I am excited about it. And if this doesn't work out, I still have year to find something else . . .

Finally, I have my first volunteer shift serving breakfast at ROOTS tomorrow. I went to training ages ago, but I had to wait until the beginning of the month to get on the schedule. Of course, this means that I have to get up pretty early, so I think I'd better head to bed.

All I'm Going to Say About Palin

I was catching up on the New York Times this morning and happened across Maureen Dowd's column. I was somewhat amused until I got to this:

This chick flick, naturally, features a wild stroke of fate, when the two-year governor of an oversized igloo becomes commander in chief after the president-elect chokes on a pretzel on day one.

Fine. Make fun of her hair and her shoes, her lack of experience, and the fact that she repeatedly calls herself a "hockey mom." But making fun of Alaska? That's just low.

Slowing Down

This week, I decided not to run the Portland Marathon. Overall, I feel relieved, but part of me is a little bummed about this decision. The marathon was my New Year's resolution, and I got pretty far toward my goal. I have never run a marathon, but I think I probably could, and back in January it seemed like ten months was a good amount of time to get ready. I really had no concept of how much time it would take to train, though, and I realized a few days ago that I just didn't want to do it. And I got the flu, so it seemed like my body was telling me to take a break.

I feel like this is a pattern for me: I do too much, then I get sick. It's like I can't relax until I am completely worn out. This is frustrating because I have recognized this pattern for quite a while, but I keep going through it. I try to rest and I love to sleep, but there are always so many other things to do. Even when I go on vacation, I always seem to find things to keep me busy.

Fortunately, I have time to rest now. I am staying in town for the three day weekend and I am not going in to work at all. As always, there are things I want to get done (laundry, a job application, a trip to the farmers market), but I plan on taking it easy for the next few days. If I got any channels, I would consider watching hours of random television. Maybe I will look through my roommate's DVD collection and see if anything seems sufficiently mindless. I am definitely looking forward to not going on any long runs!

Home

I'm back in Seattle again and exhausted, but happy to be here. My trip was wonderful and went by very quickly. Maybe I'll try to write more about it after I have had a decent night's sleep. For now (and because Emily suggested that I should have some more visual interest), here is a word cloud that my Southern Alter Ego made for me on http://wordle.net, using a live feed from my blog:

Fives

Robin M had this "meme of fives" on her blog and it seemed like fun, so I thought I'd give it a try.

“The rules of the game get posted at the beginning. Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.”

1) What were you doing 5 years ago? I was just finishing up the season working in the costume shop for Shakespeare Santa Cruz.

2) What are 5 things on your to-do list for today? Laundry, work on job applications, make dinner, start packing for my trip to Anchorage, and knit a baby hat.

3) What are 5 snacks you enjoy? String cheese, popcorn, ginger candy, Brown Cow yogurt, and Newman's Own dark chocolate peanut butter cups.

4) What are five things you would do if you were a billionaire? I would give 5% each to Freedom Friends Church and University Friends Meeting (I think that would take care of the building problems!), pay off my student loans and my parents' mortgage, buy a big house with a big garden and try to get friends to come live with me (I think free rent would convince a lot of them), give enough to ROOTS and other shelters that everyone in Seattle who needed a place to sleep would have one, and give enough to Seattle Girls' School that every girl who wanted to go would have a full scholarship.

5) What are five jobs you’ve had? Radio and television intern, sales clerk, gift wrapper for a toy store, SAT prep teacher, and judicial clerk.

I'm not going to tag anyone (everyone I know has enough to do already), but feel free to answer the questions if you want.

Death Cab Love

The other day, my Southern Alter Ego was very excited to announce that she had found my future husband:

I told her that I was not opposed to marrying a musician (I like having a lot of time to myself, so a spouse who is on tour a lot seems kind of ideal), but wikipedia says that he is an atheist, so that may be more of a problem. Wikipedia is frequently wrong, though . . .

On a completely different topic, happy birthday Lael!

Quaker Runner

I heard Zen defined recently as being absorbed in an activity that takes all your focus. If that definition is accurate, then here is a picture of me being completely Zen.

A Few Good Books

My name is Ashley and I am a compulsive reader. I read more than just about anyone else I know. I have always been a fast reader and I tend to read three to four books at a time. Right now, I am actively reading People of the Book, by Geraldine Brooks, the Bible, Be Full of Yourself! The Journey from Self-Criticism to Self-Celebration, by Patricia Lynn Reilly, and The Best American Nonrequired Reading 2006, edited by Dave Eggers. And there are a few other books on my night stand that I have started and will probably get back to soon. I am fortunate to have an excellent public library within walking distance of my office. Otherwise, my reading habit would be very expensive.

I also have a very hard time keeping what I am reading to myself. My friends, family, and co-workers occasionally get annoyed by how often I read sentences, paragraphs, and pages aloud, but they are usually pretty good sports about it. Later, they come to me for book recommendations. I take these requests very seriously and take a lot of factors into account, including the interests that I share with the other person, our relationship, what I know about the other person's reading habits, and conversations we have had about books and life. It is a little scary recommending books because I am never completely sure whether others will like the book or even read it, but it is very rewarding when they do.

The first time I remember making book recommendations was to my friend Inger in elementary school. She and I ran into each other at the Loussac Library and she complained that she could not find anything to read. I was appalled. When the city decided to build the Loussac, it was by far the biggest library I had ever seen. I thought it was the most amazing refuge, containing all the books I could ever want. The thought that Inger couldn't find a single book that she wanted to read was just outrageous. I immediately began walking through the children's section, pulling books off the shelves and handing them to her. Some I had read, some I had heard of, and some just seemed interesting. Inger looked a little shell shocked, but she took all of the books I handed to her and dutifully checked them out.

At the writers' conference, I kept a running list of books that people recommended. By the end of the weekend, the list included The Odyssey, Beowulf, The Orchid Thief, Walden, Refuge, The Elements of Style, Artful Sentences, The Sincerest Form: Writing Fiction by Imitation, Middlemarch, The American Way of Dying, Surfacing, The Woman at the Washington Zoo, Rabbit Run, Happy all the Time, Broken For You, Tell Me That You Love Me, Junie Moon, and The Thin Place. I have read some of these, but not all, and the ones I have not should keep me busy for quite a while.

When I started this blog, I really wasn't sure how to structure it or what I should include. I knew that my primary focus would be my spiritual journey, but the books I have loved have so influenced my life and writing that I didn't feel I could begin without them. So without any explanation, I included the list of "books I love" in column on the left. I also think this list gives readers a little insight into where I am coming from. For example, the fact that two of my favorite writers are David Sedaris and Barbara Kingsolver explains more about my sense of humor and politics than a dreary post on those topics could.

It has been interesting for me to see how the list has become incorporated into my posts. I did not plan to dedicate an entire post in response to Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz when I added it to the list, and I would have added Bird by Bird even if I didn't know I was going to see Anne Lamott at the Kachemak Bay Writers' Conference.

I have come to think of this blog as a more organized and public version of the random thoughts going through my head. Similarly, the list of books I love is a more concrete version of the casual book recommendations I have made over the years. There are certain books I come back to over and over and that I want everyone to read and those are generally the ones I put on the list. These books have changed my life in one way or another and when I see others reading them for the first time, I feel a little jealous that they have that ahead of them.