A Valiant Sixteen - Part 3

Supporting and Encouraging Leadings

“In the early days of Friends, it seemed as though ministers sprang up from the earth like watered crops.  Now it seems as if this gift is the rare tree emerging from a crevice in the rock.  We marvel at its tenacity, but it does not occur to us to apply fertilizer.”  Margery Post Abbott & Peggy Senger Parsons, Walk Worthy of Your Calling: Quakers and the Traveling Ministry

For many of the Friends I talked to, they began traveling in the ministry before they knew what to call what they were doing.  Several Friends spoke of individuals who had acted as mentors for them.  It was helpful for them to have other recognize, support, and encourage their leadings.  Young Friends who feel called to travel in the ministry may have a difficult time asking for support, or knowing what kinds of support they need.  Several ministers said how grateful they were to others who suggested forms of support and helped them find the support they needed.

Many meetings and churches have experience with providing clearness committees for Friends who are getting married or need support in discernment.  When a young Friend expresses a leading to travel in ministry, a clearness committee is a good place for the meeting to start helping the Friend discern how she is being called.  If it becomes clear that the Friend is called into ongoing service or ministry, the meeting should provide an ongoing support and accountability committee for the minister.

A support and accountability committee functions in some ways like a clearness committee.  Friends meet and worship together, the minister shares how she sees the Spirit at work, and the committee may ask clarifying questions or mirror back to the Friend things that seem important or ways in which the Spirit seems to be moving.  A support and accountability committee differs from a clearness committee in that it is ongoing, instead of meeting just once, and it’s purpose is to provide support for the minister that is specific to his or her ministry.  Support might include being in contact with the minister while she is traveling by phone or email, praying for the minister, helping the minister find an elder or traveling companion, and acting as a liaison between the minister and the rest of the meeting.  It is important for the committee to allow the minister to use spiritual language that is comfortable and meaningful for her.

I have had wonderful experiences with my own support committee.  It started out, as many of them do, as a clearness committee.  I was feeling led to ministry in various ways and having a hard time seeing how they all related, so I asked my meeting for a clearness committee.  After we met, the committee suggested that we meet again in a few months.  We have continued to meet for two years.  When I began the School of the Spirit program On Being a Spiritual Nurturer, my committee became more formal and began to meet once a month.  I am grateful for a place to worship with Friends and I feel supported and challenged by them each time we get together.  They have been able to watch me grow and change in how I approach ministry and can ask me whether I am being faithful.

Because I am sojourning with University Friends Meeting and plan to return to Freedom Friends Church, I actually have two support committees, one in Washington and one in Oregon.  Before each meeting, I write a page or two about my condition and send it to both groups.  I meet with the committee in Washington, and someone takes notes during the meeting.  The notes go out to both committees.  After I move to Oregon this summer, I will continue to follow this practice, but meet with my committee in Oregon.

[From the research paper I wrote for the School of the Spirit on the spiritual nurture of young Friends traveling in the ministry.]

A Valiant Sixteen - Part 2

The Historical Practice of Friends Traveling in the Ministry

“The ‘valiant sixty’ was a movement of men and women in their late teens and twenties who went first to London, Bristol, and Norwich to proclaim the Gospel message.  Later they traveled to Europe and to the American colonies to carry the message abroad.”  Wilmer A. Cooper, A Living Faith: A Historical Study of Quaker Beliefs

In the early days of the Religious Society of Friends, many women and men felt called to travel in the ministry.  Although there are an increasing number of traveling ministers today, meetings and churches may have little or no experience with Friends traveling in the ministry.  

A surprising number of the ministers I spoke with had formally studied Friends, Friends history, and travel in the ministry in college or in seminary.  Meetings and churches are fortunate to have ministers with a strong understanding of the history of travel in the ministry, but it can be draining for these ministers to have the added burden of educating their meetings and the meetings they visit about the historical practice of Friends traveling in the ministry.

Accordingly, the first step meetings and churches can take in supporting young Friends who feel called to travel in the ministry is to become familiar with the practice, both historically and in the present day, and to learn about the various ways that meetings and churches can support these leadings.

[From the research paper I wrote for the School of the Spirit on the spiritual nurture of young Friends traveling in the ministry.]

A Valiant Sixteen - Part 1

Introduction

“After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go.  He told them, ‘The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few.  Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.’”  Luke 10:1-2.

When I decided to write about the spiritual nurture of young Friends traveling in the ministry, my motivation was personal.  As a young person who travels in the ministry, I found it was easy for me to get traveling minutes, and not very difficult to get money (not a lot of money, but grants to pay for travel), but it was harder to find spiritual nurture.  I wasn’t even sure what I meant by spiritual nurture.  I was also aware that some of the issues I was facing arose specifically because I am a young Friend.  So I decided to interview other young Friends who travel in the ministry to find out what kinds of spiritual nurture are most helpful to them.

The response was incredible.  Friends from all over the United States and Canada responded to my questions in person, over the phone, and by email.  Each one was so supportive of my project and urged me to contact other Friends to hear their stories.  And as I talked to these traveling ministers and elders, it felt like looking into a mirror.  Over and over, I heard my own experiences reflected back to me.  In each conversation, I felt my heart expand in love and appreciation for the work that these Friends are doing.

As my research for this project, I interviewed 16 Friends (including myself), age 24-34, who have traveled (and in many cases, continue to travel) in the ministry.  At least twice as many names were suggested to me.  These Friends represent the various branches of Quakerism.  About two-thirds grew up as Friends.  I interviewed Friends who identify as liberal, evangelical, conservative, convergent, and who feel called to Quakerism as a whole.  Some identify as Christian, others do not.  They are responding to calls to pastoral care, hospitality, music, eldering, telling stories, education, gospel ministry, bridge building, and reconciliation.  They have traveled to Haiti, Mexico, Palestine, Israel, Syria, Jordan, England, Kenya, Iraq, and meetings and churches across the United States and Canada in response to the leadings of the Spirit.  I am grateful to all of them for their stories.

It would take a book for me to relate all of the experiences that these Friends shared with me.  Instead of trying to include everything, I am going to focus on the places of connection, the times when others’ experiences resonated with my own.   In our conversations, I was amazed by the similarities between these Friends’ stories, and it was easy to see themes.  My hope is that this paper is useful for meetings and churches that want to support young Friends who feel called to ministry, and it will encourage young Friends who may be experiencing that call.

[From the research paper I wrote for the School of the Spirit on the spiritual nurture of young Friends traveling in the ministry.]

Reflection Paper

In preparation for the 2010 Pacific Northwest Quaker Women's Theology Conference, we have asked each woman attending the conference to write a brief reflection paper on the theme, Walk With Me: Mentors, Elders, and Friends, and three quotes:

From: 2 Timothy 1:5-7
I’m reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois, then in your mother Eunice, and now, I’m certain, in you as well. That’s why I want to remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God didn’t give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, of self-discipline.

From: Martha Paxson Grundy, Tall Poppies: Supporting Gifts of Ministry and Eldering in the Monthly Meeting, p. 27, Pendle Hill Publications.
“Many Friends today are crying out for spiritual mentors, for ministers and elders who are lovingly steeped in our tradition. Some Friends hunger for a deeper relationship with God, for a connection with a divine power that heals and empowers. We long for wise and loving role models and examples.”

From: Patricia Loring, Listening Spirituality Vol. II, 1999.
“As meetings became settled, elders performed a variety of functions, according to their gifts and leadings. . . . [A]ll gifts and ministries were for building up the spiritual life of the meeting and the Society: directing and re-directing people to the Spirit of God, to the Inward Christ, the Light, the Inward Teacher, the Guide, the one true Priest and Shepherd. It was clearly understood that any member of the meeting might be called to some part of this service, but that some were specifically led by the Spirit at any given time.”

This is my reflection paper, which will be shared with all of the women attending the conference.

Walk With Me: Mentors, Elders, and Friends

As a child, I had frequent nightmares.  Seeing any sort of violent picture or watching a violent movie would give me terrible dreams.  I convinced my younger sister to share a bed with me for years to try to keep the bad dreams away (though I told her that it was because she might have nightmares, not me).  When I talked to my mom about my bad dreams, she gave me a Bible verse, II Timothy 1:7.  In the translation she taught me, the verse was, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and a sound mind.”

I think the verse was helpful for me when I was younger, and the translation we are using for this conference seems like an appropriate message for me now.  “For God didn’t give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, of self-discipline.”  I sometimes act as if God had given me a spirit of timidity.  I resist giving vocal ministry until I am visibly shaking and my breath is ragged and it is clear to everyone around me that I have to speak.  I dread public speaking and I am embarrassed when I am the center of attention.  But God keeps telling me to speak, so I do.

As I have helped plan this conference over the past two years, I have spent a lot of time thinking about the theme.  The first time I heard Quakers use the word “elder,” I didn’t know what it meant, but I knew it sounded like a bad thing.  These Friends were discussing someone’s inappropriate behavior in meeting and having to “elder” that person.  Since then, I have learned a more positive definition of elder: someone who names and nurtures the spiritual gifts of people in a meeting and cares for the spiritual needs of the meeting as a whole.

Part of the work I have done to prepare for this conference has been to visit Friends meetings and churches and invite women to come.  Sarah P and I have gone to many meetings and churches to worship with Friends and talk about our experiences with the conference.  Although speaking in front of groups has been challenging for me, overall, this travel in the ministry has been a very good experience.  Friends have been welcoming and we have had wonderful discussions about the different ways we talk about and experience the Spirit.

I am so grateful to all of the women who have been walking alongside me for the past two years.  Each time the planning committee met, elders would hold us in prayer.  I have a wonderful support committee made up of women who meet with me once a month to worship, listen, and hold me accountable as I try to discern what I am called to do.  As Sarah and I have traveled and worked together, we have tried to be intentional about our spiritual friendship, giving each other space to talk about how God is at work in our lives.  I am also thankful for all the friends who have checked in with me and given me phone call pep talks.

Many people have commented on how young Sarah and I are to be co-clerking the planning committee.  When I attended the last women’s conference, I was so impressed by the amount of experience the women at the conference had.  I met women who had served as leaders in their meetings, churches, and in the wider Quaker world.  I look up to these women as mentors and elders, and I hope that this conference will provide space for women to share what they have learned with each other, across lines of age and tradition.

Setting aside time to listen to God and to listen to each other is a powerful thing.  As much as I have been trying to plan this conference, I know that I can only do so much.  I look forward to hearing what each person will bring as we gather together to listen.

[If you are interested in attending the conference, registration is open until June 1 on our website.  We are also accepting donations for scholarships.]

Becoming Whole

This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.  (Matthew 5:23-24)

My first experience of Friends from different traditions coming together was at the Pacific Northwest Quaker Women's Theology Conference in 2008.  Over the course of that weekend, space opened up for me.  Hearing women from evangelical Friends churches speak reminded me of the evangelical church of my childhood.  For the first time, I really had time to feel how much it hurt me to leave that church and to grieve.  It was hard and painful at the time, but it was also good to face that part of myself and begin to accept it.

I don't think it's an accident that I am frequently called to ministry between the branches of Friends.  As someone who grew up in an evangelical culture but now worships with liberal Friends, I feel myself being drawn to the gaps between the groups.  I know both languages and I can go back and forth between these Friends who don't always speak to each other directly.

As I try to follow the Spirit in my daily life, it is becoming harder for me to compartmentalize parts of myself.  I no longer feel that my work self is so different from the way I am at home or at meeting.  In a recent conversation with a friend, I defined integrity as knowing who you are and bringing your full self to every situation.  I fall short of this often, but I am trying to be more fully myself and I admire those I see around me who are trying to live with integrity.

When I travel to Friends churches and meetings, sometimes the Religious Society of Friends seems very compartmentalized.  Talks about different kinds of worship can quickly become debates over who the "real Quakers" are.  Some worship in silence, some with singing, some with spoken prayer, and some through listening to a prepared message.  But everywhere I go, I meet Friends who have a living relationship with the Spirit and are waiting to hear the voice of God in worship.

At the Quaker Women's Theology Conference, we encourage women to use narrative theology, that is, to tell their own stories of how God is at work in each person's life.  I think sometimes we are afraid of talking about God because we fear that our experiences do not match.  But it makes a lot of sense to me that we would all have different experiences of knowing God.  I think God is like a mutual friend.  For example, I know Sarah, and Sarah's husband knows Sarah, and you may know Sarah, but we would never expect to all know the same things about Sarah.  Narrative theology allows us to recognize God in another person's story, even if that person uses very different language.

As I write this, my heart is with the Friends who are planning the Young Adult Friends Gathering in Wichita, Kansas next month.  I am still not clear whether I will be able to go to the gathering, but I know that the work they are doing is good and important.  These Friends are doing the hard work of reconciliation, of bringing together the different pieces of the Religious Society of Friends.  We need to know who we are and face all of the parts of ourselves before we can bring the message of peace to a world that so desperately needs to hear that message.  I am proud of these leaders who are trying to go to each other and make things right, and I will continue to pray for all who will gather to worship together.

Daily Bread

Then the Lord said to Moses, "I will rain down bread from heaven for you.  The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day.  In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions."  (Exodus 16:4)

A little over a week ago, I freaked out about money again.  I got a notice in the mail telling me that my forbearance period is ending and I will have to start making payments on my student loans again in July.  I called the lender to ask whether it would be possible to wait to pay until September, when I will have a regular paycheck again.  The person on the phone was sympathetic, but had good reasons for recommending that I start paying at least the interest on my loan in July.

Soon after, I went to Spokane for the weekend.  Sarah P and I were going to visit Sandpoint Friends Meeting in Sandpoint, Idaho, the last of our official meeting visits for the Quaker Women's Theology Conference.  Over the weekend, I said to Sarah that I had been feeling a lot like the Israelites in the wilderness.  Even though God has always provided for me in the past, I worry about having enough for tomorrow.

Sarah and I had a wonderful time visiting Spokane Friends.  We were thrilled to have our friend Leann accompany us as an elder.  Worship was quiet, but filled with the Spirit, and after worship, Friends there welcomed us with a delicious potluck.  We enjoyed sharing about the women's conference and talking about the different ways Friends worship together.

I flew back to Seattle on Sunday evening and got home around 10.  I was hungry from traveling and went to the kitchen to look for a snack.  When I opened the fridge, it was packed with all kinds of fruit and vegetables, much more than we usually have.  I asked my housemates about why we had so much food and they said a CSA box had showed up at our door during the weekend.

Over the next two days, we tried to get in touch with the CSA.  My housemate wrote them an email to let them know that we received the box of food, but had not ordered or paid for the delivery.  We figured it was probably supposed to go to someone in the neighborhood, but had been delivered to our house by mistake.  Finally, someone from the CSA responded.  He said he did not know who the intended recipient of the box was, but to go ahead and eat the produce so it wouldn't go to waste!  

So for the past week, I have been eating an amazing variety of fruit and vegetables from the CSA box.  This is not the first time I have suspected that God has a pretty good sense of humor. I am grateful that sometimes that sense of humor comes in the form of tasty food that mysteriously appears on my doorstep!

Register for the Quaker Women's Theology Conference!

Dear Friends,

We would like to remind you that the early registration deadline for the Pacific Northwest Quaker Women's Theology Conference is May 1.  If you have already registered for the conference, we look forward to seeing you!  If not, please consider registering on our website: www.pnwquakerwomen.org.  Remember, there are three steps to register for the conference: 1. registration, 2. payment, and 3. uploading your paper, and all of these need to be completed by May 1.

Even if you will not be able to attend the conference, please encourage friends to come.  Right now, women from Northwest Yearly Meeting are not proportionately represented.  If you are from Northwest Yearly Meeting, please consider attending.  If you are not, please invite women you know from Northwest Yearly Meeting.  The conference is a place for us to share the best of our Quaker traditions, and we hope that women from Northwest Yearly Meeting will be present to share what is meaningful for them in the programmed and evangelical tradition.

We also ask you to consider donating to our scholarship fund.  We rely entirely on donations to provide scholarships for women to attend the conference.  At this point, because we have not received donations, we are not able to offer any scholarships.  You can donate on our website.

We are excited to see the ways the Spirit is at work as we plan the conference.  Please keep us in your prayers as we prepare to listen to God and to listen to each other this summer.

In peace,

Ashley W and Sarah P

Planning Committee Co-Clerks
www.pnwquakerwomen.org